A Bug's Life

Princess Atta:
You see Hopper, Nature has a certain order. The ants pick the food, the ants eat the food, and the grasshoppers leave.

Queen:
It's the same every year, they come, they eat, they leave; that's our lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's our life.

Flick:
You've got to help me, I'm desperate.

Slim:
Really, I couldn't tell.

Slim:
Ladies, Gentlemen, and larvae of all stages...

Mr. Soil:
Do not panic, do not panic. We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf.

Mr. Soil:
Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of '93.

Fly:
Waiter, I'm in my soup.

Hopper:
First rule of leadership: everything is your fault

Heimlich:
I am flying. And from way up here you all look like little ants.

Francis:
Shoo, fly. Don't bother me.

Hopper:
I swear, if I hadn't Mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I would kill you.

Molt:
And believe me, nobody appreciates that more than I do.

Gypsy:
Manny, we're on.

Manny:
Yet again it is up to me to rescue the performance.

Gypsy:
The stage is the other way dear.

Manny:
Yes of course.

Queen:
Why didn't I think of that? Oh, because it's suicide.

Slim:
That's no way to speak to a lady.

Francis:
I heard that, you twig.

Francis:
SO. Bein' a ladybug automatically makes me a girl. Is that it, fly boy?

Slim:
Tra-la-la-la-la. Spring is in the air, and I am a flower with nothing interesting to say.

Slim:
I can't go out there. They'll only laugh at me.

P.T. Flea:
That's because you're a clown.

Slim:
No, it's because I'm a prop. You always cast me as the broom, the pole, the stick, a SPLINTER.

P.T. Flea:
You're a walking stick. It's funny. Now go.

Slim:
You parasite.

Fly:
I have only twenty-four hours to live, and I ain't gonna waste it here.

Flik:
I just wanted to help.

Mr. Soil:
Then help us; DON'T help us.

Dot:
Pretend it's a seed, okay?

Flick:
Thanks, Dot.

Francis:
What's with the rock?

Slim:
Must be an ant thing.

Hopper:
Where do you get the gall to do this to me?

Flick:
You were going to squish the queen.

Dot:
It's true.

Hopper:
I hate it when they give away the ending.

Hopper:
Let that be a lesson to all you ants. Ideas are very dangerous things. You are mindless, soil-shoving losers, put on this Earth to serve us.

Flick:
You're wrong, Hopper. Ants were not meant to serve grasshoppers. I have see these ants do amazing things, and every year they manage to pick enough food for themselves and you. So who is the weaker species? Ants don't serve grasshoppers. It's you who need us. We are a lot stronger than you say we are... And you know it, don't you?

Flick:
For the colony, and for oppressed ants everywhere!

Manny:
Now you listen to me. I have made a career out of being a failure, and you, sir, are not a failure.

Rosie:
So that's how my second husband died. Now I'm a widow. Well, I've always been a black widow, so now I'm a black widow widow.

Manny:
Using my powers of psychic perception, I will choose a volunteer from the audience.

Molt:
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Pick me! C'mon, I'm asking you with my brain.

Slim:
Francis, you're making the maggots cry.

Rosie:
Wow. Look at the beautiful colors of... the blood.

P.T.:
We're losin' the audience! You clowns get out there now!

Heimlich:
I hate performing on an empty stomach!

P.T.:
Do your act, Heimlich, then you can eat.

Slim:
P.T., what's the point?

P.T.:
Not now, Slim.

Slim:
What's the point of going out there? They'll only laugh at me.

P.T.:
That's because you're a clown!

Slim:
No. It's because I'm a PROP! You always cast me as the broom! The pole! The stick! A splinter!

P.T.:
You're a walking stick! It's funny! NOW, GO!

Slim:
You parasite.

Fly 1:
[to Francis] Hey, cutie! Wanna pollinate with a real bug? [laughs]

[Francis flies up to the pair of flies and throws his hat off]

Francis:
So, bein' a ladybug automatically makes me a girl! Is that it, flyboy?! Huh?!

Fly 2:
Yikes!

Fly 1:
She's a guy!

Heimlich:
Francis, leave them alone! They are poo-poo heads!

P.T.:
Not again!

Francis:
Judging by your breath, you must've been buzzin' around a dung heap all day!

Slim:
Come on, Francis. You're making the maggots cry.

Hopper:
So, where is it? Where's my FOOD?!

Atta:
I-Isn't it up there?

Hopper:
What?

Atta:
The food was sitting in a leaf on top--

Hopper:
Excuse me.

