Cat in the Hat

The Cat:
Humina, humina, humina! Who is this?

Conrad:
That's my mom.

The Cat:
Awkward.

The Fish:
Stop this right now!

Sally:
The fish is talking.

The Cat:
Sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.

Conrad:
I'm not going to military school.

Lawrence Quinn:
Oh, I think you're gonna love it! It's just like summer camp, except with brutal forced marches and soul-crushing discipline.

The Cat:
(showing his car) Here she is, the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.

Sally:
S-L-O-W?

The Cat:
Yeah, S.L.O.W. It's better than the last thing we had: Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter?

Conrad:
Oh, you mean...

The Cat:
NO! Quick! To the S.L.O.W.!

The Cat:
Oh yeah!

The Fish:
This cat should not be here, he should not be about! He should not be here when your mother is out!

The Cat:
Wow! This is just like the carnival, just without the abused animals and the drunken clowns with hepatitis.

The Cat:
There is a third option!

Sally:
There is?

The Cat:
Yes. It involves... MURDER!

The Cat:
I'll get you, and I'll make it look like a bloody accident!

The Cat:
Son of a (beep)!

Sally:
Where did you come from?

The Cat:
Hmm, How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide to...

Conrad:
No, no, no, no, no. Where did you *come* from?

The Cat:
My place, what do you think?

The Cat:
You pay this woman to sit on babies? That's disgusting... I do it for nothing.

The Cat:
C'mon kids, you're gonna listen to him? He drinks where he pees!

The Cat:
Dirty Hoe... I'm sorry, I love you.

The Fish:
Oh my Cod!

Sally:
Who are you?

The Cat:
Who, Me? Why I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're..."meline"..."key lime"..."turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!

Mom:
Well, if you're both staying, remember the rules; Conrad, no playing ball in the house, no fighting, no answering the phone: "City Morgue".

Sally:
Mommy, can't I have some rules?

Mom:
No chewing tobacco.

The Fish:
Children, this cat is currently in violation of... seventeen of your mother's rules!

The Cat:
City Morgue!

The Fish:
EIGHTEEN!

The Cat:
Without my hat, I'm just your garden variety six-foot tall talking cat.

Conrad:

Mrs. Kwan:
You tell them, Kwi-Chang. No more big government! Hit him in the face!

The Cat:
Anything. I?ll get you? and it. Look like a bloody accident.

Cat:
They're magical time traveling elves!.. Okay, they're my lawyers.

You're not just wrong your stupid

Kids :
THATS MOMS DRESS

sally:
she was gonna wear that tonight and you’ve ruined it

Cat:
hunny it was ruined when she bought it