Fruits Basket

Kyo S?ma:
[angrily pointing at Yuki] Just like I'll beat you one of these days!

Yuki S?ma:
[looking bored] Wait, wait, I think I've heard this one before!

Kyo S?ma:
One of these days, I'll make you say you're sorry!

Yuki S?ma:
[looking bored] I'm sorry.

Kyo S?ma:
Dammit! That's not what I meant! Don't you have any shame?

Yuki S?ma:
[still looking bored] Yes, I'm ashamed to be seen with you, shouting in public.

Kyo S?ma:
Oh that's it! We're taking this outside!

Yuki S?ma:
[still looking bored] We ARE outside, you stupid cat.

Shigure S?ma:
[singing to himself as he prepares for Tohru's friends to come over] High school girls! 1, 2, 3! High School Girls! All for me!

Shigure S?ma:
[singing] High school girls, high school girls, all for me! High school girls!

Ayame:
[clasping Yuki's hands] Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!

Yuki S?ma:
[annoyed] Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake.

Ayame:
That's right! No matter what happens we'll be together.

Yuki S?ma:
I'll let you drown alone!

Shigure S?ma:
Good morning, everyone!

Yuki S?ma:
Good evening is more like it. I think your sleep schedule is a bit off.

Shigure S?ma:
Nope, such is the life of the creative mind. [notices Kisa] Well, who is this pretty girl? Would you like Grandpa Shigure to give you a candy?

Yuki S?ma:
[shouts] Stop that! The way you say it, it makes you sound like a dirty old man!

Shigure S?ma:
I see Yuki is being cold as usual.

Yuki S?ma:
And, as usual, you're being an idiot.

Shigure Sohma:
So, anyway, I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is, if it isn't a problem.

Hatori Sohma:
No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening.

Shigure Sohma:
Hmmm? What's this, Hatori? I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru?

[long silence from the other end of the phone]

Shigure Sohma:
[shouts] I knew it! You naughty, naughty man, you!

Hatori Sohma:
No, I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.

[repeated line]

Momiji Sohma:
Waaaahhh! Someone! Kyo's picking on me!

Ritsu:
I'm the most useless person I know.

Kagura:
You don't know what a woman feels like when she's in love!

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, yes I do! Or at least I've felt enough women to venture a guess.

[Kagura is doing laundry and tries to wring out Kyou's shirt, causing it to rip in two]

Kyo Sohma:
Tell me what I think just happened didn't just happen!

Kagura:
My love!

Kyo Sohma:
My shirt!

Saki Hanajima:
[reading "Sigh of a Summer Affair", Volume 1, by Shigure S?ma] How sad... love, doomed from the start.

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, you're reading that? What do you think?

Saki Hanajima:
You don't want to know what I think...

Shigure Sohma:
[afraid] Oh... no?

Saki Hanajima:
...but when is Volume 2 coming out?

Tohru Honda:
Yuki, you like fall too, don't you?

Yuki Sohma:
Sure, it's not too hot, not too cold.

Tohru Honda:
Nope, it's just right. And Kyo?

Kyo Sohma:
What the hell does it matter?

Yuki Sohma:
Pickled radish in curry is not dinner, it's disgusting.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
You stubborn idiot. What if it was Yuki wearing a girl's uniform? [Mokoto imagines Yuki in a girl's uniform]

Yuki Sohma:
Haru, cut it out or I will cut you off.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Aw, have my words made you angry?

Mokoto:
[still imaging] It's beautiful!

Yuki Sohma:
Stop imagining me!

Ayame:
This concludes my wonderful story.

Kyo Sohma:
You mean stupid!

Momiji Sohma:
Are you sure? Shigure said it hurt really bad.

Hatori Sohma:
Yes, well, I did that on purpose.

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, Ha'ri, you're killing me! Why would you be so cruel?

Hatori Sohma:
It seemed to be the only way to shut you up at the time.

Kagura:
I'm here for Valentines, silly! It's a very important day for lovers to be together!

Kyo Sohma:
You're not gonna find any lover in this house!

Shigure Sohma:
Kyo, behave please. I don't want the house getting... you know... smashed.

Kyo Sohma:
Damn it! I should've left on that journey sooner! How was I supposed to know today was Valentines?

Yuki Sohma:
It's called a calendar.

Hatori Sohma:
If it's possible for one person to be hurt by another, then it's possible for that person to be healed by another.

Shigure Sohma:
Tohru's very cute, in a sweet sort of way.

Hatori Sohma:
For some reason when you say that it reeks of something illegal.

Shigure Sohma:
We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being an ass.'

[watching Black Haru and Kyo fight]

Tohru Honda:
Somehow, this has turned into an fighting anime.

Kyo S?ma:
This year I'm gonna beat that damn mouse!

Yuki S?ma:
Yeah, yeah, wouldn't that be nice!

Kyo Sohma:
[while fighting Black Haru] I'm seriously going to murder you!

Yuki Sohma:
[to Tohru] He's not serious.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
[after tripping Kyo] If I hadn't had tripped you, you wouldn't have stopped now would you. [addressing the audience] By the way what I just did was very dangerous. And if it had been anyone but Kyo they probably would have been hurt pretty badly, so don't try it at home.

Kyo Sohma:
Don't try it here and who are you even talking to?

[first lines]

Tohru Honda:
Look at that beautiful sky! See you later mom, take care of the house while I'm gone okay? I'll be back.

Tohru Honda:
[narrating] Hello, my name is Tohru Honda, I haven't always lived in a tent. Up until last May I lived with my mom, it was just the two of us. But then the accident... After I lost mom, I began secretly living here on my own. It's not exactly comfortable but it's alright. And it's what I have to do. It's like my motto says, never give up!

Kyoko Honda:
Tohru, Tohru. You've got a fever again. You don't have to push your self so hard. You don't have do things the way I did. You can just be your self, do things your own way, one step at a time. You'll get there, I promise. Just be your self, you'll be fine.

Kyo Sohma:
[busting through the ceiling] Yo! Time to pay the piper rat-boy. I'm here to collect!

Yuki Sohma:
Funny, I would have thought he send someone bigger.

Kyo Sohma:
That's right you better get your tough talk out of the way because I'm about to wipe that stupid smirk right off your face!

Shigure Sohma:
I picked out the perfect outfit for Tohru to wear when she cleans the house. She's gone to long with out having a decent maid outfit.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
[to Yuki who's sitting at the window with his back facing Hatsuharu] I hate your guts! It's the rat's fault everyone laughs at the cow! They call the cow a fool and an idiot! IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOU DIRTY MEAN STINKING RAT! [He pants]

Young Yuki:
[Talks quietly] Well, is it true? About you, I mean. Is that what you are? Are you a fool?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
No. No, I'm not. I'm... I'm not a fool. I'm not a fool...

Young Yuki:
Mhm [turns around with a gentle smile] I didn't think so.

Tohru Honda:
[after Ritsu transforms, Tohru is on the floor in a slight daze] Um... why did... why did she transform? I-I mean when she's a girl... um... [she groans as blood comes from her hand]

Ritsu:
[Gasps] Blood! Blood! [Faints]

Yuki S?ma:
Miss Honda!

Tohru Honda:
Um... what just happened...?

Ayame:
By the way, Yuki, I was talking to Hari and he gave me some wonderful advice and now I will impress you with my steadfast determination.

