A Very Merry Cricket

Harry the Cat:
[Reading from a Christmas book] "Merry voices and lighthearted laughter rang out. Christmas was close at hand, in all his bluff and hearty honesty; it was the season of hospitality, merriment, and open-heartedness... Gay and merry was the time; and gay and merry were at least four of the numerous hearts that were gladdened by its coming... Happy, happy Christmas. I heard the bells on Christmas day; Their old, familiar carols play; And wild and sweet, the words repeat of Peace on Earth, good will to men."

Tucker the Mouse:
Peace on Earth? Goodwill to men? With all that goin' on out there? Hmpf!

Harry the Cat:
You know, Tucker, I think you may have a point there. Why don't you find something more appropriate?

Tucker the Mouse:
[Flipping through pages] Well, I'll tell you this much, Harry, nothing in this book could be *less* appropriate! [Stopping] Read on, McDuff.

Harry the Cat:
Ahem. "A Visit From Saint Nicolas"...

Tucker the Mouse:
Who he?

Harry the Cat:
...by Clarence Seymore.

Tucker the Mouse:
Also, who he?

Harry the Cat:
[Reading] "'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house..."

Tucker the Mouse:
Marvelous opening.

Harry the Cat:
"... not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

Tucker the Mouse:
Not even a what? *Why* a mouse do I to inquire? Why do people always pick on *mice* not to stir?

Harry the Cat:
Take it easy, Tucker! Humans are not to be mean to mice.

Tucker the Mouse:
Why not? They're mean to each other aren't they? And every Christmas they get *meaner*!