Find Me Guilty

FBI Agent:
If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, then chances are it *is* a duck.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
If it talks like an a**hole, and looks like an a**hole, then chances are it *is* an a**hole.

[repeated line]

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Jackie Dee don't rat!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Send me to jail. I'm not guilty, but I'm used to it.

[repeated line]

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
I fell.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
I'm not a gangster. I'm a gagster!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Time is fleeting...

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Hey, those screws finally said I could eat here WITH YOU GUYS!

Nick Calabrese:
For all we know you were the f*ggot not Jimmy, you would probably suck cock to get out of the can!

Sean Kierney:
Now listen to me, you guinea cocksucker. Don't f*** with me. We're taking down the whole f***ing family, do you understand? This trial is gonna take at least a year. 76 counts, 20 defendants, I don't know how many defense lawyers, at least 4 prosecutors, 8 alternates on the jury in case you f***s try to reach one of them to get a mistrial. This is the biggest thing I'll ever have in my life. Never lost a case and I sure as sh*t won't start with this one. I'm gonna watch all of you taking it up the ass for the rest of your lives. And that's the only kind of love you pricks are gonna get. So what's your answer?

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
F*** you.

Sean Kierney:
[speaks over the intercom to the guards that brought DiNorscio into his office] Get this piece of sh*t out of here.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
[walk towards the door] Mr. Kierney?

Sean Kierney:
Yeah?

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Have you got a brother?

Sean Kierney:
Yeah.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Well f*** him too.

Mob Lawyer:
They got no case. That's why they charge you under RICO [Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act] . Whenever the government's got no case, they charge you under RICO.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
For me it's easy: I still got a long time on my old sentence. God knows I love you guys and wouldn't do nothin' to hurt yez.

Nick Calabrese:
Stop with the love sh*t Jackie, just say your piece.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
When I got indicted on this - jeez, what is it, Ben, three years ago? - they offered me a deal. I said no, naturally. Then, while I'm out on bail on the RICO charge they pick me up again on the dope charge, the one I'm doing time on now. Now I'm not a jerk-off, I know what the hell they're doing: they're using the second case so they can pressure me on the first, right? So now I'm serving my thirty, this trial finally gets here... and they offer me ANOTHER deal. This time they've got shrimp cocktail, they got steaks, they got wines. I tell Mr. Kierney to go f*** yourself. Now, most of you gumps get to go home every night. You got hot meals waitin' for you. You got some warm p*ssy waitin' for you - that is, if your wife's out of town. Not me. I go back to the Manhattan correctional every day. The meals ain't that great. And my only p*ssy is my right hand. And I'm STILL saying Jackie Dee don't rat. Jackie Dee won't ever rat. I was raised with a different kind of loyalty, you know what I mean. I vote no.

Rudolph W. Giuliani:
[first lines - fade in]... is not by any means the full sum and total of the FBI and the police department's efforts here. As has been outlined before, a couple of hundred mafia and organized crime members and associates have been indicted in the last year to two years, so that the attack is at the top level, the middle level, and the lower level. And we are doing everything that we can to identify, indict and convict, uh, the capos, the soldiers, and the associates of the mafia as well.

Title Card:
This movie is based on a true story. Most of the court dialogue is actual testimony.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
[from hospital bed]... speakin' of which, how many times I gotta tell ya, if see me shot 20 times, or you come in the room, I got my head cut off - ya don't call the cops!

Michael Kerry:
I was at a restaurant in Bloomfield on September 19th of last year - it had a reputation as being a mob hangout.

Sean Kierney:
Why did it have that reputation?

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
[interrupting] Because the food was good.

Ben Klandis:
Jackie, your ignorance is second only to your arrogance.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Mr. Kerry, I was wondering about something. Could you tell all of us, how you knew those men in that restaurant was Italian?

Michael Kerry:
Well, uh, uh, I guess it... hey, they all looked Italian to me.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Well, how?

Michael Kerry:
You know, with the hand gestures, the back slappin', and the kissing, and everything.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Did they teach you that in FBI school that that's how Italians act?

Michael Kerry:
No, no, that's not part of our training. No.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
[says something in Italian and the court laughs] Do you speak Italian?

Michael Kerry:
No.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
No? Could you hear them talking in Italian?

Michael Kerry:
No, I was too far away.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Judge.

Judge Finestein:
Yes, Mr. DiNorscio?

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Can I talk to you? [approaches the bench] I wanna apologize for my action in court before. I want you to understand... whatever I said, I meant no disrespect to you. I respect you more than any other judge I ever faced, and I faced a lot of them.

Judge Finestein:
Okay, well, thank you, Mr. DiNorscio.

Ben Klandis:
Jackie, what... what the f*** do you think you're doing up there?

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
What? I speak my mind.

Ben Klandis:
You can kick his dog, you can spit in his face, but the one thing a judge never wants to hear is criticism about his court.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
F*** him. He ain't the jury. What the f*** could he do?

