The Virginian, Season 4

[Trampas is on his way to Laramie with a woman faro dealer, a boy, and a baby. After making a messy diaper change, he lets the woman take over.]

Trampas:
I'll admit your diaper looks better than mine. Thought you said you didn't know anything about babies.

Melinda:
Oh, there's just some things that anybody knows, except those that are just plain stupid.

Trampas:
I'm not stupid. I'm ignorant. There's a difference.

[Ryker, Trampas and Randy are telling tall tales in the hotel's saloon.]

Trampas:
That ain't nothing. Why I had a rifle one time that could knock down a prarie dog two miles away.

Ryker:
That so?

Trampas:
Why I had the range measured by a licensed surveyor. Two miles even. That was his sworn testimony.

Randy:
I had a long rifle like that one time. Carried quite a bit further though.

Trampas:
Furthur?

Ryker:
Three miles.

Randy:
Carried so far I had to use smoked and salted bullets.

Trampas:
Smoked and salted bullets?

Randy:
Well like I said, it killed at such a distance, if I didn't use them smoked and salted bullets, the game would spoil before I could get to it.