Good Will Hunting

Sean:
Do you have a soul mate?

Will:
Define that.

Sean:
Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.

Will:
Sure, I got plenty.

Sean:
Well, name them.

Will:
Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner...

Sean:
Well that's great. They're all dead.

Will:
Not to me, they're not.

Sean:
You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.

Will:
Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.

Will:
I read your book last night.

Sean:
So you're the one.

Skylar:
My father died when I was thirteen and I inherited this money. Did you ever think that everyday I wake up, that I wish I could give it back, that I would give it back in a second, if it meant I could have one more day with him? But I can't. And that's my life and I deal with it.

Sean:
Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

Chuckie:
I didn't get on Cathy last night.

Will:
No?

Chuckie:
Nah.

Will:
Why not?

Chuckie:
I don't know.

Chuckie:
Cathy!

Cathy:
What?

Chuckie:
Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?

Cathy:
Oh, f*** you and your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.

Will:
Do you like apples?

Clark:
Yeah.

Will:
Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

Billy:
You're legally allowed to drink now so we figured the best thing for you was a car.

Morgan:
My boy's wicked smart.

Chuckie:
Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll f***in' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll f***in' kill you.

Sean:
So what do you really want to do?

Will:
I wanna be a shepherd.

Sean:
Really.

Will:
I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.

Sean:
Maybe you should go do that.

Skylar:
I can be in the NBA. I'm tall, I like to wear shorts. Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I'm all about three points.

Sean:
If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will f***ing end you. You got that, chief?

Will:
Time's up.

Sean:
Nail them while they're vulnerable, that's my motto.

Sean:
See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.

Chuckie:
So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and sh*t on the wall.

Morgan:
Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all f***ing bombed and been drinking. What the f*** is she gonna think about us?

Will:
Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.

Will:
Do you buy all these books retail or do you send away for, like, a shrink kit that comes with all these volumes included?

Chuckie:
You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're too big of a p*ssy to cash it in.

Will:
Oh, come on! What? Why is it always this? I mean, I f***in' owe it to myself to do this or that. What if I don't want to?

Chuckie:
No. No, no no no. F*** you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this sh*t. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a p*ssy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do f***in' anything to have what you got. So would any of these f***in' guys. It'd be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a f***in' waste of your time.

Sean:
And why does he hang out with those retarted gorillas, as you called them, because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a f***ing bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty.

Sean:
Look, if you're gonna jerk off, why don't you do it at home with a moist towel?

Will:
Do you play the piano?

Skylar:
A bit.

Will:
Okay, when you look at a piano you see Mozart, right?

Skylar:
I see "Chopsticks."

Will:
Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.

Skylar:
So what are you saying? You play the piano?

Will:
No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.

Skylar:
But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.

Will:
Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.

Will:
Does this violate the doctor-patient relationship?

Sean:
Not unless you grab my ass.

Will:
You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for a buck fifty in late charges at the public library.

Will:
See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna staht doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, don't do that. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f***in education you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library

Lambeau:
Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

Will:
So, when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?

Sean:
October 21st, 1975.

Will:
Jesus Christ. You know the f***in' date?

Sean:
Oh yeah. Cus' it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.

Will:
Yeah, sure.

Sean:
My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.

Will:
You got tickets?

Sean:
Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin' in a bar, waitin' for the game to start, and in walks this girl. Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.

Will:
Yeah, yeah.

Sean:
And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin' at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin' at the ball like a madman.

Will:
Yeah, I've seen...

Sean:
He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes apeshit, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?

Will:
Yeah, and he's f***in' bowlin' police out of the way!

Sean:
Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get 'em away!" Banging people...

Will:
I can't f***in' believe you had tickets to that f***in' game!

Sean:
Yeah!

Will:
Did you rush the field?

Sean:
No, I didn't rush the f***in' field, I wasn't there.

Will:
What?

Sean:
No - I was in a bar havin' a drink with my future wife.

Will:
You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?

Sean:
Oh yeah.

Will:
To have a f***in' drink with some lady you never met?

Sean:
Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.

Will:
I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's game six!

Sean:
Oh, Helen of Troy...

Will:
Oh my God, and who are these f***in' friends of yours they let you get away with that?

Sean:
Oh... They had to.

Will:
W-w-w-what'd you say to them?

Sean:
I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl."

Will:
I gotta go see about a girl?

Sean:
Yeah.

Will:
That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?

Sean:
Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.

Will:
You're kiddin' me.

Sean:
No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.

Will:
Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.

Sean:
I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer.