Atta:
Are you sure it's not up there?

Hopper:
Are you saying I'm stupid?

Atta:
No.

Hopper:
Do I look stupid... to you? Let's just think about the logic, shall we? Let's just think about it for a second. If it was up there, would I be coming down here, to your level, looking for it?! Why am I even talking to you? You're not the queen. You don't smell like the queen.

Queen:
She's learning to take over for me, Hopper.

Hopper:
Oh, I see! Under new management. So it's your fault.

Atta:
No, it wasn't me, it was--

Hopper:
Uh-uh-uh. First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.

Atta:
But-But-I--

Hopper:
It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, Princess, one of those circle-of-life kind of things. Now, let me tell you how things are supposed to work. The sun grows the food, the ants pick the food, the grasshoppers eat the food--

Molt:
And the birds eat the grasshoppers. Hey, like the one that nearly ate you, you 'member? Oh, you shoulda seen it. This blue jay has him halfway down his throat, and Hopper's kickin' and screamin' And I'm scared. I'm not goin' anywhere near, okay? [Hopper approaches Molt] Aw, come on. It's a great story. [Hopper grabs his antennae] Ow! Ow! Ow!

Hopper:
[pushes him against a wall] I swear, if I hadn't promised Mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I would kill you!

Molt:
And believe me, no one appreciates that more than I do.

Hopper:
Shut up! I don't want to hear another word out of you while we're on this island. Do you understand me? [Molt whimpers] I said, do you understand me?!

Molt:
Well, how can I answer? You said I couldn't say another word. [Hopper enraged is about to punch him] Ah! Remember Ma!

Hopper:
[turns and punches another grasshopper; calms down becoming reasonable] Hey, I'm a compassionate insect. There's still a few months till the rains come, so you can all just try again.

Queen:
But, Hopper, since it's almost the rainy season, we need this time to gather food for ourselves.

Hopper:
Listen, if you don't keep your end of the bargain, then I can't guarantee your safety. And there are insects out there that will take advantage of you. Someone could get hurt. [snaps his fingers and calls out Thumper who scares Dot so she runs away but is caught by Hopper] What's the matter? You scared of grasshoppers?

Flik:
Dot!

Hopper:
[Hopper picks her up and brings her closer to Thumper] You don't like Thumper? [he brings her up face to face with Thumper and he snarls and growls]

Flik:
[Steps forward] Leave her alone!

Hopper:
[Turns to Flik] You want her? [Holds Dot above Flik] Go ahead. Take her. [Flik stands down in fear] No? Then get back in line. [Flik goes back in line] It seems to me that you ants are forgetting your place. So let's double the order of food.

Atta:
No! But-But--

Hopper:
We'll be back at the end of the season, when the last leaf falls. [pulls a skin flake off Molt and lets it slowly drop like a leaf] You ants have a nice summer. Let's ride!

[The grasshoppers all fly away and the entire colony stares at Flik, who chuckles nervously]

Hopper:
Guys, order another round, because we're stayin' here!

[the other grasshoppers cheer]

Hopper:
What was I thinking? Going back to Ant Island. I mean, we just got here, and we have more than enough food to get us through the winter. Right? Why go back?

[the music continues and the rest of the gang begins to party again]

Hopper:
But there was that ant that stood up to me.

Axel:
Yeah, but we can forget about him!

Loco:
Yeah, it was just one ant.

[the rest of the gang agrees, mocking the ants]

Hopper:
Yeah, you're right! It's just one ant!

Loco:
Yeah, boss. They're puny!

Hopper:
Hmm, puny. Say, let's pretend this grain is a puny little ant. [throws the grain at Loco] Didn't that hurt?

Loco:
Nope.

Hopper:
Well, how 'bout this one? [throws another grain at Axel]

Axel:
Are you kiddin'?

[the other grasshoppers laugh]

Hopper:
Well, how 'bout this?

[he pulls the lid off the jar of grain and Axel and Loco are buried beneath the avalanche; Hopper then climbs on top of the grain pile]

Hopper:
You let one ant stand up to us, then they all might stand up. Those puny little ants outnumber us 100 to one. And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life! It's not about food. It's about keeping those ants in line. That's why we're going back! Does anybody else wanna stay?

[the grasshoppers are all set]

Molt:
He's quite the motivational speaker, isn't he?

Hopper:
Let's ride!

[the grasshoppers fly off to Ant Island]

Slim:
Ladies and gentlebugs! Larvae of all stages! Rub your legs together for the world's greatest bug circus!

