Blunt Talk

Harry Chandler:
I'm unable to enjoy sex. At the moment of congress, I experience shame and anticipate punishment.

Walter Blunt:
What would I do without you, Harry?

Harry Chandler:
What would I do without YOU, Major?

Teddy:
I just hope someone sees what I have up here; my noodle and my wantons.

Teddy:
I mean it's a sickness, but I've been better the last three weeks. I mean I still ride the bus when I don't have to, but I wear my underwear everytime. So, Thanks for letting me share.

Teddy:
Ed Begley is black ! Who knew - Oscar Wilde

Harry Chandler:
To be honest I find this label; sexual addiction, to be shaming. When it comes to desire, Desire! What you call acting out; it would be wise to remind ourselves of how Elizabeth Taylor lived, and what Oscar Wilde said; the only way to get rid of temptation is to Yeild to it!

Rosalie Winter:
Don?t give up on men. They have a wonderful stink. They carry luggage. And when you have a firm cock in your hand, all the sh*t they put you through feels worth it.

Harry Chandler:
I can't believe this is happening again.

Sylvia:
Well, in my business most of the guys are creeps and you were the nicest guy I've met in a long time.

Harry Chandler:
Oh, Sylvia...

Sylvia:
Also, I'm a size queen.

Ronnie:
I was a Boy Scout if you can believe it. I got my first badge in tossing salad.

Harry Chandler:
You'd better get down from there, you're surrounded

Walter Blunt:
It's the Falklands all over again Harry, by land, by sea!

Police Officer:
Mr. Blunt, get down from the car.

Walter Blunt:
I don't feel well, Harry. I ate some chocolate marijuana and it's starting to kick in. My feet are vibrating and my thoughts are odd.

Harry Chandler:
I have told you edibles are dangerous, Major. You have to think of them as time release vitamins. Take very little.

Walter Blunt:
O Gertrude, Gertrude, when sorrows come they come not single spies but in battalions.

Police Officer:
Mr. Blunt!

Harry Chandler:
This is not the audience for Hamlet, major.

Walter Blunt:
It's not?

Walter Blunt:
[after Gisele tells Walter she's transsexual] Does that mean you have an intact penis?

Gisele:
Why don't we just say I have a nine-inch clit. Does that bother you?

Walter Blunt:
No! I'm English.

Mr. Adler:
According to German environmental scientists - the Germans are the best; they're still making up for the Holocaust - global warming is causing the planet to rotate more quickly.

Walter Blunt:
Sorry, but I'm un-bumping the Zero Impact family. Their message is too important and they're delightful.

Walter Blunt:
Harry! I had another dream about a Burt Lancaster movie. This time he was swimming and then he had a cocktail. What do you think that means?

Harry Chandler:
Well, supposedly, sir, everyone we dream about is really us, so Burt Lancaster is actually you, Major.

Walter Blunt:
Ooh, I like that. So there must be some kind of symbolism at play.

Harry Chandler:
Yes. In the last one he was flying and in this one he was swimming. I think it means you're getting somewhere, sir. But where you're going I'm not sure.

Walter Blunt:
[to his son Bertie] Now, next Friday evening, all as part of your training, I am going to show you Akira Kurosawa's "Seven Samurai." [to Harry] And maybe even Rashomon.

Harry Chandler:
I'm not sure the lad is ready for post-war Japanese cinema, Major.