WWE Superstars of Wrestling, 1992

[Sensational Sherri is a guest of the Funeral Parlor]

Paul Bearer:
Sherri, you look so lovely, so happy, so alive! Have you been to a funeral?

Sensational Sherri:
No, Paul Bearer, I'm on Cloud Nine. I've found the man of my dreams, Paul Bearer.

Paul Bearer:
Oh, does this mean you're in love? Who's the lucky guy?

Sherri:
Oh, Paul Bearer, I'm in love with a man that has long, blond, flowing locks. I'm in love with a man that has a body sculpture that even the Greek gods would envy. I'm in love with a man that has the most wonderful wrestling ability that any one person can be blessed to possess!

Mr. Perfect:
That could be me, McMahon.

Sherri:
I'm in love with a man that even has an animal magnetism that makes my blood run hot! I am in love with Shawn Michaels!

Paul Bearer:
Shawn Michaels?

Sherri:
Yes! Shawn Michaels, now that he and Marty Jannetty are no longer a team or an item. Shawn has never needed Marty Jannetty. Never ever needed Marty Jannetty. And now that he's gotten rid of that deadbeat, he has all the time in the world to accept the love and everything that I have to give him.

Paul Bearer:
Oh, but Sherri, what about the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase?

Sherri:
My Teddy bear is a wonderful, giving, and very loving man. My Teddy bear has left the door wide open for me to return at any time I decide. And my Teddy bear has given me gifts that any woman in the world would dream of having. My Teddy bear only wants what makes me happy. And my Teddy bear knows that what makes me happy, is giving and sharing all of my wealth with Shawn Michaels.

Mean Gene:
Dateline: Denver, Colorado. Recently, the Legion of Doom were scheduled to defend their Tag Team Titles against the Natural Disasters. However, prior to that matchup, Jimmy Hart, the manager and spokesman for the Natural Disasters, contacted WWF President Jack Tunney to inform him that one of the members of Legion of Doom had been injured in a previous match with the Natural Disasters. He added that, in the interest of fairness, perhaps Mr. Tunney should consider the Legion of Doom defending their titles against a different tag team-in this case, the "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and his partner, IRS. Now, this request, according to Jimmy Hart, came with the full consent and support of the Natural Disasters, who, again according to Hart, only wished to take on the Legion of Doom when LOD was once again at their full 100% capacity. President Tunney agreed.

And the result is, we have new World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions in the Million Dollar Man and IRS! However, as this story unfolds, it now appears clear that Jimmy Hart took dirty money from the Million Dollar Man to maneuver, to manipulate the Natural Disasters out of their rightful #1 contenders position. The whole thing, folks, was a setup. A sting, a scam, a con, if you will. The Natural Disasters, understandably, have unloaded Jimmy Hart. They have categorically denied ever giving him consent to do anything on this matter. They never knew a thing about it. And of course, World Wrestling Federation President Jack Tunney can't change the referee's official decision. However, he has ruled that on April 5th at WrestleMania, the very first mandatory title defense by the Million Dollar Man and IRS, now managed coincidentally by Jimmy Hart, will in fact be against Earthquake and Typhoon, the Natural Disasters.

[Jake "The Snake" Roberts is a guest on the Funeral Parlor]

Jake Roberts:
[to the Undertaker] You and I have a real problem. Now I'm standing here, if you can tell me something, face-to-face, just who in the hell do you think you are, and whose side are you on? You tell me, whose side are you on?! [Undertaker takes the urn from Paul Bearer's hands] Come on! Tell me! Tell me whose side you're on! Face-to-face, come on! Make up your mind, man. Make it up.

Undertaker:
Not yours.

Jack Tunney:
With so many worthy challengers anxiously awaiting the shot at Ric Flair's World Wrestling Federation Title, choosing an opponent has been especially difficult. At this table up here are five of the challengers: Roddy Piper, the Undertaker; on my left, Sid Justice, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and Hulk Hogan. Very hard to choose one. However, after careful consideration as well as examining the wishes of the public at large, I have reached a decision. Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed members of the press, challenging Ric Flair for the World Wrestling Federation Title at the Hoosier Dome at WrestleMania VIII will be...[Sid Justice stands up smiling]...Hulk Hogan!

Hulk Hogan:
Yes! Yes! Yes! [Sid sits back down seething] Hulkamania, I told you this thing would turn full circle, man. Now the battle lines are drawn. Ric Flair has the WWF Title. The so-called "real" world's champion is gonna find out what the power of Hulkamania is all about at WrestleMania VIII. And what you gonna do, Ric Flair, when Hulk Hogan and his little Maniacs run wild on you?!

Sean Mooney:
Macho Man, your reaction to President Jack Tunney's announcement.

