The Practice, Season 2

Helen:
Rumor has it that Bobby and this woman got something going.

Lindsay:
Yeah, I started it. I know how gossip distracts you.

Helen:
You still like him, Lindsay?

Lindsay:
Just eat your sandwich, Helen.

Helen:
You should ask him out, for his sake. This woman is trouble.

Bobby:
I can't do it.

Eugene:
What do you mean "you can't do it"? We do it everyday. The client is always guilty. We always do it. What do you mean "you can't do it"?

Vicky:
For you. Take a polygraph for you.

Bobby:
I'm a better lawyer when I believe in my client. So it's in your interest. If what you tell me now, is the truth.

Eugene:
The first thing they teach you in law school is never, ever fall in love with a client.

Bobby:
They don't teach you that.

Eugene:
Well they should!

Reporter:
What's your comment, Helen?

Helen:
I never have any comment, why would I have one today?

Reporter:
Miss Gamble, how do you think she was capable of 5 shots?

Helen:
I don't. I think it was suicide. He shot himself 5 times. I'm just prosecuting her because I don't like her outfit.

Ellenor:
Oh my God...is he dead?

Joey:
No, he's faking it for the attention. As you can see I'm in need of some legal advice.

Ellenor:
Joey, what ha--

Joey:
Yes, all right, I know... this time I've gone too far. I'd be confessing to my priest right now if I wasn't such a bad Jew.

Ward:
You never came out and said that you had done it.

Heric:
Of course not. I did not have immunity then. [Heric moves his head closer to the mic] Now, I do.

[Eugene presses the stop button in the elevator]

Flood:
What are you doing?

Eugene:
You told Jennifer Cole that she may want to have a conversation with her pimp?

Flood:
Oh, ok. [Flood attempts to push the elevator button, and Eugene blocks him] OK, so far I have you on false imprisonment. You want to keep going?

Eugene:
I'm thinking about it. You crossed the line, Dickie.

Jimmy:
You don't know me, Mr. Flood.

Flood:
Really. Tell me about yourself.

Jimmy:
I'm just a Joe with a long memory.

Flood:
Funny, so am I.

Helen:
Look, the witness has no relevant testimony which goes to the issue. I ask you to rule here not from your heart, but your head, I'd even settle for your bladder.

Judge Pratt:
Cute.

Doctor:
For you to equate what I did to a shooting homicide sickens me.

Helen:
Well if you're sick, please don't go to a doctor whose quick with the morphine.

Judge Pratt:
Ms. Mackenzie, I have a bladder the size of a small cashew. Let's cut down the nonsense. Just answer his questions.

Bobby:
Am I to understand that instead of accepting two hundred thousand, you settled on one forty, plus hospital care?

Jimmy:
Yeah.

Bobby:
You realize that we can't take a contingency on a girl's smile? If you had settled on two on a straight cash deal, this firm would have made an extra sixteen thousand dollars. You do know that.

Jimmy:
It crossed my mind.

Bobby:
Jimmy, you said you don't know what this place is. What you just did, I'd like to think that's, exactly what this place is. Good job.

[Garson moves his hand under Susan's mouth, and Susan bites him]

Garson:
Ow!

Jimmy:
Move to strike!

Tripp:
Yeah, but I still think that if we put in that I had a girlfriend, it would have made me look loving and caring.

Lindsay:
Well, we were limited by the fact that you don't have a girlfriend, Kenny.

Tripp:
Yeah, but if we had put it in, I would have got one.

Ellenor:
What exactly do you think our reputation is here, Bobby? I mean, who are you kidding? We are "reasonable doubt for a reasonable fee". We are a bottom-feeding-do-whatever-you-can-to-get-your-client-off law firm. That is exactly what we are. And what Lindsay and I did may not have been ethical, it was completely in the spirit and the tradition of Bobby Donnell.

Judge Hiller:
[to Bobby] Things don't happen in a vacuum, Bobby. I mean, maybe you have some inner compass that gives you clear directions, I don't really know. But if others try to take direction from you, I have no doubt but they'll be lost.

Judge Hiller:
Your associates talked to a juror. They were wrong. Judge Stevens was right.

Bobby:
Technically.

Judge Hiller:
That's the way we do things here, Bobby. Technically.

Mary Jane:
The picture's already been painted, Mr. Donnell. Do you read the papers?

Bobby:
Mary Jane, the newspapers have done nothing to prepare you for what you're in for once you get in that witness chair.

Pratt:
That's argumentative and badgering.

Bobby:
This is a cross examination. I would submit the doctor is being argumentative.

Judge Hiller:
Let's just have a nice, civil murder trial, shall we?

Mr. Forsythe:
Don't you think if we were going to do something like this we would have made sure we had an alibi?