Kyo S?ma:
What determination?

Ayame:
Simple; my determination to forge a bond with my younger brother. [Points to Yuki] Yuki, as your older brother, I order you to respect me!

Tohru Honda:
[gasps as Kyo fell down] Kyo! Kyo, are you okay?

Kyo S?ma:
Dammit, I'm fine. I just stepped in a hole. [He looks down at it along with Tohru and Yuki]

Tohru Honda:
[stammering] T-That looks like a-a paw print! It's Jason!

Kyo S?ma:
Jason? Where?

Tohru Honda:
Jason!

Yuki S?ma:
[calmly] It's not Jason.

Yuki S?ma:
What could I learn from a stupid cat like you? You didn't even know that Jason isn't really a bear! He's a character in a horror film!

Kyo S?ma:
So what if I didn't know? Like I'd waste my time watching some dumb movie about a bear!

Yuki S?ma:
You truly are an idiot...

Kyo Sohma:
[mortified by Momiji] Idiot! What the Hell are you doin' wearin' a girl's uniform?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
[to Kyo, defending Momiji's decision to wear a girl's outfit to school] It suits him.

[Dark Haru emerges]

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Quit shoutin' like you're king of the friggin' world. You're makin' my ears bleed, you bastard. Now, I've got some common sense for you! If I wore a tie it wouldn't change who I am, if I had no piercings it wouldn't mean I'm nice, and if my hair was black it wouldn't stop me from kicking your ass. WHO do you think you are, anyway? Do you think you're God, huh?

[Dark Haru throttles the student class president]

Kyo Sohma:
Hey, cut it out! He's just an idiot!

Hatsuharu Sohma:
[to Makoto Maki] What would you do if it was Yuki wearing a girl's uniform, huh?

Yuki Sohma:
[darkly] Haru, cut it out or I will cut you off!

Hatsuharu Sohma:
[condescendingly] Aw, have my words made you angry?

Makoto:
You are a worthy opponent, Hatsuharu Sohma, but still, your hair is unacceptable and you'll never convince me that's your natural color!

[Haru promptly drags Makoto into the boys toilet. Silence. A moment later they come out]

Makoto:
[shaken] Impressive evidence! There's still many strange things in this world unknown to me.

Akito Sohma:
[dark, oily and dangerously quiet] But now that I have you here, Yuki, there is something I've been dying to ask you: Why did you skip the New Year's Banquet? Why did you think to do such a thing? I've been quite tolerant lately, have I not? And the fact that you would do something like that, you should know it hurts me deeply. Perhaps I need to take some time to re-educate you, in that little room, the one I keep especially for you.

Akito Sohma:
[darkly and evenly] Yuki, I DO hope you enjoy this new school year and I would be VERY happy if you paid me a visit sometime soon?

Kyo Sohma:
Wadda they need me for? They've got Yuki, don't they? I doubt anyone's gonna miss ME. They're all too busy looking to HIM. That's the way it always is, ever since we were kids. He's always been the smart one, and he knows how to get stuff done, and he's good with people, all that. And everybody around him's always telling him how talented he is and stuff. He doesn't even have to try and they all look up to him. Anyway, it's just like with martial arts. I've been training WAY longer than he has, but he's still better than me.

Tohru Honda:
[to herself] So Yuki wants to be like Kyo and Kyo wishes he could be more like Yuki. So why is it that even though they both secretly admire each other it just pushes them farther apart?

[Kyo sulks, feeling sorry for himself]

Tohru Honda:
Maybe the reason you don't see it is that it's stuck to your back. What I mean is, a person's admiral qualities - they're just like, say, a pickled plum on a rice ball. In other words the person's the rice ball and the plum's stuck to their back. So, all over the world you can have rice balls made with all sorts of wonderful ingredients, all different flavors and shapes and colors, but since they'd be stuck in the middle of everyone's back, someone could have a plum and not even know it. They'd look at themselves and think "I'm so plain, nothing but white rice," even though it isn't true because, turn them around and, sure enough, there it is. There's the plum. So if someone is jealous of somebody else, well, then, it's probably because it's easier to see the plum on someone else's back than it is on your own. Yup. I can see it. I can see it very clearly, Kyo. You don't know it but you have a great big plum on your back.

Yuki Sohma:
Could it be any weirder than me? It's freakish - a boy in a dress.

Schoolboy 1:
Don't even say that! You're the greatest.

Schoolboy 2:
Ah, man, if you were a real girl I'd be all over you, heh. I mean... you know.

Shigure Sohma:
[summing up Kyo's recent outburst] We've just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call Misdirected Rage. I believe the technical term is Being an Ass.

Kyo S?ma:
You are SO FULL OF IT!

[Kyo doesn't see why cooking duties should befall HIM now that Tohru's gone]

Shigure Sohma:
No, no, it's all right. If you don't mind letting the last of the wonderful beef stew that Tohru put her heart and soul into preparing for us get burned to a crisp, then neither do I. After all, I suppose burnt beef stew will be just as satisfying as burnt miso soup or burnt rice or burnt eggs or any of the fine burnt dishes Yuki used to make for us before Tohru fell into our lives. Ah, yes, we all seem to do quite well on our charcoal-rich diet. I'm sure there's no reason we all won't grow accustomed to it again.

Shigure S?ma:
After all, I suppose burnt beef stew will be just as satisfying as burnt miso soup or burnt rice or burnt eggs, or any of the fine burnt dishes Yuki used to make for us before Tohru fell into our lives. Ah yes, we all seemed to do quite well on our charcoal-rich diet.

Arisa Uotani:
Quit horsing around, you two.

Kyo Sohma:
Who asked you, ya dirty b*tch.

Arisa Uotani:
[muzzling Kyo] You're gonna talk to me like that after I came here to help you out of the goodness of my heart?

Yuki Sohma:
Shigure, Kyo and I will be going to the main house tonight. I'm sorry. I really should've explained earlier. It's sort of a Sohma family tradition. I, uh... I guess it was just such an obvious thing to us that we'd be going that we completely forgot to mention it.

Mii:
It's Hell. I'm in Hell. I just know it. Eternally damned. Fire and brimstone. Burning flesh. Abandon all hope.

Yuki Sohma:
In any event, if we go back to Sohma House tonight we'll have to stay until the third, won't we? So for three days we'd be leaving Miss Honda here all alone. Stupid cat, did you just realize that?

Kyo Sohma:
Don't call me stupid!

Yuki Sohma:
Then don't ACT stupid, stupid.

[as Shigure, Kyo and Yuki head toward Sohma House, their thoughts turn instantly toward Tohru left behind]

Kyo Sohma:
You know, she always used to leave that window in her room wide open.

Yuki Sohma:
What were you doing in her room?

Kyo Sohma:
[angrily embarrassed] I wasn't! I saw it from outside!

[Keenly aware of Kyo and Yuki's concern over leaving Tohru alone for three days, Shigure applies a little psychological torture for fun]

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, now that I think about it, there was an article in the evening paper about a rash of burglaries in the neighborhood. The culprit is still at large, or so they say.

Kyo Sohma:
[coming to a stop and thinking] Oh, great. If a burglar came to the house, she'd probably open up the front door and invite him in.

Yuki Sohma:
[also coming to a stop and thinking] She'd give him a seat at the table and serve tea, then, knowing her, she'd want to hear the burglar's whole life story.