Will:
Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a sh*t. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Sean:
You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

Chuckie:
Wait, Bill. Hold it. Did you hear that?

Chuckie:
Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a f***ing beating!

Morgan:
What's up fellas?

Billy:
Morgan, why don't you jerk off in your own f***ing house. Man, that's f***ing filthy.

Morgan:
I ain't got a VCR in my house.

Chuckie:
Aw, c'mon, not on my glove.

Morgan:
I didn't use the glove.

Chuckie:
That's my Little League glove.

Morgan:
What do you want me to do?

Chuckie:
I mean, what's wrong with you? You'll hump a baseball glove?

Morgan:
I was just using it for clean-up.

Chuckie:
Stop jerking off in my mother's room!

Morgan:
Ain't there another VCR in the house?

Chuckie:
It's just sad bro.

Sean:
Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?

Will:
No.

Sean:
You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.

Will:
Why thank you.

Sean:
It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.

Will:
Nope.

Sean:
So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my f***ing life apart. You're an orphan right?

Sean:
You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a sh*t about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some f***in' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Lambeau:
Perrier.

Sean:
That's French for "club soda."

Chuckie:
Morgan, I'm not going to Kelly's just because you like the take out girl. It's fifteen minutes out of our way.

Morgan:
What the f*** are we gonna do that we can't spare fifteen minutes.

Sean:
My wife used to fart when she was nervous.

Henry Lipkin, Psychologist:
Now no more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo.

Will:
I'm pumped! Let the healing begin!

Sean:
Do you have a soul mate?

Will:
Define that?

Sean:
Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.

Will:
Yeah, Chuckie

Sean:
Chuckie's family would lie down in f***ing traffic for you.

Will:
What is this, a Taster's Choice moment between guys?

Sean:
I knew you long before you ever became a mathematical god, I knew you when you were pimple faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on!

Lambeau:
Yeah, yeah, you were smarter then me then and you're smarter then me now!

Lambeau:
Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you're smarter than me now. So, don't blame me for how your life turned out.

Sean:
I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid! And I won't see you f*** him up like you're trying to f*** up me right now! I won't let you make feel like a failure too!

Will:
I didn't ask for this.

Sean:
No, you were born with it. So don't cop out behind 'I didn't ask for this.'

Lambeau:
You're angry at me for doing what you could have done but ask yourself, Sean. Ask yourself if you want Will to feel that way, if you want him to feel like a failure.

Sean:
Oh, you arrogant sh*t! That's why I don't come to the goddamned reunions 'cause I can't stand that look in your eye. Ya know, that condescending, embarrassed look. You think I'm a failure. I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. I was a conscientious choice, I didn't f*** up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case. You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going, "The Field's Medal! The Field's Medal!" Why are you still so f***in' afraid of failure?

Sean:
I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole f***in' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will.

Sean:
There's honor, ya know, in taking that 40-minute so those college kids could come in the morning and their floors are clean and their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.

Will:
That's right.

Sean:
Right, and that's honorable. Sure that's why you took that job. I mean for the 'honor' of it.

Morgan:
If you were gonna fight them, why didn't you fight them back there? We got snacks now!

Will:
What the f*** do you want?

Lambeau:
My name is Gerald Lambeau. The guy who you told to go f*** himself.

Will:
Well, what the f*** do you want?

Will:
You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a f***in' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess f***in' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey hon, don't forget the coffee!"

Sean:
People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff.

Sean:
Put it on my tab

Sean:
Yeah, chief. I've got the winning lottery ticket right here.

Sean:
Twelve million.

Sean:
Yeah, but it'll cover your sex change operation!

Tom:
This is Professor Lambeau.

Skylar:
Do you have lots of brothers and sisters?

Will:
I'm Irish Catholic, what do you think?

Skylar:
But how many?

Will:
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Skylar:
Why? Go on, what, 5? 7? 8? How many?

Will:
I have 12 big brothers.

Skylar:
You do not have 12 brothers.

Will:
I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm lucky 13 right here.

Skylar:
Do you know all their names?

Will:
Do I... yeah they're my brothers.

Skylar:
What are they called?

Will:
Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.

Skylar:
Say it again.

Will:
Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.

Skylar:
...and Willy.

Will:
Willy? Will...

Morgan:
I swallowed a bug.

Chuckie:
All right, are we gonna have a problem?

Clark:
There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities, especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist and...

Will:
[interrupting] Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob’ly, you’re gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you’re gonna be talkin’ about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year, you’re gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin’ about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

Clark:
[taken aback] Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of —

Will:
..."Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County," Page 98, right? Yeah I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us — you have any thoughts of — of your own on this matter? Or do — is that your thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage and then you pretend — you pawn it off as your own — your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?

