Give or Take an Inch

Meg:
You can't really be surprised. Georgia's always seemed more of a man than a woman.

Charlotte:
You know, that's not really unique to some lesbians, but that doesn't mean they all should rush out and become men.

Meg:
Maybe you shouldn't act so angry around the kids.

Charlotte:
I'm not angry. I'm disgusted.

Meg:
Oh, that's better. But you need to tone it down a little.

Charlotte:
So what are you afraid of? That the kids will run around making rude sly comments about their freakish aunt/uncle or whatever the f*** she is?

Meg:
Let's just say that Danny doesn't need a reason to be a smart ass.

Charlotte:
You know, I just want things to be normal.

Meg:
You're kidding, right? You stole a man's pregnant wife: me. You saved me from a life of a lonely housewife.

Charlotte:
Come on Jackson. Surely you got something caty to say.

Jackson:
Oh no. I've become too much of a gentleman for that.

Georgia:
Gentleman? Come on. If only our dear mother were still alive to see that her only son would fulfill becoming the belle of the bald.

Jackson:
Not her only son anymore.

Jackson:
Can't you see mother's face? She's be more horrified that a third child of her was homosexual.

Virginia:
Kind of took all the sport about being the favorite.

Charlotte:
Well, third time is not the charm. After Jackson and Georgia's dramatics, my comming out should have been a non-event. But on no, I thought Mama's head was gonna explode.

Georgia:
You were the baby girl.

Charlotte:
Still am.

Jackson:
Charlotte, when the town drunk widow raises four kids on her own, three of whom turn up queer, you pretty much get sloshed out of that normal set.

Charlotte:
Well, what's wrong with striving for normalcy and respectability?

Jackson:
Do chicks write about you and the tragedies you get, or was that Danielle Steele?

[everyone, but Charlotte, laughs]

Charlotte:
Yeah, just go on Jackson. Laugh. Just slush down champaign like it was water or go hack off body parts for reassignment.

Jackson:
All right, Charlotte that's enough! What the hell crawled up your ass?

Georgia:
No, no, no, Jackson. It's okay. My lesbian community has been far from supportive too about my decision.

Charlotte:
Supportive? You're chopping off your breasts and God knows what else. This is not what I would call a normal turn of events. Hello! This is crazy! Can't anyone see that?

Virginia:
Charlotte, I feel you would be a little more compassionate.

Charlotte:
Well, I think ya all are out of your minds! Now, I'm sorry Georgia feels trapped inside her body. I'm not exactly thrilled with mine either. But ya gotta dance with the one that brung ya darling!

Jackson:
Oh, how foxy!

Charlotte:
Changing your gender is not the answer, regardless of the question. This is gonna cause way more problems than it's gonna solve. Just when God was teetering on the verge of forgiving us queers for f***ing each other, you have to go and pull this sh*t!

Virginia:
Oh, grow up! This not an all-about-Charlotte moment. Life hasn't turned out well for any of us. I know this is hard for you, Charlotte. But it really isn't about you. So, be a member of this family or don't. But do not come into my house and tell us how we "should" be. Mother is dead!