Shigure Sohma:
[merrily amused by their inner turmoil] Well, let's be on our way, shall we? Can't leave you two standing in the middle of the street like that.

Kyo Sohma:
Why do you want to go to a school with all these crazy, giggling girls, anyway?

Yuki Sohma:
I suppose YOU'D prefer I live my life in fear of being transformed. You sound like Akido. He thought I should attend an all-boys academy, too.

Kyo Sohma:
[regretting yelling at Tohru] I'm just not meant to get along with other people, period, end of story.

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, sure. Some people just aren't, but you're not one of them. You lack experience, that's all.

Shigure Sohma:
[advising Kyo] My point is it takes just as much training to get along with people. Only training by yourself in the mountains won't do you any good. You need to surround yourself with others. As you get to know them, of course, you take a chance you'll end up hurting them or they'll end up hurting you. One of those things might very well happen. That's the only way we learn - about others, and about ourselves. You're a black belt in martial arts, but I'd guess you've still got a white belt in social skills. Someday you're going to meet someone who truly wants to be your friend or you be theirs, but if you don't keep training you won't be ready when that happens.

Kyo Sohma:
It'll never happen, anyway!

Shigure Sohma:
Ah-ahh! Never say never.

Kyo Sohma:
Okay. Fine. Maybe if I meet somebody with brain damage or something.

Shigure Sohma:
That's the spirit!

Shigure Sohma:
Kyo-o's a stalker! Kyo-o's a stalker!

Kyo Sohma:
You are SO FULL OF IT!

Yuki Sohma:
I wish you'd stop making YOUR inferiority complex MY problem.

Kyo Sohma:
I swear, every time you open your mouth it pisses me off!

Tohru Honda:
[to Yuki] An escort two nights in a row! I have to say, you and Kyo sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Ayame Sohma:
Oh, it's very interesting, the things people do in their private lives. Everyone has a secret or two they keep tucked away.

Yuki Sohma:
So, exactly, what kind of store IS this?

Tohru Honda:
But I hope they can talk to each other without fighting.

Mine Kuramae:
Well, even fighting is better than nothing. It's at least proof that they still acknowledge each other. That's what Ayame fears the most, you know. To... to have nothing.

Ayame Sohma:
Fear not, Yuki. I may smile in the face of adversity, but I'm no stranger to the hard work and dedication required to overcome it. After all, without years of diligent effort I'd hardly be the extraordinary person you see before you today.

Hatori Sohma:
Even within the Sohma family itself, there are few who know our secret in regard to the zodiac. It is exceedingly rare that a complete outsider, such as yourself, should come to learn of it. Ordinarily, this would have been corrected at once, but thus far it seems Akido has made an exception in your case. Tell me, do you enjoy living there in Shigure's house?

Tohru Honda:
Y-yes, VERY much.

Hatori Sohma:
All the more reason that you should leave. It would be best for you if you had nothing further to do with the Sohmas. Leave Shigure's house and return to your own family. That's only reasonable, is it not? Knowing Shigure, I doubt he would ever say anything to you, but there are many dark secrets within the House of Sohma. Life among us is not as pleasant as you seem to believe. An evil shadow looms over this family. That is the nature of our curse.

Tohru Honda:
Evil?

Tohru Honda:
It's been a strange day. It seems like I learned a lot but at the same time it still feels like I don't know anything at all.

[Because of Yuki's popularity, Tohru, Arisa and Saki check out his locker for Valentine candy but there's far less inside than they expect - only one gift]

Saki Hanajima:
Cuckoo chicks. The girls who visited this locker were all cuckoo chicks.

Yuki / Tohru / Arisa:
[together] Cuckoo?

Saki Hanajima:
You see, just like the cuckoo chick pushes another bird's egg out of the nest, these girls threw out any chocolates that were already here so that their own chocolates would get more attention. The proof is in the garbage can.

[They look; the garbage can is filled and mounded high with decoratively wrapped boxes of chocolate]

Arisa Uotani:
[observing the Prince Yuki Fan Club] Damn. Those fan club girls look scary today. They're either about to mug him or eat him. I can't tell which.

Tohru Honda:
[to herself] Valentine's must be a stressful day for members of the Zodiac, what with so many girls trying to give them presents.

Kagura Sohma:
Kyo? Ah, Kyo! Kyo-o-o-o! Darling! Yeah, my love!

Kyo Sohma:
Ah, Hell, she's HERE!

Shigure Sohma:
Kyo, behave, please. I don't want the house getting, you know, smashed.

Kyo Sohma:
Damn it! I shoulda left on that journey sooner. How was I supposed to know today was Valentine's?

Yuki Sohma:
It's called a calendar.

Kagura Sohma:
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, KYO! - A CHOCOLATE HEART STUFFED FULL OF MY LOVE - ALL FOR YOU!

Kyo Sohma:
Keep it! What man in his right mind would eat that girly, sugary crap?

Kagura Sohma:
[meekly] I'm sorry, but... do you... do you really not like chocolate, Kyo?

Kyo Sohma:
No! I hate it!

Kagura Sohma:
[freaking out] Shut up and eat it! Did you hear me? I said eat it, damn you!

Kyo Sohma:
No means no, woman!

Kagura Sohma:
Eat it!

Kyo Sohma:
No!

Kagura Sohma:
Eat!

Kyo Sohma:
Never!

Kagura Sohma:
Eat it!

Kyo Sohma:
You'll have to kill me first!

Kagura Sohma:
I'm starting to get angry!

Kyo Sohma:
No!

Shigure Sohma:
Oh, don't let what Kyo said bother you. You see, he THINKS he's being manly but, really, he doesn't have a clue what true manliness is. A real man would've eaten the chocolates without all this fuss. To refuse a gift, to trample on another person's heart like that, it falls short of being a human being, let alone a man.

Kagura Sohma:
When we were kids you asked me to marry you.

Kyo Sohma:
Only because you threatened to kill me if I didn't!

Kagura Sohma:
[without giving Kyo much chance to respond] You have to tell me - and be honest - do you love me? Do you hate me? Because I love you. I do - more than anything else in the whole wide world. I'll prove it. I'll cook for you every day. I'll do anything, even if you cheat on me. I can forgive a one-time fling. No one else loves you this much, do they? No! Just me! We should always be together, don't you think? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT YOU THINK - NOW SAY SOMETHING, DAMN IT!

Shigure Sohma:
Oh course, the real crisis here is that we won't be able to cook any dinner while the kitchen's wrecked. I guess we're just going to have to grit our teeth and call for take-out.

Kagura Sohma:
I dunno what to say.

Kyo Sohma:
Put on some clothes!

Yuki Sohma:
"Watch where you step." Oh, that's very good advice coming from the one who tripped FIRST, moron.

Kyo Sohma:
Hey! Like you're one to talk! We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't gotten in my way! The only reason I transformed is 'cause I tripped over YOUR clumsy ass!

Yuki Sohma:
"Clumsy?" YOU'RE the one who trained all that time in the mountains and you can't even walk down a path.

Kyo Sohma:
I can too! I survived out here for four months. You wouldn't last two days! You're on my turf now so shut up and pay attention. Ya might learn something!

Yuki Sohma:
What can I learn from a stupid cat like you? You didn't even know that Jason isn't really a bear. He's a character in a horror film.

