Dark Matter

One:
[Approx 8:30 seconds in: One walks into the gym where Two is lying on a bench-press with a low top on... the view is obviously too much for him!] If you're not careful, your breasts a blood vessel

[Five has warned Six to watch out for Two]

Five:
We don't know what happened to her while she was down on that planet.

Six:
Come on. You really think she's capable of harming a member of this crew?

Five:
I know she is.

Four:
If anyone needs me, I'll be training.

Six:
We should stick together. Separated, we're easy targets.

Four:
[scoffs] I'd welcome anyone who considered me an easy target.

[when searching Three's quarters, Two pulls some knickers out of a drawer]

Three:
That's a little something I picked up at the last space station - from a little something I picked up at the last space station.

[Two is going through some of Five's collections]

Two:
I don't even know what half of this stuff is.

Five:
Neither do I, until I fix it.

Six:
You look pretty comfortable with that gun.

Five:
Four's been teaching me self-defense. That includes fighting and... weapon training. Now, when there's trouble, instead of hiding I can finally be useful.

Six:
You never needed a gun to be useful.

Five:
You might not want to hear it, but... I'm happy now. I finally feel like I'm part of the team and, it's got nothing to do with this gun.

Six:
Well, here's the irony. All this time you've been trying to be more like us, we've actually been trying to be more like you. And we failed. In the end, we can't help but be who we are.

[the Android, trying to make herself more appealing like Wendy the Android, tries out alternate accents when she comes across One in a hallway]

The Android:
[British accent] 'Ello, you look to be in a right smashing good mood. You'll be chuffed to 'ear I've found a way ter convert the engine's residual byproducts into a nutritious, protein-rich meal supplement.

One:
Why are you talking like that?

The Android:
[Scottish accent] Och, ye've noticed. It just so happens that I too come programmed wif several unique linguistic varieties.

The Android:
[German accent] Zhere ofer two tozen eccents to choose vrom. You can zelect vone or ve can go vith a taily hrotation.

One:
I umm, I don't...

The Android:
[Jamaican accent] Don't worry about it, mon. Yuh dun havtah decide rite dis second. Dere's ova twooooo dozon.

One:
No. Just... no.

[One walks off]

The Android:
[Australian accent] Maybe we can twalk about it a bit layta then.

[the Android seems disappointed, then zips her top all the way back up]

Three:
[Fighting Wendy] Wait! This runs counter to your programming! Fun, remember?

Wendy the Android:
Fun? I don't remember fun. I just remember cooking and cleaning and dunking the cosmic doughnut!

Three:
Ahh, wait, what was that last one?

Three:
Who are you?

One, Two:
I don't know.

Two:
Who are you?

Three:
I got no idea.

One:
She said "it just came to her" while she was standing at that console, but I did the exact same thing, trying to figure out what buttons to push, and nothing came to me. How do you figure that? Hell, how do you figure any of this? [Four is silent] No way of knowing how long we were in those pods. Could've been days, months years maybe. [Four doesn't respond to this] Weird thing is it's not like our minds have been wiped clean. If they had've been, I wouldn't know what a pod was, or a year, or even be able to express myself. Language, itself, would be totally alien to us, right? [Four is still silent] You're about to blow my theory here.

Four:
This way. [Walks off]

One:
What's your name?

The Android:
I possess no personal designation.

Six:
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of that going around.

One:
Why did you attack us?

The Android:
I have no memory of such an attack.

Two:
The reboot must've wiped her data stores.

Three:
Well, ain't that convenient.

The Android:
It appears another vessel has entered our scanning range.

Two:
And their course?

The Android:
They're headed straight for us but I don't believe they intend to render assistance.

Two:
Why not?

The Android:
Because they just launched missiles.

One:
So any idea who attacked us, or why?

Two:
None.

Three:
Maybe the robot had something to do with it.

The Android:
I have no intention of harming anyone on this ship.

Three:
Oh, yeah, except for the part where you nearly killed us all.

The Android:
I have no memory of such an attack.

Three:
So you keep saying!

Five:
I see things, in my head. Like, while I was sleeping, I saw a dream.

Two:
Oh, yeah?

Five:
I was walking on the beach with my little brother. He was crying because he'd gotten lost, but I found him and I was was bringing him back to the palace.

Two:
The palace? That sounds like a nice place to live.