[the circus wagon arrives with the circus music playing]

Hopper:
WAIT A MINUTE! [music screeches to a halt]

Heimlich:
[nervously] I think I'm going to wet myself!

Francis:
[out of the corner of his mouth] Steady...

Hopper:
What's going on here?

Atta:
Well, uh...

Slim:
Uh, yes. We were invited by Princess Atta as a surprise for your arrival.

Hopper:
Squish 'em.

[Slim and Francis gasp; the grasshoppers advance on the circus bugs; Dim backs into the cannon launching Tuck and Roll out of it; they dance in front of the grasshoppers, singing their usual gibberish, then get into a fight]

Hopper:
Now, that's funny.

[the other grasshoppers sit back in their seats laughing hysterically]

Hopper:
I guess we could use a little entertainment. Looks like you did something right for once, Princess.

Atta:
The ants PICK the food, the ant EAT the food and the grasshoppers LEAVE!

Fly:
Hey, waiter! I'm in my soup! I've been workin' out. Feel my wing. Yo! Two Black Flags over here! All right.

Bug:
Hair of the dog you bit.

Cockroach Waitress:
[in the bar] Hey, who ordered the Poo Poo Platter? [a bunch of flies swarm the dish she holds in the air]

Mosquito Waitress:
Here you go, Slick. Enjoy.

Slick:
[takes one bite and his mouth starts to bubble] Ow! Ow! Hey, I said no salt!

Flik:
Oh, pardon me, sir. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment. I represent a colony of ants, and I'm looking... I'm looking for tough bugs, you know, mean bugs, the sort of bugs...

Slim:
Fired by a flea, how humiliating!

Francis:
Let's face it. We stink.

Princess Atta:
Oh... Wind's died down. They'll be here soon.

Queen:
Just be confident, dear. You'll be fine.

Princess Atta:
Ah! There's a gap. There's a gap in the line! What are we gonna do?!

Thorny:
It's okay, Your Highness. Gaps happen. We just lost a few inches, that's all.

Princess Atta:
Oh, right. [Quietly hovers over Thorny's shoulder]

Thorny:
Your Highness, I can't count when you hover like that.

Princess Atta:
Oh, of course. I'm sorry. [chuckles] Go ahead.

Queen:
Guys, go shade someone else for a while. Okay, Atta. Now what do we do?

Princess Atta:
Oh! Don't tell me. I know it. I know it. What is it?

Queen:
We relax!

Princess Atta:
Right.

Queen:
Oh, it'll be fine. It's the same, year after year. They come, they eat, they leave. That's our lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's our life. [laughs] Isn't that right, Aphie? Oh, you're such a cute little aphid. [As she sets Aphie down, the 2 ant boys pop out of a hole in the ground]

Reed:
Ditch Dot!

Grub:
Yeah, yeah!

Dot:
Hey, come back here! [Tries to hover after the boys, but drops to the ground]

Queen:
Dot!

Dot:
Yes, Mother.

Queen:
What did I tell you about trying to fly?

Dot:
Not until my wings grow in.

Queen:
Right.

Dot:
But, Mom...

Princess Atta:
Dot, you're a young queen ant, and your wings are too little to be...

Dot:
I was talking to Mother! You're not the queen yet, Atta!

Queen:
Now, Dot, be nice to your sister.

Dot:
It's not my fault she's so stressed out.

Princess Atta:
[sighs] I know, I know. [sighs] I'm always acting like the sky is falling. [A huge stalk of grain falls on top of her]

Dr. Flora:
Hey! Stop that!

Mr. Soil:
What do you think you're doing?!

Dr. Flora:
You could have killed somebody over here!

Flik:
[Looks up and gasps, running over] I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Thorny:
[Annoyed] Oh, it's Flik.

[Cornelius groans]

Flik:
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I'm sorry! [The council members lift the stalk, freeing Atta] Princess Atta!

Princess Atta:
Flik, what are you doing?

Flik:
Oh... Oh, this? This is my new idea for harvesting grain! No more picking individual kernels! You can just cut down the entire stalk!

Princess Atta:
Flik, we don't have time for this.

Flik:
Exactly! We never have time to collect food for ourselves, because we spend all summer harvesting for the offering. But my invention will speed up production.

Princess Atta:
[groans] Another invention?

Flik:
Yeah, and I've got something for you, too. [Picks up a blade of grass and folds it into a cone]

Princess Atta:
[sighs] Flik!

Flik:
Since you're gonna be queen soon, you could use this to oversee production. [Borrows a dewdrop from Dr. Flora] Dr. Flora, if I may.

