The Cosby Show, Season 8

Clair:
What is this? [taking a hand out of the fridge]

Olivia:
My hand, I made it myself.

Cliff:
Do you need an extra?

Olivia:
Yes

Cliff:
What for?

Olivia:
You never know.

Nelson:
Dad, the ice cream is dripping on me.

Elvin:
Why don't you put your napkin on you?

Nelson:
I don't have a napkin.

Dabnis:
Well, here take mine.

Elvin:
What do you say, Nelson?

[Nelson stays quiet.]

Elvin:
What do you say?

Nelson:
May I eat my peas now?

Elvin:
Thank you.

Nelson:
You're welcome.

Cliff:
Mrs. Minifield! I told you to go to the hospital!

Mrs. Minifield:
But you were on the way!

Olivia:
(bowing) Oh-hi-yo.

Winnie and Nelson:
(bowing) New Jersey.

(After Rudy barges into Cliff and Clair's room)

Cliff:
How many times do I have to ask you to knock before you enter this room?

Rudy:
Why? It's not nighttime.

(Clair and Theo are role-playing)

Theo:
Mrs. Jackson, your daughter has a concentration problem.

Clair [as Mrs. Jackson]:
(begins speaking in Spanish)

Theo:
No, no, aww naw. I said your name is Mrs. Jackson.

Clair:
Si, soy Señora Jackson.

Theo:
How am I going to handle this?

Cliff:
Deal with it.

Theo:
Hablo un pequito de español. Necesito un interpreter.

Cliff (obviously impressed):
My man dealt with it.

Cliff:
What is the Exchange Club?

Lance:
It's just this wack club...

Cliff:
Uh, what?

Lance:
It's wack, that means it's like, ridiculous! It's this little ol' nothin' club where, like, you're supposed to be 16 to get in, but the little junior high school kids, you know, they dress up, try to look older, and they let 'em in, too! But, you know, they're basically good kids tryin' to sneak out on their parents and they jus'...OHHHH...I ain't in this!

Cliff:
Well, you are now!

Chill (to Pam):
Excuse me, my fair lady, do you know CPR?

Pam:
Why?

Chill:
'Cause you may just stop my heart.

Pam:
You gotta be kidding.

Chill:
The only thing I gotta be is by your side.

Pam:
And did you know that Mr. Bostick is the ugliest man I've ever seen?!

Charmaine:
Huh?

Pam:
Yeah, did you notice that there is hair coming from his ears and that ugly mole on his throat that moves up and down when he talks? Come on Charmaine, let's apply to college.... (Charmaine sits there stunned) DON'T HOLD ME BACK, CHARMAINE!

Lance (to Charmaine):
See you later, baby.

Charmaine:
Lance, don't use outside words inside!

Cliff:
You take another step and I'll be a clean man.

Elvin:
I think he's serious. Especially with that...assault with a cleanly weapon.

Cliff:
I will Hoverize you!

Cliff:
All of you who do not have a job, raise your hands. And while you have your hands up, I want you to look down because for guys who aren't working, I'm seeing expensive sneakers.

Miriam Makeba (to Olivia):
Excuse me, I didn't know anybody was living in the closet.

Olivia:
That's allright, I don't really live in here, I'm hiding.

Miriam Makeba:
But your family's worried about you, why are you hiding?

Olivia:
My daddy's going away for 3 months and he promised me he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. So if he can't find me, he can't tell me goodbye.

Miriam:
At least you got somebody to say goodbye to. They just left me.

Olivia (about her dad):
If he goes away, I'll be all alone.

Miriam Makeba:
In my culture, there isn't a word for alone, it simply does not exist. Everybody is family, meaning everybody is responsible for somebody else.

Olivia:
I like the sound of that.

Clair:
Whether they marry or not, Dabnis is good for Vanessa. He may be the only one that can tunnel into the deep recesses of her mind.

Cliff:
Yes! But...will he be able to get out?

Kenny:
If you're here to yo-yo Rudy around, I'm here to cut the string.

Pam:
It doesn't make sense, why does the store in the neighborhood charge more so the people there can't afford to pay them?

Russell:
Because they can. They own their own company and being the only one in the neighborhood they know they have no competition so they can charge however much they want.

Lance:
But isn't that illegal?

Clair:
Not at all, because in theory you can take your business elsewhere.

Cliff:
But the thing of it is, a lot of those people living in the neighborhood can not afford transportation to the cheaper market.

Lance:
Okay, I got it. The problem is the prices are too high, right? So we go in dressed as stock boys with price guns and mark everything 2 for .99. Steak, 2 for $.99, ice cream, 2 for $.99.

Clair:
That's very good, Lance.

Lance:
Thank you, Mrs. Huxtable. (to the girls) And she's a lawyer.

Clair:
Of course you'd be tried on fraudulent charges and wind up serving 3 to 5.

(When Pam hears an auto crash outside)

Pam:
(praying) Please tell me someone did not crash into Dr. Huxtable's car! (She looks outside and winces) Ooh, can't do that!