Bone

Bill:
A rat! He's stuck in the drain!

Bernadette:
A rat? In OUR pool?

Bill:
Yeah, I guess he got thirsty and come down from the hills, and fall into the pool and get sucked into the filter.

Bernadette:
Get it out, get it out!

Bill:
It's alive in there!

Bernadette:
Well, so? Get it out!

Bill:
Any idea how?

Bernadette:
Yes, call the pool service. I want this pool drained and scrubbed!

Bill:
The chlorine will kill all the bacteria.

Bernadette:
Oh really? Well, you didn't seem too happy swimming around with a rat in there.

Bill:
Well, I came up about two inches from his face! It was looking me right in the eye!

Bone:
[Holding a dead rat and jumping up and down] Usually, they's pretty smart. But when you're sucked up, bein' smart don' mean nothin'!

Bill:
My wife is really rather squeamish.

Bone:
Here, you wanna touch it?

Bill:
No, it's dead. I don't like dead things.

The Girl:
Hi. What kind of checks do you have?

Bill:
Beg your pardon?

The Girl:
I have surfers. I mean, I used to have tennis players. Maybe that's why my checks kept bouncing.

The Girl:
Do you have a mistress?

Bill:
No. Too much time, too demanding - a lot of work keeping it a secret, you know. Rides, and motel rooms...

The Girl:
How do you like your meat? Don't tell me - medium.

Bill:
While all that energy could be better put to use by expanding profits, getting ahead... instead of laid and alone. You're always alone afterwards, you know? Try to put something of yourself into it. But afterwards, lying there, it all seems so... f***ing impersonal. What could be new? People have been doing it for millions of years - Romans, Egyptians, Babylonians - what can be new? What makes it ME doing it? It could be anybody doing it with anybody else, so unless you put some little bit of PERVERSION of your own to make it special - but suppose you're not a pervert?

The Girl:
Oh, you could learn.