Five:
It was. [voice takes an ominous tone] Until they murdered my father, and then came for me. But I was too much for them. And even though I could've killed them, I didn't. I just carved out their eyes and left them for my stepmother to find. The b*tch. [Normal voice] I hope they're bringing back some real food. I'm starving.

Two:
You you carved out their eyes?

Five:
Well, it was me in the dream, but it wasn't really me because it wasn't my dream.

Two:
Who's dream was it?

Five:
I don't know. But it was somebody's.

Four:
If their enemy is even half as powerful as they believe, then they're doomed.

One:
The least we can do is give them a fighting chance.

Three:
I'm pretty sure the least we can do is nothing. Which, for the record, is what I'm suggesting we do.

Nassan:
Who are you? Why are you here?

One:
Yeah, I was afraid those questions might come up.

Mireille:
They're not Corporate Guard. They could be Hrothgar's people.

Nassan:
Did Hrothgar send you?

Six:
Maybe?

One:
Obviously we were meant to help these people.

Three:
We don't know that.

One:
And the fact that we have a cargo hold full of weapons, that's a coincidence?

Three:
You're forgetting one important detail; the scary lizard people that are on their way to this planet to destroy everything! I'm guessing you don't wanna be there when they show up

One:
Okay, I admit, that part sounded bad.

Three:
I vote that we keep the weapons, we sell them, take what we make to stay alive, and find out what the hell happened to us.

Four:
Agreed.

One:
I think we do what we know we came here to do, complete the delivery.

Six:
He's right. I say we help those people.

One:
Thank you.

Five:
Yeah, me too, I want to help those people.

Three:
Wait a minute, she can't vote.

Five:
[Offended] Why not?

Three:
Cause you're a kid.

Six:
She's a member of this crew.

Three:
Who's a kid, what are you, like, 15 years old?

Two:
Do we really have to have a vote to decide if she gets to vote?

Three:
[Holds his hand up] I vote against her voting!

Two:
As far as the miners are concerned a race of bloodthirsty aliens, monsters, come to wipe them out.

Six:
But the truth is we're nothing but a bunch of low-life mercenaries.

Three:
No, we're better than that. We're also pirates and smugglers and thieves, it's a very diversified portfolio.

One:
You think this is funny?

Three:
It's my defense mechanism: humor. That, and apparently killing people.

The Android:
I didn't mean to startle you.

Five:
You didn't startle me. You scared the crap out of me sneaking up like that.

The Android:
My stealth subroutines *are* very efficient.

Five:
Well, dial them back.

The Android:
If it's not fear, then why are you upset?

Five:
What makes you think I'm upset?

The Android:
I can see a muscular tension in your jaw and shoulders. I can hear a slight increase in both respiratory and heart rate. I can smell a distinct shift in pheromone production...

Five:
Okay, okay. I get it. Look, if you want to know, it's because I'm the only one who's not in the files. I'm not one of the crew. So how did I get onboard this ship? At least they know they belong here. I'm still just a big question mark.

The Android:
There may come a time when you'll consider yourself lucky not to be counted as a member of this crew.

Five:
Well, right now, I just wish I was part of the team.

Three:
Which one of us do you think's got the baddest rep?

Six:
What?

Three:
Yeah, I mean, just based on what we know about each other, which is not a lot to go on, I know, how would you rank us in order of Most Wanted, from like "super bad-ass" all the way on down to "cause for concern". Hmm?

[Six just stares at him]

Three:
For instance, I'd put me in first spot, you'd slide right there in second. Boss Lady, well, she'd be third on account of her badattitude, ol' Slashy Stabberson fourth. Pretty Boy and the kid tied for last place cause it looks like she's got a bit of a temper.

Six:
You being serious?

Three:
You'd rate her higher?

[Thinks]

Three:
Yeah, maybe.

Three:
Seriously, what's with the sword?

Four:
It's quicker, more effective in close quarter combat.

Three:
More effective than a gun?

Four:
Without a doubt.

Three:
You think you could outdraw me with that thing?

Four:
[Holds the sword at his neck] I would have your head cut off before you could even unholster.

Keeley:
At least allow us to thank you.

Three:
Well, that bloodthirsty look in your eyes is all the thanks I need.

Keeley:
With song and drink!

Three:
Well, who doesn't love a good song, huh?