Dizzy Doctors

Moe:
[while "polishing" a man's shoe with Brighto] Remember sir, Brighto! You'll never forget it as long as you live! [removes the rag to realize that the Brighto has eaten right through the man's shoe] And neither will I!

Moe:
[In a hospital, in a room with a microphone connected to the loudspeaker, hits the three skulls to make a musical jingle then hits Curly on the head] Hello, everybody, we just brought the moon over the mountain.

Curly:
Hello, Ma. Hello, Pa. It wasn't much of a fight. I stood like that. But not for long. [Moe hits him on the head]

Moe:
Quiet. This broadcast comes to you through the courtesy of Brighto. And it's six delicious flavors. Chocolate, Vanilla, Cranberry, Strawberry.

Curly:
And raspberry. [Moe slaps him] Ow. It's still raspberry. [Sticks his tongue out, Moe hits him on the head] Ow!

Moe:
Now keep quiet or I'll sock you again.

Larry:
Are you listening. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v-voo. V-v-v... [Moe hits him with a backhand punch in the face]

Moe:
Now, don't go away, gentlemen. We'll soon be with you.

Moe, Larry, Curly:
Zheee. Boom! Cuckoo!

Moe:
Brighto, Brighto, makes old bodies new!

Larry:
We'll sell a million bottles!

Curly:
Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!

Dr. Bright:
Well boys, how did it go?

Curly:
We rubbed it on a man's car, and it took the paint right off. That polish ain't no good.

Dr. Bright:
Polish? You idiots, that's medicine!

Curly:
Medicine? [Curly drinks a bottle] I feel better already!

Moe:
What was wrong with you?

Curly:
Nothing. [Moe slaps Curly]

Dr. Bright:
Have you ever sold anything?

Larry:
Have we ever SOLD anything!

Moe:
Have we ever SOLD anything!

Curly:
Have we?

Curly:
Hey, what's this stuff for anyway?

Larry:
Why it's a cleaner, you chump.

Curly:
I know. It's auto polish.

Moe:
You boys really want to know what it's for?

Curly, Larry:
Yeah!

Moe:
It's for sale. Now get busy selling it.

Policeman:
[Larry is standing next to a fence with one leg hidden to look crippled] Oh I'm sorry buddy. I didn't notice the leg was gone.

Larry:
Huh? Oh yeah, gone but not forgotten.

Policeman:
War, eh?

Larry:
No, banana peel.

Curly:
A guy wants to know what to do for inflammation.

Moe:
Why call us? Tell him to dial Inflammation!