Kyo Sohma:
Yeah? So what if I didn't? Like I waste my time watchin' a dumb movie about a bear.

Yuki Sohma:
You truly are an idiot.

Shigure Sohma:
At any rate, I though we might go to one of the Sohma spas or perhaps the lake house. How does that sound, Tohru?

Tohru Honda:
But I've already been on a trip to the hot springs. I couldn't go on another one. It would be too much.

Shigure Sohma:
And what a lovely trip that must have been. It's too bad I wasn't able to be there. I did sooo want to go, but now... I guess I'll NEVER get to take a trip with you.

Tohru Honda:
Okay, I'll go.

Yuki & Kyo:
[together] Have you no shame?

Shigure Sohma:
Not really.

Shigure Sohma:
So, now that that's settled, I thought it might be fun to travel by car. Don't worry. Leave all the driving to me.

Yuki Sohma:
Shigure, do you even HAVE a license?

Shigure Sohma:
Hmm... Of course I have a license.

Yuki & Kyo:
[together] WHY did you have to think about it?

Ayame Sohma:
Hey, Yuki, while I'm here, it's a perfect chance for us to deepen our bond as brothers.

Yuki Sohma:
I have a better idea. Why don't I drown you in the lake?

Ayame Sohma:
Anything you want, as long as it gives us some quality time together.

Yuki Sohma:
On second thought, go drown yourself!

Arisa Uotani:
I gotta say I didn't know what to make of all this when she told us, but it looks like Tohru's fitting right in here. I'm happy for her. And I guess I can understand why she didn't want to say anything at first; but, still, we made a promise. The three of us swore over Kyoko's grave: when the time came, we would be there to help each other, no matter what. That probably sounds a bit overdramatic, but it wasn't, really, for us. After all, Tohru was our first real friend and everything.

Yuki Sohma:
Miss Honda is... She's the kind of person who puts others' well-being before her own.

Arisa Uotani:
Why you rotten little... You and your cheap-ass tricks!

Kyo Sohma:
Cheap nothin'. That's fair game! You're the one playin' tricks, Yankee!

Arisa Uotani:
Next time you pull that crap I'm gonna light you up!

Kyo Sohma:
Go ahead and try! It'll be the dumbest thing you EVER did! I'll take you out!

Arisa Uotani:
Oh, yeah? Some tough guy! You're running away.

Kyo Sohma:
Who's runnin'? I'm goin' to the bathroom.

Arisa Uotani:
Ahh, gotta take a leak?

Kyo Sohma:
What's it to you?

Arisa Uotani:
Better hurry. We don't want you to piss yourself.

Kyo Sohma:
Damn it, you got a foul mouth!

Yuki Sohma:
Stupid cat!

Kyo Sohma:
Damn rat!

Tohru Honda:
I have a new home living here with the Sohmas, and I have the two most wonderful friends in the whole world who care about me so so much. Just knowing that I can always count on you to be there for me, and how much strength that gives me, I'm already so lucky. If I'm not thankful for what I have, I'd just be asking for it.

[It's morning, and Yuki's walking but he's barely conscious]

Tohru Honda:
Wow, Kyo, with as much as you want to beat Yuki, you still don't try to sneak up on him when he's like this. It's very admirable.

Kyo Sohma:
No, that's not it. It's not like that. He's stronger when he's half-asleep.

Tohru Honda:
Oh, so you HAVE tried to attack him, then.

Kyo Sohma:
[suddenly shouting] Yeah, I tried and I got beat even worse than when he's awake, okay? Do you know what that means? It means that stupid, dirty, little, sissy rat-boy's always holding back on me!

Ritsu Sohma:
I am so, so sorry. I can't seem to go anywhere without causing problems for everyone around me. I'm just a born troublemaker, I suppose. It's true. I'm so worthless I can't carry a paper bag. I don't deserve to share the same air with the rest of the human race. I'm a blemish on the face of the world. What was I thinking? A low-life like me should never have come to visit Shigure.

Tohru Honda:
So why is it that Ritsu dresses like a girl?

Shigure Sohma:
Because he feels more comfortable that way. Ri is naturally a very timid person, and when he's dressed like a girl he doesn't feel as much pressure to be assertive.

Ritsu Sohma:
Oh, dear God, please punish me. Send a bolt of lightning to strike me down.

Tohru Honda:
Poor Ritsu. He has such a sweet smile, and I'm so glad I got to see it because I don't think it happens too often.

Tohru Honda:
Yes, were you going to say something?

Ritsu Sohma:
No, no, Tohru, you were going to say something first.

Tohru Honda:
No, really, I don't mind. Please, go right ahead.

Ritsu Sohma:
No, really, that's all right. After you, please.

Tohru Honda:
Oh, no, I just couldn't.

Ritsu Sohma:
Me neither.

Tohru Honda:
Um, you know, for some reason I don't think this is really getting us anywhere.

Tohru Honda:
I heard that President Takei's been telling everyone that he'd like YOU to be the one who replaces him, but you haven't decided to run yet, have you?

Yuki Sohma:
Well... I don't know. President Takei and the others... I think they're expecting something more from me than I can give them. I mean, if they knew the real me then they'd know.

Tohru Honda:
Know what?

Yuki Sohma:
[suddenly realizing he's spoken private misigivings aloud] Uh? Oh, it's not important. Forget I said it.

[Tohru and the boys discuss the beginnings of Kisa's problems at school]

Momiji Sohma:
She looked different from everyone, so they made fun of her.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
I guess that's just another part of the zodiac curse for those of us with different-colored hair. I used to get made fun of a lot.

Yuki Sohma:
Yes, but whenever the other kids tried to pick on you, you would go black and chase them around the schoolyard.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
It's better than Kyo. He would actually beat them half to death.

Yuki Sohma:
[reading the letter from Kisa's teacher] "I hope you will learn to feel good about yourself." What is that supposed to mean? How are you supposed to find these good qualities, I wonder, if the reason you don't feel good about yourself is that all you can find are qualities you don't like? I don't think you can. Not like that. That's not how it works. I think what it takes is for someone else to say, "I like you." That's the only way you can truly begin to like yourself. When someone else accepts you, that's when you begin to see yourself - through THEIR eyes - and you begin to realize that there may actually be many qualities to like about yourself.

Child:
Tohru, you get to be the rice ball.

[Kyo speaks to the memory of his mom]

Kyo Sohma:
You were ashamed of me.

Kyo's Mother:
No, I... I love you. I would die for you. I-I love you so much.

Kyo Sohma:
Why is that all you ever say? You never really accepted me, not the real me. You were just saying all the things you thought a mom was supposed to say.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
"Go away?" "Leave me alone?" When did you become such a little pansy, huh?

Kyo Sohma:
You know, when you go black you're a real bastard!

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Oh yeah? Just for that, when I'm done with you, I'm gonna take your little girlfriend!

Kyo Sohma:
What the...? You're gonna WHAT?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Oh, you know, I'm gonna do this and a little of that, and I'm definitely gonna do THAT.

Kyo Sohma:
[to himself] Huh? What is he...? This is the same little brat that used to get lost on the way to the bathroom if I didn't take him, and now he thinks he's some kind of... I don't know what. He really is a bastard when he goes black. Who got him all worked up, anyway? Okay, I guess that was me. So why's he gotta bring Tohru into this? What's she got to do with anything? And what's he talkin' about all this "I'll do this, I'll do that" crap? What ever it is...

