Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (and Don't Come Back!!)

British ticket agent:
Passport, please.

Charlie Brown:
Y-Yes, sir. We're just passing through. We're on our way to France, sir. I have nothing to declare, sir. I throw myself at the mercy of the court!

Linus:
We've only been two minutes and already he's embarrassing us.

Charlie Brown:
Good bye, everybody! Take care of the old ball field, Schroeder, I'm going to miss it.

Sally:
The last time you went away, big brother, your team won three games in a row.

Peppermint Patty:
[Charlie Brown nibbles a bit on his eraser] Don't chew on your eraser, Chuck. It bugs me.

[Charlie Brown drums his fingers on the desk]

Peppermint Patty:
Stop drumming your fingers on the desk, Chuck. That grosses me out.

[Charlie Brown sighs]

Peppermint Patty:
And don't hassle me with your sighs, Chuck.

[Charlie Brown breathes through his mouth and licks his fingers while turning a page]

Peppermint Patty:
Don't breathe through your mouth, Chuck. Don't lick your fingers when you turn the pages, Chuck.

[Charlie Brown is starting to get angry]

Peppermint Patty:
And don't scrap your feet on the desk.

Charlie Brown:
[shouting - finally had enough - his shouting knocks Peppermint Patty off her seat] WILL YOU STOP CRITICIZING ME?

Teacher:
How many times does 25 go into 75?

Peppermint Patty:
I'm awake! I'm awake! The answer is 12!

Teacher:
No, that is not correct.

Peppermint Patty:
The answer is 6!

Charlie Brown:
3!

Teacher:
3 is correct.

Peppermint Patty:
You contradicted me, Chuck! You made a fool out of me in front of the whole class.

Charlie Brown:
Well 6 was the wrong answer. I had to say 3.

Peppermint Patty:
You don't like me do you, Chuck?

Peppermint Patty:
False! Why did you put down false, Chuck? The answer is true, Chuck! What's true is true! Put down true, Chuck, or I'll never speak to you again.

Teacher:
Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
Ma'am?

Teacher:
Is your partner giving you the answers?

Charlie Brown:
Oh no, ma'am. She's not giving me the answers. Forcing, maybe, but not giving.

Peppermint Patty:
If you know an answer, Chuck, and I don't, you tell me what it is. If I know an answer and you don't, I'll tell you what it is.

Charlie Brown:
What happens if neither of us knows the answer?

Peppermint Patty:
We'll punt!

Peppermint Patty:
[in-flight meals are served] Hey, Marcie, this is real nice!

Marcie:
It's a whole lot better than peanut butter sandwiches, sir.

Peppermint Patty:
What do you think they'll feed us in France?

Marcie:
Probably peanut butter on French bread, sir.

Peppermint Patty:
[Everybody in the car is eating sandwiches except for Charlie Brown, whose share of the loaf of bread got slammed into the hood of the car] Boy, Chuck, this is great. That was real generous of you to feed your share to the car.

[Snoopy and Woodstock snicker]

Peppermint Patty:
Notice how well the car is running since you gave it some bread?

[Everybody breaks out laughing]

Charlie Brown:
I'm worried about the Baron. Pierre said that he was a very mean man.

Charlie Brown:
I don't have any idea what you're talking about, all I know is we had a terrible time. There was no one there to meet us, we got caught in the rain, the lightning scared us half to death, and we spent the night sleeping at the stable at the chateau.

[after Charlie Brown knocked down Peppermint Patty from being critized by her during a class, he and Peppermint Patty sits in the detention room]

Peppermint Patty:
Another fine mess you've got me in to, Chuck.

The Baron:
Au secours! Au secours! Au secours! Au secours! Au secours! Ma petite Violette! Oh!

[Charlie Brown & Co. are at an English restaurant, waited upon by a waiter with a thick Cockney accent]

Waiter:
All right Guv'nor, you ready to order?

Charlie Brown:
Can you help us with the menu?

Waiter:
For the gentlemen, I recommend the beef & kidney pie. The shepherds pie's rather nice for the ladies. A cheddar & pickle sandwich is rather toppo. What'll be your pleasure, mate?

Charlie Brown:
What is...