Pratt:
Well, that's a good thought, Mr. Forsythe. Did you think of that before or after you killed him?

Mr. Holt:
Oh, please, that kind of discrimination goes on all the time. The only difference here is, I admit it. Harry is a negative guy who looks like an ape. And I don't want him working for my company. There's a juror over there, I won't say which one who looks like a possum. I wouldn't hire him either.

Judge McGough:
I'm terribly sorry, but I think it's time for another break.

Jimmy:
I tell ya, I was nervous. I think the defendant blew it though when he called one of the jurors a possum. You can't predict how things are going to go, but insinuating that one of the jurors is a member of the rodent family is not an accepted tactic.

Papp:
Is it a good sign that they came back this quick?

Jimmy:
It's a very good sign if we win, but not if we lose.

Papp:
That was helpful.

Jimmy:
Objection! That's a legal conclusion.

Judge McGough:
No, it isn't. But I'll sustain the objection anyway.

Jimmy:
On what grounds?

Judge McGough:
I just ruled in your favor, counsel.

Lindsay:
I know myself, Rebecca. I'm not capable of good sex.

Bobby:
You said she was a good person.

Lindsay:
She is. But, but that doesn't mean you should sleep with her.

Bobby:
I'm not gonna sleep with her! I'm just gonna put on a Simba mask and go to a party.

Lindsay:
And don't think for a second she won't be Nala.

Bobby:
Excuse me?

Bobby:
You know, you're putting yourself in a soup being seen with me.

Helen:
I like soup. The hotter, the better.

Bobby:
I'll try to remember that.

Jimmy:
[To Lindsay] Anyway, uh, I'm between relationships. And, uh, just as friends, nothing more, I thought you might want to go [to the Halloween party]. [whispers] I promise not to dream about it after.

Bobby:
Eugene, you claim I don't understand. I'll accept that, I will. I don't understand what it's like to be subjected...over and over and over again. I'll accept I'll never get that. But you know a man did die here, and the "I've had it" theory as a defense to manslaughter, I'll never understand that either.

Eugene:
Just a legal strategy. You got yours and...I got mine.

Bobby:
Yeah. But yours came from the heart.

Ellenor:
You know what, I'm going to need a little time alone with my client. Do you mind?

Blumenfeld:
That's fine.

[Kramer exits the office]

Ellenor:
[To Blumenfeld] And I apologize, because I know this now means you have to be alone with yours.

Blumenfeld:
Thank you.

Myra:
You know what, Ellenor? Probably the only long-term sexual relationship you've ever had has been with your left hand. It was a mistake to come here. Goodbye.

Ellenor:
Myra?

Myra:
Yes?

[Ellenor punches Myra, knocking her to the ground]

Ellenor:
Never insult the left!

Eugene:
Until you've been yanked out of your car, until you've been searched because of how you look, until you see the look of fear in somebody else's eyes staring back at you simply because you're black...until that kind of thing happens to you over, and over, and over, and over, and over, you can't know.

Bobby:
I'm not sure it's a smart idea making it about race. Wellesley, all white jury.

Helen:
I think it's a perfect jury to make it about race. Rich, affluent, white town. These are the people that are desperate to reach out to minorities, so long as they don't have to meet one.

Lindsay:
With Helen. What's stopping you?

Bobby:
What? Why? She said something?

Lindsay:
She says you seem stuck, like you want to go forward but you won't.

Bobby:
Well, it's just that I... I like her. That- that may be the problem. I like her.

Lindsay:
And?

Bobby:
And before I go down that road I gotta be sure about... everything else. You know?

Lindsay:
Bobby, everything else is clear.

Helen:
[about Sam] You want me to arrest him?

Bobby:
Yeah.

Helen:
To give his life meaning?

Bobby:
Yes.

Helen:
It's not exactly what we do here, Bobby.

Bobby:
Yes, I know. I was just hoping...

Helen:
Do you know how many cases I have... with real criminals?

Bobby:
You know how many clients I have, real criminals?

Lindsay:
Thank God.

Doctor:
Well, it's a little too soon for that.

Attorney:
You're honor, can we stop this?

Judge Brudister:
I stopped listening a while ago. Why don't we go to chambers and have a cookie?

Daly:
Are you going to let your client die?

Lindsay:
You're concerned for her health, Mr. Daly? Let her go, and she'll hit the toilet.

Daly:
If she agrees to flip her contact, I'll get her immunity.

[No response by Lindsay]

Daly:
Ah. You represent the boss. It seems you have a conflict.

Bobby:
Jimmy, if you're not going to be OK with this...

Jimmy:
No, I'll be fine.

Bobby:
Good.

Jimmy:
I love babysitting murderers. Hey, you said be candid. Pay no attention to the cameras.