Kyo Sohma:
[aloud to Haru] You're sick!

Kyo Sohma:
[ramped up for a fight] Wipe that smug little smirk off your face before I come over there and do it for you. Yeah, you'll be sorry then, won't cha? And I'll make ya say it!

Yuki Sohma:
[calmly and deflectively] I'm sorry.

Kyo Sohma:
SHUT UP! You're a real wiseass, you know that?

Yuki Sohma:
At least I'M not the noisy idiot who's causing a scene in front of the store.

Kyo Sohma:
Oh, you've done it now, girly-boy! We're takin' this outside!

Yuki Sohma:
We're already OUTSIDE, you stupid cat.

Yuki Sohma:
[speaking of Kyo] That idiot. He just HAD to go and bring on Black Haru.

Tohru Honda:
B-b-b-black?

Yuki Sohma:
Haru's pretty easy to get along with, but once he's snapped he's uncontrollable. That's our nickname for him when he's like this - Black Haru.

Tohru Honda:
Uh, so, what you're saying is he's got the same sort of temper as Kagura?

Yuki Sohma:
Not at all. I'm saying he's a thousand times worse.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Get up, Kyo!

Kyo Sohma:
I've been up. Where the Hell were you?

Kyo Sohma:
And if it's a fight you want, you got it! Just bring it on!

Hatsuharu Sohma:
That's more like it, coward. It's about time you came around.

Kyo Sohma:
The day I knock that damn rat on his tail it's gonna be fair and square!

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Yuki and Kyo - do they still get in fist-fights everyday?

Tohru Honda:
No, but they argue just about every time they see each other.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Huh. Well, that means they're getting along a little better, at least. It wasn't long ago that the idea would have seemed pretty hopeless.

Tohru Honda:
No. Hopeless?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
That's how is seemed, but I can tell they've both changed since then. There used to be so much tension between them if they were in the same room you could feel it in the air. Things seem much more relaxed now. It could be because you're here.

Tohru Honda:
No, I doubt I've made THAT much of a difference.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Well, I can't prove that yet, but I haven't been around enough to see what's going on. I guess the reason isn't really important. I'm just glad to see they're being better, especially Yuki. He was my first love, after all. Nothing against Kyo, Yuk' is just very special to me, although when we were kids I couldn't stand him. I hated his guts.

Motoko Minagawa:
I love Yuki. I love his beautiful silver hair and the way it sparkles in the sunlight, his creamy white skin, the way his luscious lashes caress his cheeks when his eyes are closed, his sweet, sweet voice... I love everything. Yuki is my everything.

Motoko Minagawa:
I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really beautiful.

Motoko Minagawa:
Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

Motoko Minagawa:
[waxing rhapsodic over Yuki's photo, thinking of when she first met him] Ever since that day, I have been a slave to love. And my small pitiful heart - it has been filled to the breaking point with my love of you. Yuki... Ah, Yuki... It is my fate to be forever cursed and blessed by visions of your angelic face. Like a prick upon the thorn of a rose, your love...

Motoko"s Mother:
[bursting into the bedroom] For the love of... Keep it down, Motoko! You're waking the neighbors!

Motoko Minagawa:
Mother, haven't you ever heard of knocking?

Motoko"s Mother:
Sure. Knock, knock, knock! Can I come in, Princess Loudmouth? Now, enough of this silly crush of yours. Go to bed!

Motoko Minagawa:
I don't believe it! Yuki just smiled at me!

Yuki Sohma:
Miss Minagawa?

Motoko Minagawa:
Ahh, the sight of that smile is like a million volts down my spine. And what's more, we both like steamed leeks. It's as though we were destined to be together.

Yuki Sohma:
Miss Minagawa? I'm wondering. Is this something you do often?

Motoko Minagawa:
Hm?

Yuki Sohma:
That is, do you ALWAYS talk to yourself like this?

Motoko Minagawa:
I can't stand any other girl getting close to him, whether it's Tohru Honda or the girl who MIGHT join student council or the new fan club president. How can I choose another girl to take my place? I hate them all. All of them. They're enemies, every single one. But, really, the one I hate the most - is myself.

Yuki Sohma:
I'd say the people with REAL problems are the ones who produced this anime.

Shigure Sohma:
Ah! And who is this? Such a cute little girl. Would you like Grandpa Shigure to give you some candy?

Yuki Sohma:
Oh, stop it. The way you say that it makes you sound like a dirty old man.

Hiro Sohma:
You're not too quick, are you? Really! Everyone talks about you like you're somethin' special. I don't see what's the big deal. You don't seem that great to me. You're pretty dull.

Hiro Sohma:
Oh, and thanks for such a boring time. It was a blast.

Kyo Sohma:
Hiro, what're you doin' out here?

Hiro Sohma:
Why? Do I need a permit or somethin'? Do I have to have a reason to be here? Maybe I'm just sittin' here 'cause I want to - or is that some kinda crime?

Kyo Sohma:
Hey, Hiro, get it through your skull - she's not your maid! Quit bossin' her around! Why do you even come over here if all you're gonna do is complain? If you don't like it, go hang out somewhere else!

Hiro Sohma:
Oh, what's this? Since when did the cat get to be the boss of THIS house?

Tohru Honda:
I guess when they like someone, young boys do have some pretty strange ways of showing it, but still, I can't help but wonder if there's more to it than that. Along with all the confusion that comes with being a little boy, Hiro also has to carry the weight of living with a curse. That must be so hard on him, because - if he's anything like the other zodiac members I've met - inside that little body there could be a storm raging, a whirlwind of mixed up emotions, dark clouds of painful memories.

Kisa Sohma:
Then why did you want to come here?

Hiro Sohma:
Because I know that you like her so much.

Ayame Sohma:
[to Tohru] So you really do exist, the princess I've heard so much about, a single blooming flower trapped in a house of stinking men. Are they treating you well, princess?"

Yuki Sohma:
Big brother, you're being rude. Stop making fun of her.

Ayame Sohma:
"Making fun?" Honestly, I mean Tohru nothing but the highest respect. So, princess, how 'bout some tea? And lunch would be nice.

Yuki & Kyo:
[together] That's not respect!

Ayame Sohma:
Of course you're right. What was I thinking? Let me try agin: Come, Tohru! We're going out to eat!

Ayame Sohma:
As you know, Yuki and I don't get along very well. Or rather, I should say, we've never really been very close. You see, we're ten years apart, and when Yuki was born he got sick fairly easily, so he was kept separated much of the time.

Tohru Honda:
Separated?

Ayame Sohma:
I, on the other hand, grew up doing WHATEVER I liked. Because of our separation I was only vaguely aware that I even had a brother. By the time I realized it, a deep gap had formed between us that we've never been able to bridge. That is our story.

[Kyo woke up to find Ayame sleeping in his bed]

Ayame Sohma:
I'm sorry, but I had no other choice. Yuki locked the door to his bedroom, so I couldn't sleep in there.

Kyo Sohma:
Why the Hell didn't you go to Shigure's room like yesterday?

Ayame Sohma:
Because, if I had, Shigure would have kept me up all night.

Shigure Sohma:
[smiling] Hey, uh, not in front of the children, please.

Kyo Sohma:
Oh, cut it out!

Yuki Sohma:
[to himself] Just ignore them. IGNORE them!

