A Very Brady Sequel

Carol Brady:
Thank goodness I use AquaNet!

Carol:
I wish I could be gay again.

Alice:
That Sam is so thoughtful. He promised to slip me a special tube steak.

[stepping out of the refrigerator]

Alice:
How about that! The light really does go off when you close the door!

Cindy Brady:
You can't take my mommy!

Marcia Brady:
Cindy's right! Take Jan!

Marcia:
I'll go first because I'm the prettiest.

Marcia:
He even wrote something in my yearbook in French! "Menage A Trois." I bet that means "You're the most."

Marcia:
Get with the times, Greg. There's a new thing called Women's Lib. It means women get what they want.

Roy Martin:
You can't believe her. Look at the hair, the clothes, the constant cheerfulness.

Marcia Brady:
I'm so happy for you, Jan.

Jan Brady:
Really, Marcia?

Marcia Brady:
No.

[Jan looks disappointed]

Marcia Brady:
Jan, of course I am!

[Asked where Marcia is]

Cindy:
She's over there getting lei'd by those Hawaiian boys.

Roy:
Marcia. Oh, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. You have grown up to be so gorgeous!

Marcia:
I know.

Roy:
And Jan. My dear Jan. Isn't Marcia gorgeous?

Carol:
Careful, Mike. he's got a gun.

Roy:
I don't need a gun to take care of you. I am going to kick your Brady butt.

Cindy:
He said the "B" word.

[Talking about the music he likes]

Warren Mulaney:
Well, I'm really into hip hop.

Marcia:
Hip hop? Sounds like something a rabbit listens to.

Mike Brady:
A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. But when the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets.

Mike Brady:
Us Bradys have to stick together, or we'll fall apart. Much like that house of cards. You see, a deck consists of 52 cards, and if the hearts didn't work with the diamonds and the spades with the clubs, then how the heck would we ever play a game of Gin Rummy? So, in keeping with the spirit of togetherness, I'm sure you kids know the right thing to do.

Mike Brady:
You seem to be having quite an effect on Peter, Roy.

Roy Martin:
Well, it's like I always say: "Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came, I saw, I conquered".

Mike Brady:
Well, like I always say: "Caveat Emptor".

Roy Martin:
Doesn't that mean "Buyer Beware"?

Mike Brady:
Yes yes it does.

Peter Brady:
Dad, I think I hit him in the head with these. I'm sorry, Mr. Phillips.

Mike Brady:
Peter, drumsticks are not toys.

Peter Brady:
Oh, they're not drumsticks, Dad. They're weapons.

Mike Brady:
Well, weapons are not toys either, Peter.

Jan Brady:
His name is George.

Marcia Brady:
George what?

Jan Brady:
George, uhhh Tropicana!

Carol Brady:
Oh, that's nice. Is he Cuban?

Marcia:
[driving down a road in Hawaii] You know what's gross? Guys that don't wear bellbottoms. Yecch

[after Carol has fainted]

Mike Brady, Roy Martin:
Honey, are you all right? [they stare at each other]

Carol Brady:
[not surprised] I'm all right.

Marcia:
[brushing her hair and counting] One, two, three, four.

[noticing Greg undressing through the curtain]

Marcia:
Four, four, four.

Greg Brady:
Marcia?

Marcia:
[seductively] Yes, Greg?

[normal voice]

Marcia:
I mean, what?

Greg Brady:
If Roy really is Mom's husband, then does that mean.

Marcia:
We're not brother and sister?

Alice:
Oh, just the ones in your room. And, they sure look mighty tasty, too!

[Walks out]

Roy Martin:
[laughing] The ones from my room.

[Stops laughing]

Roy Martin:
My room? The one's from my. Oh no!

Carol Brady:
Roy, are you all right?

[the song "Good Morning Starshine" begins, and the flowers on Carol's dress animate and float around her face]

Carol Brady:
Roy, are you all right?

Roy Martin:
Oh God! I'm tripping with the Bradys!

Flight Attendant:
[to the Brady kids doing a song, intercom] May I have your attention, please. Would those of you dancing and singing in the aisles, please sit down and sit up!

[everyone on the plane applauds]

[all the Brady kids and Alice are tied together by a staircase from Roy Martin, who left and kidnapped mom, they all think in their heads]

Bobby Brady:
If I had been a better detective, I would've been on Mr. Martin sooner. This is all my fault.

Cindy Brady:
If I wasn't too busy looking for my doll, I would've seen something suspicious. This is all my fault.

Kitty Carry-all:
I bet he wouldn't have tied me up if I was Barbie. This is all my fault.

Peter Brady:
What a dumb-head I am. I guess Roy was not much of a hero after all. This is all my fault.

Alice:
I must've not put enough mushrooms in his spaghetti sauce. This is all my fault.

Greg Brady:
Marcia looks great in those ropes... Wait a minute, what am I saying? This is all my fault!

Jan Brady:
It was wrong to make up George Glass. This is all my fault!

Marcia:
This is all Jan's fault.