Code Monkeys

Dave:
I love you whores!

Todd:
It's not gay if we don't make eye contact

[opening theme]

Jonathan Coulton:
[singing] Code Monkey like Fritos / Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew / Code Monkey very simple man / With big, warm, fuzzy, secret heart / Code Monkey like you / Code Monkey like you / Code Monkey like you...

Dave:
I love you, whores!

Larrity:
I'd be happier if you fed me my own a**hole!

Larrity:
Pissed? Ya took my car! I'd be less pissed if ya fed me my own ass on a ciabatta!

Mary:
Why is your penis green?

Dave:
You know what I did do? I went to a strip club. Do any of you know what that means? That means I saw naked women. And they shook their asses this close to my face, for money. Sure I coulda gone to that movie. But then I wouldn't have seen all those naked women, at the strip club, with the b*obs, in my face. Now ask yourselves, can you blame me? And isn't that what you would have wanted me to do in the first place?

Clarence:
[singing] Man that stock was a bust. I even had to sell my Tom Selleck bust.

Todd:
You can't rhyme a word with the same word.

Clarence:
[singing] Do what ever I want because I'm gay.

Todd:
Hm. I stand corrected.

Todd:
Well... I guess that just leaves you and me... my dangerous friend.

Steve Wozniak:
Dave, are you sleeping in a dead donkey like a taun-taun?

Dave:
Uh, yeah.

Steve Wozniak:
I love it!

Dave:
What's up dude?

Jerry:
Dude, I just dropped a deuce in the brownie bowl!

Dave:
Dude, you are never gonna bone her. The door is closed. Mary, tell him you're unboneable. The door is locked. But wait, maybe the backdoor isn't. Knock Knock!

Mary:
SECURITY!

Jerry:
[to Todd] Were you just talking to your mom about nacho cheese?

Todd:
Mother and I share many passions, one of which happens to be *our* passion for nachos, the other, my passion for her.

Dave:
Wow. That is really creepy Todd. When we find out how many people are buried in your basement, are we going to be more shocked or more dissapointed by the number?

Todd:
[annoyed] What do you a-holes want?