Kyo Sohma:
How much longer you stayin' here, anyway?

Ayame Sohma:
Don't worry, if it bothers you THAT much, tonight I'll sleep in Tohru's room.

Yuki & Kyo:
[together] You will NOT!

Momiji Sohma:
Hey, Haru, is it weird for Aya to leave his shop? I mean, he IS the owner.

Tohru Honda:
Oh? So, you mean, Ayame runs his own business?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
That's right. He sells outfits for nurse, stewardesses, maids - things like that.

Tohru Honda:
So then he makes uniforms?

Hatsuharu Sohma:
Well, uh, not exactly.

Momiji Sohma:
Ayas's. He makes fantasies come true.

[Ayami recalls his most notorious day as student council president]

Ayame Sohma:
[addressing a committee] For a group of minors to set foot in a red light district, this is by no means an act to be praised. Laws are put in place to be obeyed, otherwise we lose order. And with that being said, I must also express my concern over what I see as a condemnation of our natural human instincts. I submit that the desires that led these boys astray were fueled by, perhaps, the most noble of human instincts - the instincts to procreate the species. Should we damn them for feeling these natural urges?

Student:
[admiringly] President!

Committee Man 1:
Ayame, you're being unusually serious today.

Committee Man 2:
Yes. Quite a departure from your normal antics.

Ayame Sohma:
At this time I would like to offer you a proposal: Let us offer hand of rescue to these wayward youths; let us help them to understand their sometimes confusing natural desires. From now on, let them direct their desire toward me! As a chosen representative of this student body, it's only fitting that the heavy burden should fall on my shoulders. And furthermore, since we will all be boys, parents and teachers will have nothing to fear. So send me your desire. In the service of my fellow students, I am prepared to receive!

Committee Man 1:
He's gone mad.

Committee Man 2:
He insane.

Committee Woman:
Get him out of here!

Ayame Sohma:
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Don't worry. Despite how it looks, I know what I'm doing.

Ayame Sohma:
What do you think, Yuki? Has this helped you to understand your older brother?

Yuki Sohma:
I think you should leave.

Kazuma Sohma:
It seems things have gone well in my absence. I must admit I was worried, but he surprised me - the expression I saw on his face today.

Akito Sohma:
Tell me, I've been wondering, don't you think it's time, time we revealed that freak cat's true form?

Kazuma Sohma:
Yes. I agree. It may be at that.

Akito Sohma:
[smirking] I wonder what she'll do when she sees it. I can just imagine the look on her face. She won't be able to stand it. She'll probably never be able to set foot in that place again, and when that happens Yuki will be very sad, won't he? Poor thing.

Kyo Sohma:
Why? Why do you care so much about me, anyway? It's crazy. Most people... Most people don't want to have anything to do with me.

[Now that Kuzuma's back, Kyo asks eagerly if they'll both be returning to the dojo together]

Kazuma Sohma:
No, Kyo. You will continue living here.

Kyo Sohma:
Wadda you mean? You promised!

Kazuma Sohma:
This is the best place for you to live right now, I think. The environment here has done you good and will continue to do so. I think you know it, too. Whether by coincidence or fate, I believe that you have come to live in this house for a reason.

Kyo Sohma:
But I hate it here! Even the damn air in this place is smothering me. I hate it. I just want to get outta here.

Kazuma Sohma:
[to himself] No, I don't think it's that at all, Kyo. It's not hate.

Kazuma Sohma:
Tonight. I plan to do it tonight. And whatever happens, I thought I should warn you in advance.

Shigure Sohma:
I see. So what led you to this decision all of a sudden?

Kazuma Sohma:
Today, looking at his face, I saw something there I didn't expect to see. I think this girl could open his heart and accept him. The time to act is now, while the opportunity exists, or so I have determined.

Kazuma Sohma:
[quietly] I wonder if you might be so good as to loan me a moment of your time this evening.

Tohru Honda:
[simply, innocently, openly] Sure.

[opening scene]

Tohru Honda:
They're animals! All of them!

Delivery Guy:
Yes they are. You don't see many animals around here, now that you mention it you don't see to many girls around here either...

[same scene]

Tohru Honda:
Call a doctor, or a vet, or anybody! Oh, Mr. Postman, it's terrible! You see, they're animals!

Postman:
[amused] Uh, yes, they certainly are. Here's your mail.

Shigure Sohma:
Whenever our bodies come under a great deal of stress, or when we're hugged by a member of the opposite sex, we transform. After a little while we change back. The only thing is, uh...

[Flash! Flash!]

Shigure Sohma:
...we're naked. Well, we must seem pretty strange to you at this point, huh?

Yuki Sohma:
[to Shigure] Since when have you been so talkative about our family matters? You're planning on erasing Miss Honda's memories, aren't you, just like in the old days?

Yuki Sohma:
Since when do we have a rice cooker?

Tohru Honda:
I found it in the trash.

Kyo Sohma:
[enraged] You think it's FUN jerkin' me around like that!

Shigure Sohma:
Now, hold on! It wasn't... Okay, it was a little bit fun, but that's not why I did it - it was for your own good. And don't forget it was Akido's decision.

Kyo Sohma:
Shut up! I don't give a damn about Akido!

Tohru Honda:
Oh, um, are you hungry? I made you some lunch.

Kyo Sohma:
SHUT UP!

[Kyo storm out]

Momiji Sohma:
Hey, Tohru's sick today, so she had to stay home and get her rest, but everything's okay because I'm here to take her place. I can clean really good, too, so for today just pretend I'm Tohru.

Kyo Sohma:
[reading] Hm, let's see. "What you should do when you have a cold. If you have a cold or a fever, the best thing to do is eat plenty of leeks. A good serving of leeks will help you feel better in no time." D'ah!

[Reads another book]

Kyo Sohma:
"To cure a cold, eat some leeks. Stewed leeks or leek soup are the best." THIS says leeks! THAT says leeks! Everywhere I look it says leeks! I mean, WHAT! CAN'T THEY THINK OF SOMETHIN' BETTER TO DO FOR A COLD THAN EAT A DAMN, STINKIN' LEEK? How's THAT supposed to cure ANYTHING - it's the NASTIEST food in the WORLD!

Shigure Sohma:
[on the phone, feigning illness] Ohh, Mii, I've come down with a terrible cold. And since I'm not feeling well, I was wondering if we could move our deadline to next week?

Mii:
Next week? No, I'm sorry, but we can't wait that long.

Shigure Sohma:
[coughs] Ohhh... What? Could you repeat that? I'm getting dizzy. Everything's going black. I think I'm dying.

Mii:
What? Are you all right, Shigure? Shigure, speak to me!

Shigure Sohma:
Hold on. What's this? Kyo, what in the world are you doing?

Kyo Sohma:
[wearing mask and goggles] What does it look like? I'm making leek soup.

Shigure Sohma:
LEEK soup? Um, is that for Tohru?

Kyo Sohma:
You really think I'd cook this crap for myself? YEAH, it's for Tohru.

[Shigure stands agog but silent]

Kyo Sohma:
What's that look for? You got sump'in' you wanna say?

Shigure Sohma:
[meekly] Um, no. Not really. Just wondering what you're making US for dinner.

Kyo Sohma:
[snarling] Nothing! We'll order out!

Kyo Sohma:
[regretting hurtful words spoken to Tohru] Why are you crying?

Tohru Honda:
I'm so sorry.