[Clark is stunned]

Will:
See the sad thing about a guy like you, is in about 50 years you’re gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f***in’ education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.

Clark:
Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.

Will:
[smiles] Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.

Gerry:
What do you mean, he didn't talk? You were in there for an hour.

Sean:
He just sat there, counting the seconds until the session was over. It was pretty impressive, actually.

Gerry:
Why would he do that?

Sean:
To prove to me that he doesn't have to talk to me, if he doesn't want to.

Gerry:
... What is this, some kind of staring contest between two kids from the old neighborhood?

Sean:
Yeah, it is. And I can't talk first.

Will:
[about Skylar] Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.

Sean:
So, call her up, Romeo.

Will:
Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's f***in' boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like f***in' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.

Sean:
Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...[cracks up] Oh God...

Will:
[laughing hysterically] She woke herself up?

Sean:
[in hysterics himself] Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the sh*t I remember. [Will stops laughing] Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too; she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not — aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old f***er like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.

Will:
Why not? You told me every other f***in' thing. Jesus Christ. F***in' talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.

Sean:
I teach this sh*t, I didn't say I know how to do it.

Will:
Yeah...You ever think about gettin' remarried?

Sean:
My wife's dead.

Will:
Hence the word: remarried.

Sean:
She's dead.

Will:
Yeah...Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.

Sean:
[smiles uncomfortably] Time's up.

Will:
So, when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?

Sean:
October 21st, 1975.

Will:
Jesus Christ. You know the f***in' date?

Sean:
Oh yeah. Cus' it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.

Will:
Yeah, sure.

Sean:
My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.

Will:
You got tickets?

Sean:
Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin' in a bar, waitin' for the game to start, and in walks this girl... Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.

Will:
Yeah, yeah.

Sean:
And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin' at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin' at the ball like a madman.

Will:
Yeah, I've seen...

Sean:
He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes apeshit, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?

Will:
Yeah, and he's f***in' bowlin' police out of the way!

Sean:
Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get 'em away!" Banging people...

Will:
I can't f***in' believe you had tickets to that f***in' game!

Sean:
Yeah!

Will:
Did you rush the field?

Sean:
No, I didn't rush the f***in' field, I wasn't there.

Will:
What?

Sean:
No — I was in a bar havin' a drink with my future wife.

Will:
You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?

Sean:
Oh yeah.

Will:
To have a f***in' drink with some lady you never met?

Sean:
Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.

Will:
I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's game six!

Sean:
Oh, Helen of Troy...

Will:
Oh my God, and who are these f***in' friends of yours they let you get away with that?

Sean:
Oh... They had to.

Will:
W-w-w-what'd you say to them?

Sean:
I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl."

Will:
I gotta go see about a girl?

Sean:
Yeah.

Will:
That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?

Sean:
Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.

Will:
You're kiddin' me.

Sean:
No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.

[pause]

Will:
Wow... [smiles] Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.

Sean:
[shrugs sheepishly] I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer!

Executive 1:
Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, we've already offered you a position..

Chuckie:
Since this is obviously not my first time in such altercations, let me say this: [rubs thumb and fingers together, signifying cash] Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

[The executives are silent]

Chuckie:
At the current time I am looking at a number of different fields from which to disseminate which offer is most pursuant to my benefit. What do you want? What do I want? What does anybody want? Leniency.

Executive 1:
I'm not sure--

Chuckie:
--These circumstances are mitigated. Right now. They're mitigated. [throws his hands up]

Executive 1:
Okay...

Chuckie:
[pointing to one of the executives] He knows what I'm talking about. A retainer. Nobody in this town works without a retainer. You think you can find someone who does, you have my blessin'. But I think we all know that person isn't going to represent you as well as I can.

Executive 1:
Will, our offer starts you at $84,000 a year, plus benefits.

Chuckie:
[singing] Retainer... [softly] retainer.

Executive:
You want us to give you cash right now?

Chuckie:
Whoa-oh-oh... ea--now I didn't say that. Allegedly, your situation — for you — would be concurrently improved if I had $200 in my back pocket right now.

[The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.]

Executive 1:
Well, I don't think I...Larry?

Executive 2:
I've got, uh... $73.

Executive 1:
Will you take a check?

Chuckie:
[to Executive 1] Let me tell you something. You're suspect. [He stands, slowly approaches Executives.] Yeah, you. I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the sh*t you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you. [Takes money off the table]. Now the business we have heretofore you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen, and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.

