Astérix et les Vikings

Ob?lix:
[Obelix has just loaded an enormous stone into Justforkix's charriot as a going away present] You can keep on training with it back home, if you want. If you try to lift it every day, I'm sure you'll make it.

Justforkix:
Yeah... I don't think so. It's impossible.

Ob?lix:
How can you know it's impossible if you don't try?

Olaf:
[Abba was posing as a man to get onboard the viking longboat, but the vikings discovered her true identity. She has just made a lengthy speech to the all male crew about how women should have all the rights of men] Who is this new guy?

Timandahaf:
That's my daughter, cod brain!

Olaf:
Your daughter's a man?

Abba:
[Vikea has just given Timandahaf a "shopping" list of all the things she wants him to bring back from his raid. Abba walks in carrying a chest] Okay. Is it time to go, I'm all ready!

Timandahaf:
Abba, I've told you a hundred times, this is not a pleasure cruise, it's a business trip!

Abba:
Daddy, please... pretty please? Let me come with you just this once and then I'll never bother you again, I promise.

Timandahaf:
Well... eh... Absolutly not! No women and no children on board!

[Abba keeps trying to get a word in]

Timandahaf:
Don't argue! I have spoken! By Thor and Odin put together!

[Abba is clearly getting mad]

Timandahaf:
And don't you go bezerk on me, young lady!

[Abba kicks down a shelf in frustration, which in turn knocks down the other shelves, destroying all the family's mugs and plates]

Vikea:
I'll make you another list.

[the pair are in a line to get into the Viking party; Obelix is laughing at the Viking names being read off the roster]

Ob?lix:
[laughing] Asterix! All their names end in "af"!

Ast?rix:
[the Viking bellhop looks at them suspiciously] Uh... actually, my name is, uh, Asteraf, Obelaf!

Ob?lix:
[doubled over, laughing] Ob-Obelaf!

[Abba has been told she's going to marry Olaf; the Vikings are dragging her and Justforkix away from each other]

Abba:
Justforkix! No!

Justforkix:
Abba! Don't worry, Abba, I'll take care of this - [tries to sound important] As the Champion of F...

Justforkix:
[gets hit on the head with a club]

Justforkix:
So, uh, when are you gonna talk to your father about setting me free?

Abba:
As soon as you teach me to fly!

Justforkix:
Uh... yeah, about that. I was just... wondering... what's your policy on people who... promise something and then can't... deliver on it?

Abba:
Oh, you mean a liar? Look up there. [Gestures with her head]

[Justforkix looks up and sees a skeleton imbedded in the ice, an axe in it's skull]

Justforkix:
Aaah! What is *that?*

Abba:
The last guy who lied to me. Daddy took care of him.

Justforkix:
S-so how about three o'clock Tuesday for your first flying lesson? [laughs nervously]

[Justforkix is tied to the mast on the Viking ship - he has just been reunited with SMS, who has flown to him from Gaul]

Abba:
Hey! Cool bird! It's yours, right?

Justforkix:
Uh... yeah, it's... it's mine alright.

Abba:
Are you the Champion?

Justforkix:
[trying to sound important] My name is Justforkix. Who are you?

Abba:
Oh, yeah, sorry - I'm Abba.

Justforkix:
Can - can you help me?

Abba:
Yeah, if I can.

[Abba sees that he's shivering - she takes off her coat, revealing her skimpy Vikingette dress beneath]

Justforkix:
Wow!

Justforkix:
[Abba wraps the coat around him] Thanks - yeah, that's nice. [Continues to shiver]

Abba:
Are you cold?

Justforkix:
N-no... I'm not cold. I'm... I'm... afraid.

Abba:
[gasps] You are so *lucky*!

Justforkix:
Lucky?

Abba:
To be able to fly!

Justforkix:
*Fly*?

Abba:
Oh, I'd love to be able to fly up in the sky, and then soar higher and higher right up to the sun!

Justforkix:
Uh...

Abba:
Oh, please, teach me? Tell me your secrets?

Justforkix:
Uh... if you help me get home, I'll, uh, give it a try...

Timandahaf:
What is this? [to Abba] I've told you a hundred times, not to talk to strangers!

Justforkix:
S-s-sorry!

Timandahaf:
Not *you*! *Her!*

Abba:
Gee, Dad, thanks for embarrassing me in front of the hostage!

[Justforkix sees Asterix and Obelix after an intense and - to him - frightening 3 days of training]

Justforkix:
No! Please! [Hides behind Impedimenta] Do *not* leave me alone with them!

Abraracourcix:
[to Asterix and Obelix] Ooh, is THAT what you call "fantastic", "great" progress? I gave you a mission to make a man of him!

[Asterix and Obelix look ashamed]

Justforkix:
Uh, nobody asked *me* if I *wanted* to be a man!

[Abba, her wrists bound, is being dragged to the altar to be married to Olaf]

Vikea:
It reminds me of my wedding day.

Timandahaf:
You nearly bit off my finger before we gagged you.

Timandahaf, Vikea:
Good times!

[watching Abba and Justforkix glide off towards the horizon]

Asterix:
You see, Obelix, it's not fear that gives you wings - it's love.

Getafix:
Getafix, what is the use of fear?

Getafix:
Fear is what makes us brave. Real courage is when you overcome your fear.