Cinderella

Prince:
Ah, yes! I noticed the pomp! But she has a circumstance that I cannot abide.

Stepmother:
And what is that, Your Highness?

Prince:
She creaks.

King:
A woman given to sudden, mysterious appearances and disappearances seems to me to lack the first qualification for a queen.

Queen:
And what is that, my lord?

King:
She should not disappear into thin air.

Queen:
Oh, I am certain that once married, she would settle down.

Prince:
It would not be so bad if I saw them as fair young maidens.

King:
How else do you see them?

Prince:
As contenders for a prize and I am the prize.

Stepmother:
You, Prunella, your knee creaks.

Prunella:
I cannot help it, mother.

Stepmother:
Yes, you can. Rub some unicorn oil into it. Whoever hopes to marry the Prince must be perfect.

Aide:
We are in sight of the towers of home and your father's palace.

Prince:
It hardly seems like we've been gone for an entire year.

Aide:
I sent messengers ahead to tell of your arrival

Prince:
I am dying of thirst. Let us stop at that cottage

Prince:
What is your name, lass?

Cinderella:
I am called Cinderella.

Prince:
And why are you called that?

Cinderella:
Because I sit among the ashes.

Prince:
And why do you do that?

Cinderella:
To warm my feet. You see, sir, I sleep in the attic where it's always cold.

Prince:
And why do you sleep in the attic?

Cinderella:
The other rooms are occupied by my stepmother and my stepsisters.

Prince:
And where does your father sleep?

Cinderella:
In heaven.

The Herald:
His royal highness Christopher Rupert Vwindemier Vlandamier Carl Alexander Francois Reginald Lancelot Herman...

Small Boy #1:
Herman?

The Herald:
Herman... Gregory James is giving a ball.

The Herald:
His royal highness Christopher Rupert son of her majesty Queen Constantina Charlotte Hermantrude Guenivere Mazie...

Small Boy #1:
Mazie?

The Herald:
Mazie... Margareet Anne is giving a ball.

The Herald:
His royal highness Christopher Rupert son of his majesty King Maximillian Godfee Ladeslous Leapolt Sydney...

The Herald:
Sydney... Fredrick John is giving a ball.