Kyo Sohma:
[kneeling in supplication] What is it? Go ahead. I'll listen.

Kyo Sohma:
Just get better or I won't be happy.

Saki Hanajima:
[responding to a bunch of girls heckling Tohru] Leave before I *bleep* you with my posinon arrows.

Shigure Sohma:
There, isn't that better? Yuki's still looking for some ice, if you want it.

Tohru Honda:
I'm sorry.

Shigure Sohma:
You must be tired. It's a lot to happen in one day.

Tohru Honda:
Mm-hm. I... I lost my home again.

Shigure Sohma:
Are you ok?

Tohru Honda:
Yes. It's sad... but... not as sad as other things.

Shigure Sohma:
Like what?

Tohru Honda:
Like... not telling mom "be safe" on the day she died. I said that every morning: "bye! be safe!"... except that day, I didn't say it. I had a test. So I stayed up studying almost the whole night. And when it was time for mom to go to work, I didn't wake up. I couldn't tell her "be safe". And she never came home. I used to think about quitting school. Working. Mom told me she didn't finish school... but she always wished that she did.

Kyoko Honda:
That's why I need you to stick with it, so you can tell me what it feels like to hold that diploma in your hand. And then, maybe, you can have the life I never got to have.

Tohru Honda:
When she said that, that's when I knew. Why she worked so hard. It was all for me. And with everything she did... I couldn't even get up long enough to say "goodbye" as she was walking out the door. Not even that one little thing... and then she was gone. So now, I have to finish high school like mom wanted me to no matter what. I have to hold that diploma in my hand. I have to... for her. I can't give up... just because... of a fever... like this.

Arisa Uotani:
What's up? What did those girls want?

Saki Hanajima:
They SAID they're doing a special report on electric waves for the school newspaper, and they wanna interview me. They asked if they could come to my house this afternoon.

Arisa Uotani:
Huh? And you actually believe that?

Saki Hanajima:
Well, no. I can sense that they all have something much more sneaky in mind.

Arisa Uotani:
So, are you letting them come over?

Saki Hanajima:
Of course I am. I have something sneaky in mind, too.

Motoko Minagawa:
Phase one of our master plan is complete. We must document this occasion.

Narrator:
The prince Yuki Fan Club - an unofficial organization within Kuwaya High dedicated exclusively to Yuki Sohma. The membership of this club includes over half the girls in the school. When the club was initially founded, its main focus was simply to have and protect the Prince, but over time its members have become more and more obsessed with having Yuki for their very own. In that regard, the club's motto is: We Shall Prevail.

Motoko Minagawa:
Repeat: Do not touch the Prince's belongings.

Girls:
[repeating] Do not touch the Prince's belongings.

Motoko Minagawa:
Repeat: Do not enter the Prince's house.

Girls:
[repeating] Do not enter the Prince's house.

Motoko Minagawa:
Repeat: Do not speak to the Prince unless accompanied by at least two other members.

Girls:
[repeating] Do not speak to the Prince unless accompanied by at least two other members.

Motoko Minagawa:
When speaking to the Prince, address him as follows: third years - Yuki.

Girls:
Yuki

Motoko Minagawa:
Second years - Prince Yuki.

Girls:
Prince Yuki

Motoko Minagawa:
First years - Prince Yuki Sohma.

One Girl:
Prince Yuki Sohma.

Narrator:
Any girl at Kuwaya High who violates these rules runs the risk of punishment, whether she is a member of the club or not.

Motoko Minagawa:
Hail to the Prince.

Girls:
Hail to the Prince.

Motoko Minagawa:
B-before we can stop the witch we have to destroy the source of her dark power. The she-devil - Electric Girl.

Motoko Minagawa:
Does, uh... well, does Megumi have the same sort of electric wave powers as you, uh ha... ah ha-ha?

Megumi Hanajima:
No, I don't. But I can do something else. I can put curses on people. I've worked hard for a long time, perfecting my technique, and now I am quite good at it.

Motoko Minagawa:
We - the four of us - we really like Yuki. We love him. Can't you understand how much it hurts us when we see Tohru with him all the time? It's like... it's like she thinks she can have him all to herself - but she can't. Prince Yuki belongs to all of us.

Megumi Hanajima:
You say that, but if he truly belonged to you, would you be here fighting to hold onto him? You say that you love him, but if you did would you really want to take his friends from him? Would you try to force your will upon him to make yourselves happy without any regard for HIS feelings?

Motoko Minagawa:
Don't you Good Afternoon me! Just 'cause you scared us yesterday, doesn't mean we're through.

Saki Hanajima:
No, I'm sure it doesn't. By the way, curses don't take effect for three days.

Saki Hanajima:
Strange. It's been an entire year and still it's hard to believe she's gone.

Yuki Sohma:
I remember the day of the accident. One of the teachers came and called her out of class. They talked at the door for a minute and then they ran out. Her two friends went running after her. For a little while, everyone in class was silent. I remember thinking at the time maybe someone in her family's been hurt, but it was just a passing thought. Back then I barely even realized she existed. She was just one of the girls in class, the one called Tohru Honda. How could I have known that one day we'd be living in the same house, that we'd get to know one another like we have?

Kyo Sohma:
You can't have a picnic on a grave!

Arisa Uotani:
Huh? What's the big deal? Come on. Kyoko will LIKE it if we make a little noise before we leave.

Arisa Uotani:
[watching Tohru, Kyo and Yuki head home] You DO know, it's bound to happen one day, one of 'em's gonna tell her he likes her.

Saki Hanajima:
Oh, no, no. I'm afraid I simply could NOT allow my Tohru to take either one of those boys.

Arisa Uotani:
So, what, are you her mother now?

Saki Hanajima:
I really meant that half joking.

Arisa Uotani:
So you were half serious.

Saki Hanajima:
It's their signals. I can still sense something that troubles me. There are many conflicting emotions hanging like dark clouds around their hearts. I suppose that's true of every person to some extent, but with those two it seems to be rather extreme, and as long as those dark clouds remain I'm not sure they can ever truly share their hearts with another.

Tohru Honda:
None of the Sohmas talk about their parents much.

Momiji Sohma:
You see, Mama doesn't exactly know who I am.

Momiji Sohma:
Did you know, children cursed by the zodiac, when they're born they're always born two months premature? Imagine what that was like for her. She'd been married to the man she truly loved, they were havin' their first child together, and she must have been so worried when the baby came early; and, then, after all of that, the first time she tried to hold that baby, to see it change into a strange animal - how horrifying would that be to a new mother, ANY mother.

Tohru Honda:
Yes, all of my memories are precious to me. Every. Single. One.

Young Akito:
I've never seen anything so ugly. And that smell - awful. It smells like something dead and rotting. It's the cat's evil spirit. This is its true form.

Kyo Sohma:
She SAW me. She SAW me! She SAW me! It's over now. It's all over. There's no hope.

Yuki Sohma:
He's the cat and I'm the rat. We were BORN hating each other. That's the way it's always been and that's the way it'll always be.

Yuki Sohma:
Aren't you going after him?

Kagura Sohma:
No, I'm not. I've made up my mind. Kyo already knows I accept him, no matter what and no matter what form he's in. I mean, there isn't another girl in the whole world who loves him as much as I do, which is why I know that I can't help him. Right now the only one who CAN help, the person he needs the most, is Tohru.

