Haunted Ranch

'Alibi' Terhune:
Has Dave said any more about enlistin'?

'Dusty' King:
No, but I look for him to the first time he gets to town.

'Alibi' Terhune:
Yeah, and I reckon you won't be far behind him.

'Dusty' King:
You aren't a-kiddin'. You know how I felt ever since the Maine was sunk.

[while heading for their long-overdue vacation, the Range Busters pursue and capture a murderous outlaw]

'Alibi' Terhune:
First it's bank robbers and now it's bushwhackers. Ain't we ever gonna finish our vacation?

'Dusty' King:
Sam, tell me, who's the cook around here?

Sam, the cook:
Me.

'Dusty' King:
Well, who's the foreman?

Sam, the cook:
Me.

'Dusty' King:
In other words, you do just about everything.

Sam, the cook:
Yes sir, I'm just a jack-in-the-box.

'Dusty' King:
No, you mean a jack-of-all-trades.

Sam, the cook:
No sir, I mean a jack-in-the-box. I'm always poppin' up on one job and sittin' down on another!

'Dusty' King:
You know, it's mighty funny. I thought Uncle Abe had a lot of money. I thought there'd be more help around here.

Helen Weston:
Sam said he always had 12 to 15 hands. After he died, the men here left one by one.

'Dusty' King:
They did?

Helen Weston:
Sam says they were scared off by ghosts. I don't believe it in, but according to Sam, some queer things have been going on here.

'Dusty' King:
Like what?

Helen Weston:
Oh, strange sounds at night, the organ playing with no one around, flickering lights near the barn.

'Dusty' King:
Sounds like barflies.

[Sam is preparing lunch]

Helen Weston:
Aren't you going to stay to eat?

'Dusty' King:
If you live through it, I'll take a chance on supper.

[Elmer, Alibi's ventriloquist dummy, is reading minds]

Elmer, Alibi's dummy:
Quiet! I got to concentrate here. You're thinkin' about somebody that's dead. Somebody named R... O... Roberts!

Henchman Chuck:
So what? Reno Red and Roberts are all the same guy.

'Alibi' Terhune:
Is that right? Do you know somebody named Roberts?

Rance Austin:
I used to. Go ahead... Tell me what I'm thinkin' about.

Elmer, Alibi's dummy:
I can't get it clear. No, I lost it... No, I get it. You're thinking about his money!

Rance Austin:
That dummy's too smart!

[referring to Alibi]

Jim, the bartender:
Say, he's looking for a job.

'Dusty' King:
Well, if you're interested, be sure and come out. I'll have a good job for you.

Elmer, Alibi's dummy:
How about me?

'Dusty' King:
Are you a cowhand?

Elmer, Alibi's dummy:
Oh, I've been a roper and a rider, a bulldogger and a fighter, a bronco buster and a dynamiter. Yippee!

'Dusty' King:
I'm sorry. You haven't had enough experience.

[referring to 'Alibi' and Elmer]

Sam, the cook:
Kind of a big man to be playin' with dolls.

[last lines]

'Dusty' King:
Hey, fellas, they're stealin' your horses!

[Alibi, Rex and Sam rush out of the house]

'Dusty' King:
Oh, pardon me, Helen, you know, that was just a gag. I don't like to say goodbye with so many people around... you know what I mean?

[bends over to kiss her]

Elmer, Alibi's dummy:
Hey, you know they're stealin' your horse, too, Dusty!