Beware the Gonzo

[first lines]

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
In the past week, I blew my chance to go to college, I lost all my friends, and I almost ruined my parents' marriage. The one girl I ever cared about will probably never talk to me again. And I... I also got my face kicked in, but... after everything I've done, I probably got off easy.

Gavin Reilly:
Due to last year's brawl at McDonald's, nobody is allowed off school grounds for lunch, not even the seniors.

Gavin Reilly:
Well, you're probably gonna want photos with that, so meet me in the gym after school. I'll let you shoot me in my togs.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
Gonzo Gilman with The Courier. What're your hopes and fears for the new year?

Ryan:
I hoped that you'd get out of my face and, uh... I fear that you will not.

Scott Marshall Schneeman:
That is the last time I wear underwear to school.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. "Die on my feet, live on my knees." Hey, that's pretty good. Did I just make that up?

Ming Na:
Well, nobody even thinks I can speak English, so they blab their whole lives in front of me, like I'm not even frickin' there. Some of these girls you wouldn't believe. They act like they're so perfect, but I see every single flaw - ridiculous clothes and hideous hair - and they're just awful, terrible people. Spoiled two-faced backstabbers - those godless whores. It's all I can do not to vomit or scream in their faces. I just wanna, like, rip out their hair. Sometimes I take pictures of them with my cameraphone. It's my dream of showing the world the truth. I'd be funny to see them cry tears.

Evie Wallace:
Gavin Riley is an evil son-of-a-b*tch, and anything that will knock him down a peg - or even annoy him a little bit - I'd like to be a part of.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
Grab a seat.

Horny Rob Becker:
Most people only see a block of stone. The artist sees the statue trapped inside.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
[hanging a provocative flier] If this school's an ass, that's my foot.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
The double-thumbed gonzo fist, Hunter S. Thompson, and it really grabs the eye by the balls of the throat.

Evie Wallace:
Say "I'm a nasty little liar and I deserved to be spanked." Say it.

Horny Rob Becker:
I think tonight it's finally going down.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
What?

Horny Rob Becker:
Every man's fantasy. You know, what the French call eating for three.

Marlene:
Robbie...

Large Girl Student:
Robbie...

Horny Rob Becker:
All right, ladies.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
Sweet Jesus, no.

Horny Rob Becker:
Oh, yes. I'm pretty nervous, you know, because it's my first time, but... I've put my camera in there. I set it up; so, I'm just gonna film myself doing it, and I can watch it later and see how I did.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman:
What fresh hell is this?

Horny Rob Becker:
Push play and you will see me communicating with God, with my body.