[to Marcie]

Charlie Brown:
What did he say?

Marcie:
Perhaps I should have studied *English*, not French.

Linus:
[Violette runs and accidentally knocks the candle, setting the chateau on fire] Aaugh!

[Linus grabs Violette and runs to the window]

Linus:
Help! Help, help! Help! Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help, please! Help, help, help! Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Help, help!

[Charlie Brown wakes up]

Linus:
Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Fire! Charlie Brown! Help, help! Fire!

Charlie Brown:
Help! Help!

Linus:
Help! Help!

The Baron:
Au secours! Au secours!

Charlie Brown:
[Charlie runs] Fire! Help! Fire!

The Baron:
Au secours! Au secours!

Charlie Brown:
Fire, help! Fire! Help! Help! Fire!

[runs to the cafe for Snoopy and Woodstock]

Charlie Brown:
Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help! Fire!

[Snoopy and Woodstock opens the door]

Charlie Brown:
The chateau! Fire, help! Help! Help!

[heads to Pierre's house as Snoopy and Woodstock runs to the shed to get the hose]

Charlie Brown:
Help, help! Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help!

[runs up to Pierre's house]

Charlie Brown:
Fire, fire! Help! Fire! The chateau! Fire, fire! Help! The chateau! Fire, fire, fire!

[Pierre, Marcie and Peppermint Patty come out]

Charlie Brown:
Somebody, help! The chateau is on fire! Somebody save the chateau! Fire, fire!

[runs off]

Pierre:
[to Patty and Marcie] I must call the pompier!

[Marcie and Peppermint Patty runs off]

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie:
Jump, Linus, jump!

Pierre:
[runs up] The pompier are on the way, is Linus safe?

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie:
Jump, jump! Jump Linus, jump!

Linus:
[to Violette] Jump? Are they crazy?

Teacher:
What was the significance of "1066."

Peppermint Patty:
What happened in "1066"? [pauses to ponder] Well, it all depends. Is it a date or an address? [smiles stupidly]

Violet, Pig-Pen, Schroeder, Sally:
Bon voyage, Charlie Brown!

Lucy:
And don't come back!

Pierre:
Did he say chateau? Surely they are not staying at the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor.

Marcie:
Yes they are, Mal Voisin.

Pierre:
But that is terrible! They cannot stay there!

Peppermint Patty:
Why not, Pierre?

Pierre:
They could be in great danger!

Marcie:
Danger?

Pierre:
No one, absolutely no one goes to that chateau, if you are from another country, that's even worse.

Peppermint Patty:
But Chuck received a letter from the chateau!

Pierre:
And, but that too is impossible, the baron would never allow such a thing.

Marcie:
The baron? What baron?

Pierre:
Come! We must see if we can do something!

Pierre:
[on the phone] ?tes-vous s?r madame? Are you sure, Madam? Are you sure there is no answer? Alright thank you, merci. [hangs up]

Marcie:
No answer? Shouldn't they have been there by now?

Peppermint Patty:
Well now what do we do?

Pierre:
There is nothing we can do. We must wait until morning and hope they are alright.

Marcie:
I don't think I like this, Sir. Chuck didn't fly all the way over here to get mugged.

Charlie Brown:
[pounding on the chateau's door in a horrible lightning storm] I can't believe it! There's no one home! Why would they invite us clear over here, and then not be home?

Pierre:
Nobody go to the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor, the Baron is recluse and hates everybody! He do not allow visitors.

Charlie Brown:
Then why did they invite us? See? I got a letter from V. Honfleur, she invited us!

Pierre:
Violette? She's a ward of the Baron's, if she invited you, the Baron do not know about it. The Baron do not invite anyone. The Baron is a very violent person. He hates everybody.

Linus:
That doesn't make sense. Why did she invite you, Charlie Brown?

Peppermint Patty:
[gathered around a fire] I hope Chuck and Linus got into the chateau tonight, it's cold outside.

Pierre:
Nobody go into the Mal Voisin! I remember Violette often spoke of her grandmother and an American friend. During WWII many Americans were stationed around here, and in the Chateau Mal Voisin. I wish your friend will leave the chateau, he could be in danger!