Randy Savage:
Well, I didn't like it! Bottom line, I wish it was the Macho Man Randy Savage, that's me, I like that, yeah. But since I couldn't get it, I just wanna let you know that there's a piece of me that realizes that Hulk Hogan probably should've got the nod anyway, being honest, okay. So Hulkster, good luck. We've been competitors against each other in the past, but I guarantee you're a good friend, and I respect you. Go against Ric Flair at WrestleMania and do the thing! Ooh yeah, Hulkamania lives, dig it?!

Sean Mooney:
Sid Justice, you were obviously not pleased...

Sid Justice:
Shut up, AND YOU ALL SHUT UP! I wanna say something. What happened at Royal Rumble, it was simple. I was the last man standing! I would be the World Champion if it wasn't for you, Hogan, pulling me out from outside the ring. Now, what you did, Jack Tunney, was BOGUS! The most bogus act you've ever pulled off! Well, I wanna ask you, what is it? Is it because I'm not a big movie star like Hulk Hogan, the big Immortal One himself? Is it because Sid Justice is the newcomer? Well, I wanna tell you something, Hulk Hogan. You couldn't beat Ric Flair on your best day, but I can. Why? Because Sid Justice rules the world.

Mean Gene:
Papa Shango, I got to ask you what's going on?

Papa Shango:
Ultimate Warrior, how does it feel not to be in control. Ultimate Warrior, how does it feel. You have enter the dark world of Papa Shango. You have stepped into my black circle, and that black circle its closing on you. (end of interview).

Mean Gene:
Thank god it's over.

Vince McMahon:
Mean Gene Okerlund thanking his lucky stars nothing happened out there. (Then Papa put a curse on Okerlund causing his right hand to suffer a case of voodoo) Wait a minute, what's that.

Mr. Perefct:
Look its the curse of papa shango.

Vince McMahon:
What is going on?

Mr. Perect:
I have never seen anything like this before, wow!

Mean Gene:
(After his voodoo curse) Oh My God!

[Interview from October 12th in Saskatoon]

Mean Gene:
Bret Hart, you were born for this moment. You were born for this day.

Bret:
You know, Gene, I can't tell you right now how proud I am of this moment. This is the greatest moment of my whole life, and I dedicate this moment to all the people that believe that the biggest dreams can still come true.

Mean Gene:
You know, Bret Hart, I could not agree with you more. I know about your work ethic, because I have watched you virtually for your entire career. And I can't help but believe, Bret Hart, that this...this World Wrestling Federation Title in your hands at this time is the result of determination, it's the result of perseverance. You've paid your dues, I've seen you the last eight years in the trenches here n the World Wrestling Federation. And finally, this instant, this moment, all of those dreams, all of that hard work has paid off. And of course, your wishes, your dreams have now come to fruition.

Bret:
You know, Gene, since I was this tall, I've been involved in wrestling. My whole family's been involved in wrestling. I've dedicated my whole life to wrestling. My father's taught me, he stuck me on the mat. He's made me scream, he's made me feel the pain, and I've listened, and I've learned, and I've thought about it, and I've dedicated myself to the technical wrestling, to learning wrestling, following up on all those last details. The endurance, the strength, that wrestling ability, and never ever thinking that I knew it all 'cause you never know it all. And I've had my share of wins, I've had my share of losses, but you wait your whole lifetime for one chance, just one single chance, and I've got that chance. And I've got to thank every single wrestler that I've ever wrestled against. I've wrestled the greatest wrestlers in the world, and I've learned. I've learned so much, and I've got to thank each and every one of them. And one in particular that I want to thank is Ric Flair. I want to thank Ric Flair for stepping in the ring with me tonight and giving me that chance.

I want to thank each and every one of my fans around the world for supporting me all these years. I want to thank all my friends that have backed me up through the thick and the thin. And most of all, I want to thank my family. They've been with me since the very beginning, since I was just a little baby. And most of all, I want to thank God above. God Almighty, thank you for the greatest moment of my entire life. I'm proud to be the WWF Champion.

Vince:
...and then from there, next week, for the Tag Team Championship, the #1 contenders, the Nasty Boys meeting the champions, the Natural Disasters.

Typhoon:
Next week, we find out who the real nasty boys are

Earthquake:
Nastisize who? Nasty Boys, your nastisizing days are numbered, and you're not getting these!

Jimmy Hart:
No! Uh-uh, Natural Disasters! You're not gonna be putting your World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship belts up against the Nasty Boys right here next week. You're gonna be putting them up against Money Inc., baby! That's right! Money Inc., right here next week!

Vince:
Oh my goodness, Jimmy Hart with the news! The Nasty Boys won't be happy with this one. Nonetheless, we will have our scheduled Tag Team Championship match-up!