Cougar Club

[repeated line]

Mr. Stack:
Hey shitturd!

Spence Holmes:
Could I get a beer, a tequila and a shot of a thumb up my ass for my girlfriend?

Amanda:
Look, all our problems revolve around your geriatric loving loser creep of a friend. And as soon as you outgrow him, the sooner you'll be to reaching your potential.

Spence Holmes:
Just enough with Hogan, please.

Amanda:
No. No, Spencey. If you spend the rest of your life associating yourself with that vermin, you will become that vermin.

Spence Holmes:
[downs his beer in disgust]

Amanda:
Spencey, I love you, I just want what's best for you.

Hogan:
I heard that poor bastard f***s the filing cabinets to blow off steam.

Mr. Stack:
Come in!

Karl:
Uh, hello, Mr. Stack, Mr. Conrad, Mr. Archibald

Mr. Conrad:
What do you want, douche bag?

Karl:
May I... you know... how do you... how do you do this? I don't know... Ah - oh!... All right there we go. Hmm, um... I just couldn't help but hear your conversation yesterday about Marshall Hogan and how he, you know, did stuff with your wife.

Mr. Conrad:
[grabs Karl and strangles him] What did you say about my wife?

Karl:
You don't understand!

Mr. Conrad:
I will rip your dick off and shove it up your ass! You hear me, you scrawny little bastard?

Karl:
No, i'm on your side.

Mr. Stack:
Let's hear what the butt-licker has to say.

Mr. Conrad:
Speak Karl!

Karl:
Okay, Well... I saw him this morning, so I couldn't help but notice that he had... he was driving this 91 convertible Camaro that was red, and so I said "Hey, nice car." and he said "Hell... um... thank you, Yeah it's brand new, I just got it today." So on impulse, I took out my work pen which I brought back and I wrote down his license plate number while he was driving away, because you said that if he owned a car, you would, oh darn, what was it?. What, what did you say? I ca... I can't remember!

Mr. Conrad:
I said I'd put a bomb in it and blow him up beyond dental records.

Judge Margaret Emerson:
So boys, is it true that you two have started a club where you young fellows could hook up with old broads like me?

Amanda:
Spence, you complete me!

Hogan:
Where would you be without the club Karl?, i'll tell you where you'd be, you would still be f***ing files Q-Z in the filing cabinet. I bet the paper cuts on your dick haven't fully healed yet.

Radio Announcer:
In sports, the Los Angeles Cougars have won the W.A.B.A. championship.