Jimmy:
I'm only saying this cause guys like me, and there's a lot of them, we're never going to get the girl of our dreams. Never going to come close. So, the dream itself becomes kind of important. To turn on a TV or go to a movie and pretend the girl is somebody you might be with, that's as good as it gets.

D.A.:
Objection to the speech.

Oz:
Speech? [Laughs] If council had heard me before, he'd know that was no speech.

D.A.:
What I do know is that this is not the Raymond Oz show here.

Oz:
It could be, if you'd stop interrupting, young fella.

Eugene:
You said that God has those kids. That tells me you believe in God. You got to be afraid of what the Almighty has in store for you. He's vengeful. Let's not forget that. Those little boys got parents. Let them bury their kids.

Father Patrick:
Well, this is quite a day. First I kill somebody, then I lie. What a wonderful priest I am.

Jimmy:
Ellenor, tell them this is something that's done. Lawyers can't be too proud these days.

Ellenor:
I don't believe in lawyers advertising, Jimmy.

Jimmy:
You advertised for a date.

Ellenor:
Yeah, well, I don't believe in that anymore, either.

Eugene:
Dr. Walsh, though I represent Mr. Parks I will give you a free tip: if this ever ends up in court you don't want to be saying things like you hope to find a big, green tumor the size of a softball.

McGovern:
May I clarify?

Jimmy:
No. I think you came off good and clarified, Mr. McGovern. And it's my turn now.

Eugene:
Bobby, on the next one, I want off.

Bobby:
What do you mean, you want off?

Eugene:
I mean, I want off. One rape a week is my limit.

Judge Nelson:
I see. Well, you've dropped a bomb on my desk. There's absolutely no chance of me ruling on this ex parte. I'm going to notify the attorney general's office so I can hear oral arguments from both sides.

Jimmy:
In wide open court?

Judge Nelson:
Yes, council, wide open court. That's the way I like to do it.

[A Baptist choir sings in Bobby's office]

Martha:
You hear them? Every note is dead on. We're good!

Bobby:
Very good, but...

Martha:
So, we have a case. They can't reject us just because we're Christian. It's against the law. First amendment!

Bobby:
It's a synagogue, Ms. Burl. They can reject you on Christianity.

[At the wedding ceremony between his mom and another woman]

Jimmy:
What do I call her? Do I have to call her mom? Dad?

Mary Beth:
Michelle will be fine. Are you OK?

Jimmy:
I'm fine. But I don't want to hear nothing about the honeymoon.

Lindsay:
I have a client who could be perceived as um, a little too quick to sue. I'm worried one or more of the jurors may have seen your commercial.

Jimmy:
And?

Lindsay:
And, um, with a litigious plaintiff I don't think it helps our cause to be associated with Jimmy The Grunt.

Jimmy:
Go to hell.

Eugene:
Jimmy, she's not wrong.

Jimmy:
Well you go to hell, too.

Bobby:
[addressing the judge] My only defense here is legal. I'm a criminal defense attorney. I represent bad people. The adversary system is premised on the defense attorney doing whatever he can to get the guy off. It's drummed into us, we are bound by the limits of the law, but only the law. Morality. Right or wrong. Justice. If a criminal lawyer starts asking himself "What's the just result here" "How should we get to there", he's lost. It's not a noble excuse. But a legal one.

Judge Walsh:
[To Jimmy] One of the problems with the proliferation of law schools, night schools, part time schools, salons, come-get-a-shampoo, earn-a-law-degree-while-you-wait-for-your hair-to-dry, we over flood the market with attorneys. Who, because of the competition have to go out and create litigation just so they can scratch a living. I hate it. And you're a poster boy for the problem.

Silverman:
So, the defendant knew about the raid.

Helen:
I'd answer, but the defense is about to object.

Bobby:
Lindsay, I agree at some point maybe we should tell her. But could you please allow me to put a little distance between me and these multiple murder charges before we do that?

Ellenor:
This is the firm that took the tobacco industry for one, seven. You have been underestimating us from the start, Mr. West. Are you sure you want to keep doing that?

Eugene:
It may just be a notice of appearance, Jimmy. It's not necessarily their ruling.

Jimmy:
It's their ruling. Whether we have to split the trial or not, the answer's right here.

Eugene:
Well, maybe you should open it.

Jimmy:
Your Honor, we uh vigorously object to uh splitting the trial.

West:
Well, of course they do, Your Honor. They're planning to use emotion to make up for their lack of evidence.

Jimmy:
You don't know what we're doing.

West:
Do you?

Lindsay:
[to Jimmy] The work can be so dirty sometimes. But this trial, you reminded me how noble lawyers can be. I was proud to be at your side.

Jimmy:
So when you said under oath, "there is no scientific or medical evidence to support the allegations made by the plaintiffs", would that be a lie, or a mistake?

