Dog the Bounty Hunter

Beth Smith:
Lolly lolly ice head!

Beth Smith:
It's a woman's job to outsmart the men.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
[talking into a cell phone with a suspect] Hey! Hi. So where you at? You know what mutherf***er? I'm gonna file bond jumping on you, you 9mm packing ice head. If you wanna stay out of jail buddy, you better f***ing show up right now with your old lady. Yeah, listen, we gotcha... you know what mutherf***er? You better come right now mutherf***er tweak. You better get her right now. [shouting] GET HERE TWEAK!

Beth Smith:
Get her Lyssa!

Lyssa Chapman:
[Screaming] Get on the ground! Get on the ground now!

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Cuff her Baby Lyssa! Yeah!

Duane Lee Chapman Jr.:
[Back in the car] You did it.

Lyssa Chapman:
Yeah! That was my first take down. That was a rush.

Duane Lee Chapman Jr.:
Very impressive. Remind me not to piss you off.

Lyssa Chapman:
I was just repeating what Leland said.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
You remember what he looks like Baby, right?

Lyssa Chapman:
Yeah.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Even though you see him, don't say, "You're Mark." Say "Are you Mark?"

Lyssa Chapman:
His name's Wayne, Dad.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Wayne. Just checking her.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Are you your brother's keeper?

Leland Chapman:
Yes I am my brother's keeper.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
A cur dog can whip a pit bull in his own yard.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
I used to sell Kirby vacuums til I was way in my adulthood. Because of my years of experience, I am the best qualified in the house to do the vacuuming.

Tim Chapman:
He's constantly vacuuming.

Leland Chapman:
At least once, maybe twice a day.

Tim Chapman:
Vacuuming his carpet. Vacuuming his carpet.

Beth Smith:
Hey everybody. Is this Nunu?

Crowd:
Yes!

Beth Smith:
Did you help catch him?

Crowd:
Yes!

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Hey kids. Did you see a man come running through here?

Kids:
No!

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Okay if you see him run through here again could you shout "Uncle Dog he's running this way?"?

Kids:
Yes.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Okay thank you.

Leland Chapman:
What's your name bra?

Nunu:
Michael.

Leland Chapman:
Don't lie bra.

Duane Lee Chapman Jr.:
[Over the walkie-talkie] Dad get over here quick. I've got someone I want you to see.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
His picture doesn't look like he's in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, so we gotta be very careful.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
When I draw my mace, I pretend it's a .45.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Born on a mountain, raised in a cave. Arresting fugitives is all I crave.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
Where mercy is shown, mercy is given.

Beth Smith:
She's in a shack in the back, but the shack in the back has a crackhouse in the front.

Beth Smith:
Cecily is my second chance shot at being a mother because the first time I didn't do too well. When I was 17 I had a baby. A little boy named Dominic and I almost lost him. I fell asleep on the couch and he opened the door and ran out onto the street. Someone called the police and I did the best thing that I could for him. I gave him to a family that could take better care of him than I could because at the time I wasn't ready to be a mother. I hope that Dominic will come looking for me when he's ready.

Leland Chapman:
Tombstones don't talk back.

Beth Chapman:
The case that he's in jail for right now is selling bunk dope to cops. And he's out selling more bunk dope. So, it like hasn't got through yet that you can't sell bunk dope. You can't sell dope. You can't sell bunk dope. No dope.

Duane 'Dog' Chapman:
[upon hearing loud thunder] We're storm chasers today. Let's see if we can cuff us a tornado.