'Weird Al' Yankovic: The Ultimate Video Collection

[intro to the Fat video]

Fat Man:
Yo, home boy, where'ya been, man? We've been looking for you.

Fat Man 2:
Yeah. We ain't seen you around Burger World lately! So where'ya been?

Al:
Oh, you know, around.

Fat Man 1:
Want a piece of pizza? Think I got an extra piece around here somewhere...

Al:
No, that's okay, really.

Fat Man 2:
Yo, Ding-Dong, man, Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong, yo!

Al:
No, thanks, really.

Fat Man 3:
[shoving a burger in Al's face] Yo, eat this, man. It's good for you.

Al:
I'm... not really very hungry right now...

Fat Man 1:
Hey, man, what it is with you? You on some kind of diet?

Fat Man 2:
Yeah! Is that what they teach you in that little sissy school of yours?

Al:
Back off me, man, back off!

Fat Man 1:
The question is, are you fat, or what?

Al:
Just leave me alone!

Fat Man 1:
I said are you fat?

Al:
Get off me, man! Stop it!

Fat Man 1:
You ain't down with us no more! You ain't fat! You ain't fat!

Al:
You ain't fat! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!

[Archive clip:
taken out of context to refer to nuclear missiles being launched at Christmas]

Ronald Reagan:
Well, the big day's only a few hours away now... I'm sure you're all looking forward to it as much as we are.

[clip from UHF (1989)]

Stanley Spadowski:
YOU get to drink from the FIRE HOSE!

Don Pardo:
That's right, Al, you lost! And let me tell you what you didn't win: a 25 volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of turtle wax, and a year supply of ricearoni, the San Francisco treat, but that's not all. You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people, and you brought shame and disgrace on your family name for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game. YOU'RE A COMPLETE LOSER!