The A Team, Season 1

B.A. Baracus:
[about Hannibal] You learn to love him, Mama. But it takes a long time.

Amy:
That's the same thing he said about you.

Face:
I got us a Gulfstream. Can you fly it?

Murdock:
Hey, brother. If it's got wings, I can fly it.

Face:
Great.

Murdock:
Hey, Face, what's a Gulfstream?

Hannibal is strapping an unconscious B.A. to his seat on the plane.

Amy:
Excuse me, but what are you doing?

Hannibal:
We're tying him up so he won't kill us if he comes-to.

Amy:
[looking puzzled] I see. Excuse me again, but isn't he one of you, I mean isn't he on the team?

Face:
Yes.

Amy:
So then why do you have to drug him?

Hannibal:
He hates the pilot.

Amy:
Hates the pilot? Why?

Face:
Because our pilot is insane.

Amy:
[pointing at the cockpit] So he's up there now, flying us?

Face:
Yes.

[Murdock, who should be flying the plane, walks past singing. Face gets up and leads him back to the cockpit]

Face:
What a kidder!

Amy:
I'm not sure you are exactly what I bargained for.

Hannibal:
Let's get something straight right now. You want your friend back. The authorities shined you on, so you went out and hired a bunch of gun-fighters. Now, if you wanted someone with good manners, you should've hired an English butler.

Amy:
The pilot's really insane?

Hannibal:
We think so.

Amy:
Are you still being chased by the government?

Hannibal:
That's right.

Amy:
What I don't understand, is why you're not living in Switzerland, where it's safe?

Hannibal:
Because we're not Swiss. We're Americans. We've got a little problem right now. But we'll work our way out of it somehow. In the mean time, we stick together and do what we do best.

[Murdock is singing in the cockpit when Hannibal joins him]

Hannibal:
The sleeping giant awakes.

[Murdock stops singing and stares shocked at Hannibal.]

Hannibal:
How fast can you bring us down?

Murdock:
You just landed, brother.

Amy:
Why'd he [B.A.] hit you?

Hannibal:
Hit me? If he hit me, I'd be in the hospital.

Martin James:
The Lord shall test them! They shall walk through the valley of his wrath.

Hannibal:
Now you're beginning to walk through the valley of my wrath, Preacher.

[Face gets hit hard in the face]

Hannibal:
[holds up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up?

Face:
Blue.

B.A. Baracus:
We're comin' in, Jack! Now get the First Aid Kit, before you have to use it on yourself!!

B.A. Baracus:
We vote because I say we vote!

[Murdock is being shown Rorschach ink blots by a prison psychiatrist. The first picture is a butterfly]

Murdock:
Tractor.

Psychiatrist:
You don't really see a tractor, do you, Murdock?

Murdock:
[smiles] You're right. I was just guessing.

Psychiatrist:
Well, don't guess. What does it look like?

Murdock:
Ink. It looks like ink. See, I have done this most of my life off and on and I don't see nothin', so I just guess.

Psychiatrist:
It looks like a butterfly, don't it? See, there's the wings and there's the head.

Murdock:
Hey, yeah. Yeah! I see that. Yeah, it's a butterfly!

Psychiatrist:
Good. Butterfly. Now what is this?

[Psychiatrist puts another picture on the table.]

Murdock:
Garbage bag. Empty garbage bag.

(Psychiatrist rolls eyes and motions for the guard to take Murdock away.)

Murdock:
I'd like a trash bag, please, if you have one. I really could use a trash bag.

Murdock:
[from inside padded cell] TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want 'em! I want 'em!!

Psychiatrist:
[To guard] Do we have any trashbags? Maybe he'll put his head inside and suffocate.

Murdock:
TRAAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAAASH BAGS! [gets one and stops shouting]

Psychiatrist:
We give him one, and he shuts up for a couple of hours.

Face:
Hmmm. Interesting. If I could talk to him, I might be able to determine if it's a genuine neurotic fixation or if our boy is trying to section eight his way into the soft walls of a prison psych ward.

Psychiatrist:
I sure would appreciate that. None of us can get any sleep around here.

[Murdock and Hannibal are seated in chairs will trash-bag balloons tied to them]

Hannibal:
Murdock, how'd I let you talk me into this?

Murdock:
I don't know, I have intermittent memory loss!

[Takes off over prison wall]

Police Inspector Ed Maloney:
[while being confronted by Captain Stark and his men] Cops? You’re not cops. You’re killers. You’re murderers killing for money.

Police Inspector Ed Maloney:
I've been a cop too long to let this one go by. There are 8,000 good guys on the force in this town. And I'm not going to let one crud like Stark muck it up for the rest of them.

B.A.:
We're offline Hannibal, all four mics are dead!

Hannibal:
[from behind a newspaper] Looks like they found them.

Face:
Great, that means we've lost the edge. Up against guys like these that, that doesn't make me feel too good.

[Murdock opens his mouth to say something]

B.A.:
Shut up, Murdock! Shut up!... I told you this plan stinks!

Murdock:
[sings] Did you ever see a hearse go by and think that someday you'd surely die. They put you in a little box and cover you over with dirt and rocks.

[Face and Hannibal get arrested by a county cop.]

Cop:
'Course you realize when we run these prints through we are gonna find out who you guys are.

Hannibal:
I told you before, we're ballet dancers.

Face:
That guy over at Doc's is our choreographer.

Hannibal:
Yeah, we had a nasty audience. I don't think they liked our "pas de deux". Opened up on us from the first row with a .50-caliber machine gun.

[Hannibal has been captured by the episode's antagonists, and is about to be knocked out with a punch]

Hannibal:
It's always darkest just before it goes totally black.

Face:
[after their left wing started releasing smoke and the plane's altitude reader, fuel indicator, compass, and other things started messing up] Murdock, what's gonna happen?

Murdock:
Looks like we're gonna crash.

Face:
No, c'mon, really. What's gonna happen?

Murdock:
[Their right engine stops] Looks like we're gonna crash... And die.

Hannibal:
Murdock, B.A., take the right. Face, stay with me.

Face:
Uh, Hannibal, if we're gonna fight, I'd really prefer to be teamed with B.A.

Murdock:
Me too.

Hannibal:
Are you guys saying you don't want to team up with me?

Face and Murdock:
Yes!

Hannibal:
Why?

B.A.:
I'll tell you why. Because when you're on the jazz, man, you're dangerous!

Amy:
[To B.A. after discovering her car is totaled] A couple of bolts and some new paint?

B.A.:
[Indignant] Look, lady. I was with you, remember?

Murdock:
Oh wow! You went to Hamburger Heaven! Home of Captain Bellybuster, America's Hero. Did ya get me a Bellybustin' Surprise Pack Hannibal, didja didja didja?

Hannibal:
Ah, sorry Murdock. But...with 6 Tummy Tingler malts, look what you get free!

Murdock:
A Captain Bellybuster cap! Out of the Blue I'm coming at you. Super Nutritious and Super Delicious!