Dr. Flora:
[gasps] Oh!

Princess Atta:
This is all very nice, but...

Thorny:
What?

Flik:
Just an ordinary blade of grass and a bead of dew, right?

Princess Atta:
Flik, please.

Flik:
Wrong! It is, in fact... [Drops the dewdrop in the middle of the blade] A telescope!

[Dot and Queen laugh]

Princess Atta:
It's very clever, Flik, but...

[Flik peers at Atta through the telescope]

Flik:
Hello, princess! My, aren't you looking lovely this morning! Not, of course, that you would need a telescope to see that...

Thorny:
All right, listen! The princess doesn't have time for this! You want to help us fill this thing?! Then get rid of that machine, get back in line and pick grain like everybody else!

Cornelius:
Like everybody else!

Princess Atta:
Please, Flik. Just go.

Flik:
I'm sorry. I was... I was really just trying... Trying to help.

Cornelius:
Harvester. Why, we've harvested the same way ever since I was a pupa.

Flik:
[suavely] Hey, don't worry! The colony is in good hands! Bye, now.

[An ants cheering]

Flik:
[breathes in] All right. Hey, fellas. Beautiful morning, huh?

Grub:
[Sliding down a clover. Reed follows] My dad says he gives you one hour before you come back to the island crying.

Flik:
Does he now?

Reed:
My dad doesn't think that.

Flik:
He doesn't, huh?

Reed:
Nah, he's betting you're gonna die.

Flik:
Oh.

Reed:
Yeah, he says if the heat doesn't get you, the birds will.

Dot:
Well, I think he's gonna make it.

Reed:
Nobody asked you, Your Royal Shortness.

Grub:
Yeah, Dot. What do you know?

Flik:
Hey, hey, hey. Ease up, all right? Come on. She's entitled to her opinion, too. Ohh...

Grub:
So go, already. Hey!

Reed:
The city's that way!

Flik:
I know.

Reed:
You're supposed to look for bugs, not dandelions!

Dot:
You leave him alone. He knows what he's doing.

Flik:
That's right! Here I go! For the colony and for oppressed ants everywhere! Whoa...

Dot:
Wow!

Flik:
Hey!

Dot:
Bye, Flik!

Flik:
Wow. Whoa!

Dot:
Good luck, Flik!

Flik:
Bye! [pained grunt]

Dot:
Flik!

Flik:
[muffled] I'm okay!

Reed:
Your dad's right. He's gonna die.

Dot:
You just watch. He's gonna get the bestest, roughest bugs you've ever seen!

[Dim roaring]

Rosie:
Get back! Get back! Get back, you horrible beast! I have no fear!

Dim:
Oh! [whimpers]

Rosie:
Oh, no.

[Dim crying, the other flies booing]

Rosie:
Oh, I'm so sorry, Dim. An owie?

Dim:
Owie! Owie, owie! [sobs]

Rosie:
Okay, show Rosie the owie. All right, Dim. It's okay.

Flik:
[has just realized the "warrior bugs" are from the circus] Your Highness! The warriors have called a secret meeting to make plans for circus, uh, circumventing the oncoming horde, so they can trapeze - trap them with ease!

Princess Atta:
Well, shouldn't I come, too?

Flik:
No! Ha ha ha! Sorry. No, no, see it's classified in the DMZ, gotta go ASAP, you know, strictly BYOB. Bye!

Princess Atta:
You don't think I've offended the warriors, do you?

Flik:
You? No!

Princess Atta:
Oh, good. Because, you see, when you first brought them here, I'd thought you'd hired a bunch of clowns!

Flik:
[voice suddenly higher] You did?

[laughs nervously]

Flik:
Princess, you're doing a great job.

Princess Atta:
Thanks. You're sweet. You're wrong, but sweet. I know what everyone really thinks.

Flik:
I don't follow.

Princess Atta:
Everyone, the whole colony. Nobody really believes I can do this job. It's like they're all watching me. Just... just...

Flik:
Waiting for you to screw up.

Princess Atta:
Flik, I owe you an apology.

Flik:
For what?

Princess Atta:
Well, I haven't been that nice to you, and I'm sorry. If there's any way I can make it up to you... Hey! I know! How would you like to be the queen's official aide to the warrior bugs?

Flik:
Me?

Princess Atta:
Oh, sure. You've got a great rapport going with them, especially after that rescue. It was very brave.

[during the rain, Hopper lands in front of Flik]

Flik:
[gasps] Hopper!

