Charlie Chan on Broadway

Lee Chan, #1 Son:
Gee, Pop, you sure missed a wonderful luncheon!

Charlie Chan:
[at the shiprail suffering from seasickness] Contradiction, please. Not having eaten have missed nothing.

Lee Chan, #1 Son:
I had turtle soup, chicken a la king, and three cream puffs. Then I had some ice cream.

Charlie Chan:
Please stop! Mention of food more painful than surgeon's knife without anesthesia.

Lee Chan, #1 Son:
Shall I get you medicine, Pop?

Charlie Chan:
Good dose of land only effective medicine.

Charlie Chan:
[breaking into ship cabin because of screams] Sorry to intrude but etiquette ignored when lady in distress.

Charlie Chan:
[annoyed by Lee's whistling] Put a muzzle on peanut whistle.

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
[on the pier with other police to welcome Charlie Chan] Look, Smitty, have the band blast at somethin' Oriental. Hey, what is the Chinese national anthem anyway?

Smitty (Policeman):
I don' know. Why don't you give 'em 'Chinatown, My Chinatown?'

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
Okay, we'll play it.

Speed Patten, Reporter New York Bulletin:
Looks like you got half of headquarters down here. What's up?

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
I'm lookin' for the other half.

Speed Patten, Reporter New York Bulletin:
Expect someone to steal the Atlantic?

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
No, the boys are goin' wading.

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
I wish the fishing season was as open as the one for murder.

Charlie Chan:
[at testimonial dinner] Police of New York and Honolulu have one thing in common. Both live on very small island, but while we have small volcano, you have biggest shakeup.

Charlie Chan:
Mud of bewilderment beginning to clear from pool of thought.

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
Mr. Chan?

Charlie Chan:
That is humble name.

Chief Inspector James Nelson NYPD:
I'm Inspector Nelson, Mr. Chan. Greetings from New York's Finest. The bigwigs expect you to tear a duck apart with 'em tonight.

Charlie Chan:
So sorry, come again please?

Speed Patten, Reporter New York Bulletin:
You'll have to excuse the inspector's English, Mr. Chan. He's a Brooklyn immigrant.

Charlie Chan:
Camera remember many things human eye forget.

Charlie Chan:
[referring to the tell-all diary] No poison more deadly than ink.

Charlie Chan:
But murder like revolving door - when one side close, other side open.

Charlie Chan:
Someday hope to greet honorable brothers where roar of surf replace noise of subway and hot rhythm of Broadway cooled by strains of 'Aloha.'

Charlie Chan:
[to Lee] Keep eyes open, and mouth *closed*!

Charlie Chan:
[to Lee] *One* cabin not big enough for *two* detectives!