Skylar:
Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta' change.

Will:
Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have your fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.

Skylar:
Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your sh*t on me when you're the one that's afraid.

Will:
I'm afraid? What am I afraid of? What the f*** am I afraid of?

Skylar:
You're afraid of me! You're afraid that I won't love you back! F*** it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you.

Sean:
Do you have a soul mate?

Will:
Define that.

Sean:
Someone you can relate to.

Will:
Chuckie.

Sean:
No, Chuckie's family. He'd lie down in f***in' traffic for you. I'm talking about someone who opens things up for you.

Will:
Sure, I got plenty.

Sean:
Well, name them.

Will:
Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Connor, Kant, Pope, Locke...

Sean:
Well that's great. They're all dead.

Will:
Not to me, they're not.

Sean:
You can't give back to them. You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.

Will:
Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts. [laughs]

Sean:
Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. You'll never have that kind of a relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing 10 miles down the road.

Gerry:
In 1905, there were hundreds of professors renowned for their studies of the universe, but it was a 26-year-old Swiss patent clerk doing physics in his spare time who changed the world. Can you imagine if Einstein would have given that up just so he could get drunk with his buddies in Vienna? We all would have lost something. [gestures condescendingly to the bartender] Tim would never have heard of him.

Sean:
Pretty dramatic, Gerry.

Gerry:
No it's not, Sean. This boy has that gift, he just doesn't have the direction for it. We can give him that.

Sean:
Hey Gerry, in the 1960s there was a young man who had just graduated from the University of Michigan who was doing brilliant work in mathematics, specifically bounded harmonic functions. Then he went to Berkeley, where he was an assistant professor and showed amazing potential. Then he moved to Montana and blew the competition away.

Gerry:
Yeah, so who was he?

Sean:
Ted Kaczynski.

Gerry:
Never heard of him.

Sean:
Hey, Timmy?

Tim:
Yo.

Sean Who's Ted Kaczynski?

Tim:
The Unabomber.

Sean:
Right. My dad laid brick. Okay? Busted his ass so I could have an education.

Will:
Exactly. That's an honorable profession. What's wrong with...with fixing somebody's car. Someone can get to work the next day because of me. There's honor in that.

Sean:
Yeah, there is, Will. There is honor in that. And there's honor in, you know, taking that forty minute train ride so those college kids come in the morning and the floors are clean and the wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.

Will:
That's right.

Sean:
Right. And that's honorable. I'm sure that's why you took that job, I mean, for the honor of it. I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did you work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole f***in' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do, and then lie about it? Cuz' I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will. So, what do you really want to do?

Will:
I wanna' be a shepherd.

Sean:
Really.

Will:
I wanna move up to Nashua get a nice little spread get some sheep and tend to them.

Sean:
Maybe you should go do that.

Will:
What?

Sean:
You know, if you're going to jerk off, why don't you just do it at home with a moist towel?

Will:
You're chuckin' me?

Sean:
Yeah, get the f*** out.

Will:
Hey, no, no, no. Time's not up, yet.

Sean:
Yeah it is.

Will:
I'm not leavin'. No!

Sean:
Listen. You're not going to answer my questions, you're wasting my f***in' time.

Will:
What? I thought we were friends. Whaddaya mean you -

Sean:
Playtime's over, okay?

Chuckie:
Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In 20 years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll f***in' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll f***in' kill you.

Will:
What the f*** are you talkin' about?

Chuckie:
Look, you got somethin' that none of us —

Will:
Oh, come on! Why is it always this, I mean, "I f***in' owe it to myself to do this or that?" What if I don't want to?

Chuckie:
No. No, no, no. No, f*** you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50. And I'll still be doing this sh*t. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a p*ssy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to f***in' have what you got. So would any of these f***in' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hanging around here is a f***in' waste of your time.

Will:
You don't know that.

Chuckie:
I don't?

Will:
No. You don't know that.

Chuckie:
Oh, I don't know that? Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. You know what the best part of my day is? It's for about 10 seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.

Will:
[Sean is going through Will's profile. Inside we see are pictures of Will after brutal assaults by his foster parents] You ever have any, uh, experience with that?

Sean:
Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful sh*t.

Will:
No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?

Sean:
You mean, personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.

[Sean looks away for a moment]

Will:
I'm sure it ain't good.

Sean:
My father was an alcoholic. Mean f***in' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I would provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...

Will:
He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."

Sean:
Well, I gotta go with the belt there, Vanna.

Will:
I used to go with the wrench.

Sean:
Why?

Will:
Cause f*** him, that' why.