Dr. Munson:
It was a poor choice of words.

Jimmy:
Poor choice amounting to a lie or a mistake?

Dr. Munson:
A mistake.

West:
You basically all shop at the same grocery market, don't you?

Banner:
Pretty much, yes.

West:
And that market might be called a common denominator.

Banner:
I think it's called Belson's.

Jimmy:
I've waited my whole life for this case.

Helms:
It makes me look fat.

Jimmy:
That was your stomach making you look fat.

Helen:
The day I stop winning my cases, I'm gone.

Bobby:
Because of me.

Helen:
Because of you.

Bobby:
'[about Helen] You told her?

Lindsay:
Bobby, she asked me flat out. I had to.

Bobby:
What was her reaction?

Lindsay:
She's okay with it. Yeah, it happened before her. She's a big girl but stop sucking her elbows.

Lindsay:
I've been thinking about your little accusation.

Bobby:
Ahh, I'm sorry about that.

Lindsay:
I didn't tell her about us with any motive to break you up and I do think you make a great couple. But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you.

Ellenor:
We either accept manslaughter, or we go for it. What do you think?

Lindsay:
[sighs] Flip?

Ellenor:
Right. Heads, manslaughter. Tails, we go for it. [Ellenor flips the quarter in the air] Tails. It was an accident. We go for it.

Lindsay:
This is why we get paid. To make these decisions.

Lindsay:
Are you really ready to throw someone you love away for a case?

Bobby:
Yes. I got this case because somebody at a high-rise blue chip law firm recommended me. As the best. I've been practicing law in that rat hole for ten years, looking out the window, seeing those lawyers look down on me. And now one of them came into my office and said I'm the best. I like how I got this case, Lindsay. I like that I'm gonna try it in the media and that I'm gonna get paid a lot to do it and I'm gonna win it. [with glistening eyes] I'm gonna win it.

Judge Hiller:
Well, I'm not going to force either one of you off. What I'm going to do is leave you alone in this office, in the hope that one of you might be occasion to see straight. Don't eat all of my candy.

Helen:
Bobby, this doesn't have to affect you and me. It's a trial. But the only way it's not going to affect us is to admit right now and be clear about it. In this room we're enemies.

Lorraine Marks:
No she wasn't ranting. She was calm and collected and she very clearly said that it was that man who was threatening her.

Eugene:
So. She was calm and collected.

Lorraine Marks:
Yes.

[Lindsay stands to make a motion]

Lindsay:
Your honor, at this time we now move to strike the hearsay testimony of the witness. The excited utterance exception no longer applies.

Helen:
Sidebar.

Judge Hiller:
I'm afraid not.

Rebecca:
Do you ever stop and think about the business we're in?

Bobby:
Why would I ever want to do that?

Warren:
One judge says no jail, then another judge say I gotta go on trial...again?

Ellenor:
Let's not panic just yet, okay, Warren?

Warren:
Ellenor, I used to scam banks back when. This is my reward for scaling down?

Ellenor:
Okay, well, you see, that argument is not gonna fly.

Rebecca:
We all laugh at the way Eugene does his reasonable doubt thing to get people off and make bets. It doesn't seem so funny right now.

Lindsay:
Bobby, I just want you to know, this is the best law firm I know.

Bobby:
You think just because you got away with it last time that you can get away with it whenever?

Heric:
[Smugly] Yes.

[At the very start of Helen's opening argument, Heric stands to address the judge]

Heric:
I'm, I'm sorry, but I suppose that in all my, my preparation and my nervousness, I'm embarrassed to say, that I've uh, left something out.

Judge Walsh:
What's that?

Heric:
I have to pee.

[Girls are all on their desks since there's a rat running around in the office. Ellenor takes out a pistol from her drawer.]

Rebecca:
You have a gun?

Ellenor:
It's just a starter pistol.

Lindsay:
What are you gonna do, race him?

Ellenor:
[to Jimmy, about the rat running in their office] Why don't you do something, big head?

Jimmy:
It's normal size!

Lindsay:
[to Bobby] It means I might say that you're dysfunctional. Your father has worked his whole life as a janitor in a big law firm. It made you want to be a lawyer, it also made you hate them, for the way that they treated him. I mean, look at you. Fancy suits in a rat infested office? As you try to get ahead you fight yourself at the same time and it hurts everybody here. One on one I was afraid I might say that.

Bobby:
If that's the way you feel, why do you stay?

Lindsay:
Because my best friends work here. I don't wanna leave. And I'm in love with you. [Bobby looks up at her in utter surprise] I say that with no hope of you loving me back - I don't even think I want it. But I don't know, I mean, maybe as a result of my loving you I also see you, and I know with you in charge and only you in charge, this firm is maxed out. And you might be, too.