Hopper:
You think it's over?!

Flik:
[backs up to the bird's nest] No, no, no. No, I can explain.

Hopper:
All your little stunt did was buy them time!

Flik:
No, please! Please, Hopper!

Hopper:
[starts choking Flik] I'll get more grasshoppers and be back next season, but you won't! [a bird pops up; Hopper looks up] Well, what's this? Another one of your little bird tricks?

Flik:
[smiles] Yep!

Hopper:
Are there a bunch of little girls in this one, too? Hello, girls!

[The bird roars, Hopper screams and drops Flik. He tries to run away, but the bird blocks him, picks him up by his beak and flies mid-air above the nest where the chicks were hatched.]

Hopper:
[last words] No, no! No, no, no! [screams] No! OH, NOOOOOOOO!!! OH, NO, NO, NO!

[Hopper into chick's mouth and screams. The camera zooms with the chicks, resulting in a pool of blood and gore]

P.T. Flea:
Hey, let's go. We got a schedule to keep. Come on. Let's go.

[A number of ants cartwheel into the wagon]

Celebrating Ants:
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hey!

P.T. Flea:
Hey, Tiny! Let's get this show packed up! We got paying customers hatching!

[Molt carries supplies into the wagon]

Molt:
Yes, Mr. Flea. Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Right away, sir. And, um, I just wanted to thank you for giving me a chance, because it's an honor to work with creative giants such as yourself.

[P.T. Flea motions the fireflies to close the wagon door]

Molt:
[last words] Shutting up.

[P.T. Flea jumps on top of the wagon]

P.T. Flea:
You sure you can't come on tour with us?

Flik:
Sorry. My place is here.

Princess Atta:
[quietly] Good answer.

P.T. Flea:
Oh, well. Your loss. One minute, insects!

[Flik and Atta walk over to the circus troupe]

Princess Atta:
I want to thank all of you for giving us back our hope, our dignity... and our lives.

Slim:
And to you, Princess Atta. You have given us so much. Please accept this gift from us bugs to you ants.

[Manny twirls a leaf and produces a large rock, handing it to Atta]

Manny:
For you!

Princess Atta:
Oh! [chuckles] It's a rock.

[Manny, Slim and Francis congratulate each other]

Cornelius:
What's with the rock?

Thorny:
Must be a circus thing.

[Dot giggles]

Rosie:
Well, Flik, you really goofed up. [quavering] Thanks.

Flik:
[quavering] Yeah. You, too.

[Rosie begins to clap for Flik, followed by the rest of the troupe and the entire ant colony. Atta kisses Flik on the cheek. The queen removes Atta's tiara and gives her own crown to her. Atta tosses her tiara to Dot who flies up and catches it on her head. Dot giggles]

P.T. Flea:
[sniffles] All right. Now it's getting mushy. We're out of here!

Grub:
Whoa!

Rosie:
See you next season!

Slim:
See you, Flik!

Gypsy:
Bye! We miss you already!

Tuck:
You fired!

Roll:
You fired!

Slim:
[gasps] We forgot Heimlich!

[A chrysalis hangs on a nearby tree root. It opens to reveal Heimlich's face]

Heimlich:
I'm finished! Finally, I'm a beautiful butterfly!

[Heimlich struggles and slides out of the chrysalis, looking largely the same as before but now a green and blue color and with two bulges on his back. Heimlich grunts. Two tiny butterfly wings pop out of the bulges]

Heimlich:
Mein wings! Oh, they're beautiful!

Flik:
Heimlich! The wagon's taking off! You better start flying!

[Flik and other ants lift up Heimlich]

Heimlich:
But I am flying! And from way up here, you all look like little ants!

[Francis and Manny fly down and carry Heimlich away.]

Heimlich:
Auf Wiedersehen!

Flik:
Bye!

Hopper:
Listen, if you don't keep your end of the bargain, then I can't guarantee your safety! And there are insects out there that will take advantage of you! Someone could get hurt.

Hopper:
Guys, order another round, because we're staying here! What was I thinking? Going back to Ant Island. I mean, we just got here, and we have more than enough food to get us through the winter. Right? Why go back?

Hopper:
YOU LITTLE TERMITES! I GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, AND THIS IS ALL I GET?!

Hopper:
HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING ALL SUMMER?! YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?! [Princess Atta: No, no! Please!] WELL, GUESS WHAT... you just lost. NOT ONE ANT SLEEPS UNTIL WE GET EVERY SCRAP OF FOOD ON THIS ISLAND!!!