Sean:
Your foster father?

Will:
Yeah.

[pause]

Will:
[looking at his file] So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?

Sean:
Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?

[Will shakes his head, stares off]

Sean:
Will, you see this, all this sh*t?

[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]

Sean:
It's not your fault.

Will:
[Softly, still staring off] I know...

Sean:
No you don't. It's not your fault.

Will:
[Serious] I know.

Sean:
No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.

Will:
I know that.

Sean:
It's not your fault.

[Will is silent, eyes closed]

Sean:
[steps closer] It's not your fault.

Will:
[choking up] Don't f*** with me, Sean. Not you.

Sean:
[steps even closer] It's not your fault.

[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]

Will:
Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!

Sean:
F*** them, OK?

[Will and Sean hug at their last meeting]

Will:
Hey, does this violate the uh...patient-doctor relationship?

Sean:
Only if you grab my ass.

Will:
[voiceover, in a letter to Sean] Dear Sean, tell the professor sorry about the job. I had to go see about a girl.

Sean:
[chuckling] Son of a b*tch! He stole my line!

Gerry:
This is a disaster, Sean. I brought you in here because I wanted you to help me with the boy, not to run him out.

Sean:
I know what I'm doing with the boy.

Gerry:
I don't care if you have a report on the boy. I don't care if you have a few laughs, even at my expense, but don't you dare undermine what I'm trying to do here.

Sean:
"Undermine."

Gerry:
This boy is at a fragile point right now—.

Sean:
I do understand, he is at a fragile point right now, okay? He's got problems.

Gerry:
Well, what problems does he have, Sean? That he's better off as a janitor? Better off in jail? Better off hanging out with a bunch of retarded gorillas?

Sean:
Why do you think he does that, Gerry? Do you have any f***in' clue why? Mm?

Gerry:
He can handle the problems. He can handle the work, and he obviously handled you.

Sean:
Gerry, listen to me, listen. Why is he hiding? Why doesn't he trust anybody? Because the first thing that happened to him, he was abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him the most.

Gerry:
Oh, come on, don't give me that Freudian crap.

Sean:
Listen, Gerry, and why does he hang out with those "retarded gorillas" as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a f***in' bat to your head, okay? That's called loyalty.

Gerry:
Yeah, that's very touching.

Sean:
And who's he handling? He pushes people away before they have a chance to leave him. It's a defense mechanism, alright? And, for 20 years, he's been alone because of that. And, if you push him right now, it's gonna be the same thing all over again, and I'm not gonna let that happen to him.

Gerry:
Don't you do that, Sean.

Sean:
What, Gerry?

Gerry:
Don't you do that, don't infect him with the idea that it's okay to quit, that it's okay to be a failure, because it's not okay, Sean. If you're angry at me for being successful, for being what you could have been, Sean—.

Sean:
I'm not angry at you, Gerry.

Gerry:
Oh, yes you're angry at me, Sean. You resent me.

Will:
[appears behind door]

Gerry:
But I'm not gonna apologize for any success I've had. You're angry at me for doing what you could have done, but ask yourself, ask yourself if you want Will to feel that way. If you want him to feel like a failure.

Sean:
Oh, you arrogant sh*t. That's why I don't come to the goddamn reunions: 'cause I can't stand that look in your eye, y'know? That condescending, embarrassed look.

Gerry:
[under his breath] Oh, Sean.

Sean:
You think I'm a failure. But I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. It was a conscious choice. I didn't f*** up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case, you and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going [singing] "The Fields medal, the Fields medal!" Why are you still so f***in' afraid of failure?

Gerry:
[chuckles] It's about my medal, isn't it? Oh, God, I can go home and get it for you, you can have it.

Sean:
Oh, please don't. Y'know what Gerry? Shove the medal up your f***in' ass, alright? 'Cause I don't give a sh*t about your medal 'cause I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know which side of the bed to piss on.

Gerry:
Yeah, you were smarter than me then and you're smarter than me now, so don't blame me for how your life turned out, it's not my fault.

Sean:
I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid, and I won't see you f*** him up like you're trying to f*** up me right now. I won't see you make him feel like a failure, too!

Gerry:
He won't be a failure, Sean!

Sean:
But if you push him, Gerry, if you ride him—!

Gerry:
Sean, I am what I am today because I was pushed, and because I learned to push myself.

Will:
[opens door]

Sean:
[yelling] He's not you, you get that?

Sean and Gerry:
[look at Will suddenly]

Will:
I can... come back.

Gerry:
No, come in. I was just leaving.