Ben Klandis:
Jackie, your ignorance is second only to your arrogance.

Max Novardis:
Your Honor, objection! Objection! My client is being pilloried! No, CRUCIFIED by nothing but hearsay, hearsay, hearsay, hearsay, hearsay!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
See, I-I'm not understanding this. You're saying from the back slappin' and the kissing, you knew that they were Italian?

Michael Kerry:
Well, it was an Italian restaurant.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Did they all have black hair?

Michael Kerry:
Uh, yeah, yeah. From what I remember, yeah.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Could they have been Spanish, Greek, Jewish?

Michael Kerry:
Not with Nick Calabrese at the head of the table, no.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
You saying Nick only eats with Italians?

Michael Kerry:
No, I'm not saying that.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
What if I told you I went into a restaurant and there was nothing but Irish guys there? And you says, "How'd you know they were Irish?" And I says, "'Cause they were all drunk and vomiting all over the floor."

Sean Kierney:
Objection, Your Honor! Badgering the witness!

Judge Finestein:
Mr. DiNorscio.

Michael Kerry:
No, it's all right, Judge. Look, Mr. DiNorscio. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, chances are it's a duck.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
If it talks like an a**hole, looks like an a**hole, [talks into the microphone] chances are it's an a**hole.

Sean Kierney:
Objection, Your Honor! This behavior cannot be tolerated!

Judge Finestein:
Mr. DiNorscio, I am fining you $5,000 for contempt of court!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
That's what I got, Your Honor. I got contempt for this court. You should've stopped him before with all the Italian sh*t.

Judge Finestein:
You are now fined 10,000! Wanna try for 15?

Jerry McQueen:
We went to a restaurant called... The Hole in the Wall. Mr. Calabrese was there with the Mascarpone brothers and somebody I didn't know. He went up to Mr. Calabrese and said, "Here you are, boss, on account," and left the bag on the table.

Sean Kierney:
What happened then?

Jerry McQueen:
Calabrese took the money, opened it, counted it. And then he said to Tony... "What the hell kind of bag is this? The money's all greasy." And Tony says, "I'm sorry. I ordered some egg rolls. They was kinda greasy. It was the only bag I got."

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Mr. Petraki, you was a college teacher?

Peter Petraki:
Yes.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Now, in those courses that you taught... In, what was it, politics? Machiavelli's a big deal, am I right?

Peter Petraki:
A very big deal.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
I mean, we're not talking about a made guy in the Lucchese family.

Peter Petraki:
No, we are not.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
So my question is... how could you make a mistake like that? I mean, you're this educated guy, right? And a lot of us, most of us, didn't even get through high school, except maybe Carlo. So your testifying here can hurt us. Do you see what I'm saying?

Peter Petraki:
It was just an honest mistake.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
What else was an honest mistake? You said earlier that it was a Lincoln. You said they spent nine hours. Could that be a Caddy? Could that be a Mercury? Could that be a Buick? You said they spent nine hours. Maybe they spent three. Maybe you don't know what the hell you're talking about, Mr. Petraki.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Now, you remember when you went to visit my pop in Lewisburg Penitentiary?

Jerry McQueen:
Very well.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
My brother Ralph went with you, right?

Jerry McQueen:
Correct.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Now, you was going up to bring up some liquor? You were gonna sneak it in?

Jerry McQueen:
Right.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Now, you knew my brother was a boozer, right?

Jerry McQueen:
Yes. Everyone knew.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Carl... you took my brother to see my father. You knew he was a drunk when you left, and you still went and bought him more liquor, right?

Jerry McQueen:
It was his idea we go get some liquor for your father. We stopped, bought some. He picked up some for himself. I had no intentions of ever abusing your brother's problem.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
But you're an FBI agent. You're an FBI agent smuggling liquor into a federal pen!

Jerry McQueen:
Your brother's the one insisted we go.

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
He was an alcoholic!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
My marshals have been giving me a hard time for weeks now. Everybody gets to eat what they want, and not me. I gotta eat what they bring me. I ordered, uh... creamy peanut butter, and they brought me chunky.

Judge Finestein:
Please, Mr. DiNorscio, this isn't my department. Take it up at MCC.

Chris Newberger:
You know what I heard one of the lady jurors say today. She said he was cute.

Sean Kierney:
Cute? What the f*** is wrong with these people? Does she have any idea how much money these bastards cost her? If a hammer and a nail are used on her house, her daughter's apartment, every f***in' thing is costing her more because of these cute guys. She sees a truck carrying concrete, she's paying for it. Garbage being picked up at a restaurant, she's paying for it. She buys perfume from France, gloves from Italy, she's paying more because it came off a f***in' boat! Not to mention, that they f***in' kill people from time to time!

Giacomo 'Fat Jack' DiNorscio:
Jackie Dee don't rat. Jackie Dee won't ever rat. I was raised with a different kind of loyalty.