Yuki Sohma:
Kagura...

Kagura Sohma:
I'm a member of the zodiac, the same as him, so for me to go to him now, it wouldn't give him any comfort. He needs to be accepted by someone else, someone who doesn't share our curse, and so all I can do is leave things up to Tohru.

Woman's Voice:
What was he thinking, adopting a boy cursed by the cat?

Kazuma Sohma:
Like Kyo, my grandfather was also cursed by the cat. For this he was treated as an outcast, alienated by his entire family, the pariah of the Sohma clan.

Tohru Honda:
I can't go back. I don't belong there. I never did. I don't belong there with them, in that house. I don't.

Saki Hanajima:
Go, Tohru, there's somewhere you need to be. You have to go.

Tohru Honda:
[sobbing] I can't. I just can't.

Tohru Honda:
Well, while we're here, maybe it would be fun to go out for a walk.

Hostess:
You wouldn't be the first to think so. Actually we've even had a few guests go walking who never made it back.

[Tohru gasps]

Momiji Sohma:
Tohru, you were supposed to laugh.

Tohru Honda:
Eh. Oh, it was a joke, heh-heh. How silly. Of course it was, heh.

Momiji Sohma:
Yeah, so don't worry. Really, they never lose guests for too long. There's a professional search party on call at all times.

Tohru Honda:
D'ye... what? You mean they have to send out search parties?

Momiji Sohma:
Tohru, that was a joke, too.

[Momiji twists Kyo's words to get him in trouble]

Hostess:
[livid] Ahhhhhhh! You should be ashamed of yourself! To think you would even suggest the idea of sharing a room with a young woman! And all this time - even if you are a kid - I thought you'd to be a decent young man! Since when have you got such lecherous ideas into your hea-e-e-e-e-e-e-ed?

Kyo Sohma:
Hey, hold on a minute!

Hostess:
[to the sky] I'm sorry, world! I must apologize on behalf of this dirty, rotten boy!

Momiji Sohma:
[sing-songy] Pervert! Kyo's a pervert!

Yuki Sohma:
Momiji, why don't we give Miss Honda some time to herself? After all, the reason we brought her here was to give her a chance to relax, right?

Momiji Sohma:
Right. I get it.

Yuki Sohma:
Ah.

Momiji Sohma:
[to Tohru] But tonight we'll sleep together, okay?

Kyo & Yuki:
[together] He doesn't get it.

Head Chef:
[suddenly shocked] Noooooo! This is inexcusable! I thought I'd seen to it that the young master's cuisine would be served with the hot foods hot and the cold foods cold. Only my complete lack of confidence as a chef could allow such a lukewarm dish to be served to you. I beg your forgivene-e-e-e-e-ess! May I be cut into a thousand pieces for this egregious act!

Hostess:
No, it's MY fault. I've clearly waited too long to serve your meal.

Head Chef:
No, it was MY fault!

Hostess:
It was MY fault!

Head Chef:
No, it was MINE!

[They fight]

Tohru Honda:
By any chance are those two...

Yuki Sohma:
Related? Yes, they're cousins. It's amazing the family resemblance.

Shigure Sohma:
[hanging up a maid's uniform] Well, here it is, my White Day present for Tohru. Lovely, isn't it? The poor girl's gone far too long without suitable clothing to wear while cleaning the house.

Hatsuharu Sohma:
It's amazing no one's locked you up yet.

Kazuma Sohma:

Yes, and I think that it’s time fore you to except it.

Kyo Sohma:

I do except it. I except that my life was over the moment I was born possessed by this d*** cat spirit! And I also except that it was all the rat’s fault! For everything that has happened to me!

Kezuma Sohma:

Then, let’s see if your life is TRULY,... over.

Kyo Sohma:

Don’t Look at me!

Hatori Sohma:

Kana and I, wish to be married.

Akito Sohma:

No! I won’t allow it! Hatori! Who, who did this to you? You! YOU did this! If Hatori looses sight in his left eye, it’ll be YOUR fault!

Shigure Sohma:

(Runs into the room) Akito! HATORI!

Akito Sohma:

Do you think YOU can break the Sohma family curse?!

Shigure Sohma:

Kana, get Hatori out of here!

Akito Sohma:

It’s your fault! It’s your fault! It’s all your faaauuult!!

Shigure Sohma:

If your going to commit suicide, try not to do it on my front porch.

Mii:

ZENZEI!!!

(Shigure holds up a bag of Valentines chocolates in front of Hatori’s door.)

Shigure Sohma:

Here Har’i, some Valentines chocolates from me to you!

(Hatori slams the door shut, and Shigure slowly opens the door with false waterfalls of tears running down his face.)

Shigure Sohma:

I was just kidding. They’re actually from Tohru. Please let me in.

Hatori Sohma:

(To himself) idiot.

Saki Hanajima:

My only weakness, is Tohru.

Machi Kuragi:

A person, who seems to be so very lonely. Despite being called “a prince,” despite being surrounded by so many people.

Kazuma Sohma:

Nobody loom at my son.

[Tohru turns her head to see Akito leaning out a window.]

Tohru Honda:

[to herself] Akito.

Shigure Sohma:

[looks over his shoulder] Tohru, you should stick with me. It’s easy to get lost in here.

[Tohru slowly turns her head to face Shigure]

Tohru Honda:

Shigure? What is the curse, exactly? Is there something that I’ve been doing that I should be?

Shigure Sohma:

No, Tohru, just be yourself.

To pity one is ashame. To love someone is a honor. It is a disgrace to care for out of pity. *** Fear not my love. There is someone out there for you.

Young Tohru:

I know! I won’t be a dog, I’ll be a CAT too!

Tohru Honda:

And I really meant it. I wanted to show the cat that no matter what, there was still someone who cared about him.

Shigure Sohma:

Hmm. Cute. I wonder what HE’LL think when he hears it.

Tohru Honda:

Huh? He?

Shigure Sohma:

You’re year of the dog right? See, I KNEW there was something that I liked about you. I mean, besides your pretty face—!

[Yuki comes up and drops his bag on Shigure’s head]

Yuki Sohma:

I’m sorry about Shigure, he’s a flirt, but he’s completely harmless. I promise.

Tohru Honda:

[to herself] Yuki Sohma, the “PRINCE” of MY High School.

[Shigure Sohma:
Yuki, what do you have in there? A dictionary?

Yuki Sohma:
Yes, two]

Shigure Sohma:

Oh, right. I should probably introduce myself. I’m Shigure Sohma. Yuki’s older, and much less violent cousin.

Tohru Honda:

Nice to meet you.

Yuki Sohma:

Anyways, what brings you to our home this fine morning Miss Honda?

Tohru Honda:

Oh, well, I live, nearby and... well, look at the time, I best be in my way. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.

[Tohru turns around quickly]

Yuki Sohma:

Wait, Miss Honda!

Tohru Honda:

Huh?

Yuki Sohma:

Why don’t we walk to school together?

Akito Sohma:

It’s frightening that there’s no guarantee that I’ll be loved.

[Repeated lines]

“Prince” Yuki Fan Club girls:

L-O-V-E! We love Yuki! Yuki! L-L-L-Love! L-L-L-Love! Love!

Shigure Sohma:

Because of my objectives, no matter what the obstacle will be... no matter who I use... even if the result will hurt someone, it will be fine with me.