The Chaser's War On Everything, Season 3 (2009)

Chris Taylor:
It’s the same show, but with a few key changes.

Craig Reucassel:
Oh, big new changes, Chris. Like during the opening, I’m sitting on this side of the couch, and you’re sitting on that side of the couch. It’s an exciting fresh new look.

Chris Taylor:
Oh, it changes the whole feel of the programme. It’s very 2009.

Craig Reucassel:
Hello and welcome to the War for another week, the only show on TV that has more boofheads and morons than the Rugby League State of Origin.

Chris Taylor:
(Talking about going on a date while wearing a 'swine flu mask') And as for the goodnight kiss at the end of the night, well, (shows footage of Chris trying to kiss a girl while both are wearing health masks) very unsatisfactory.

Craig Reucassel:
Like usual, then, yes.

Craig Reucassel:
And can I just say, only in Australia could we have a scandal called 'Utegate'! For God's sake, what's next, 'Uggbootgate'? 'Case-of-VB-gate'? It's very embarrassing, isn't it!?

Chris Taylor:
Now, look, for those who came in late, the whole controversy began when Kevin Rudd was given a Mazda ute by his car dealer mates during the last election.

Craig Reucassel:
I can't believe he drives a ute.

Chris:
I can't believe he has a mate.

Andrew Hansen as a senior advisor of Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd:
He chained me to a desk, forcing me to shred incriminating evidence. It's not easy feeding an entire Mazda ute through a shredder.

Andrew Hansen Voice-over:
This week on Small Talk, Australia's most respected interviewer, Ray Martin, goes head-to-head with paleontologist and climate-change campaigner Tim Flannery.

Ray Martin:
So you got here okay? Traffic was alright?

Tim Flannery:
Yeah, wasn't too bad.

Ray Martin:
You got a park?

Tim Flannery:
Yeah, I got one just near here.

Ray Martin:
Now, Bill Henson, I can't let you go without asking one final question... Are you right to get home, or...?

Guard:
Polish?

Julian Morrow :
Polish? I don’t speak Polish, no, sorry.

Guard:
Polish?

Julian:
(Through his megaphone.) I don’t speak Polish. No.

In Other Media:
All five of us combined almost create one Shaun Micallef so I think it would be very foolish for any of us to try and go solo, Chas Licciardello in reference to the group working together in the future. "Chaser's Chas bows out with botox". The Sydney Morning Herald. 28 July 2009. Retrieved on 2009-07-29 . 

In Other Media:
Chas Licciardello in reference to the group working together in the future. "Chaser's Chas bows out with botox". The Sydney Morning Herald. 28 July 2009. Retrieved on 2009-07-29 .