Having Wonderful Time

Frances:
Aren't you lucky. The nearest I'll get to a vacation this year is a far away look in my eye.

Frances:
Here comes old Ironsides.

Office Supervisor:
What's the matter? Is there something wrong with your machine?

Teddy Shaw:
Oh, no. Not at all.

Office Supervisor:
This is an office, girls, not a social hall. You've been here long enough to know that. Or, have you been here, too long?

Salesgirl:
This place must be getting a rep with classy ladies like that buying in here.

Dress Shop Owner:
They don't fool me. The talk is Park Avenue; but, the accent is strictly the Bronx.

Mrs. Shaw:
I'll go and make you some lettuce and tomato sandwiches.

Teddy Shaw:
Oh, never mind, Mom, it's only a few hours away. Gosh, you'd think I was going to Europe or something.

Mrs. Shaw:
You better take some heavy nighties, it gets pretty cold in the mountains.

Miriam:
May I? [Pulls postcards out of Maxine's hands]

Maxine:
They're just my impressions of the Camp.

Miriam:
Listen, Maxine, there ain't no j in gorgeous. No kidding.

Maxine:
Well, the people I'm sending them to won't know the difference anyway.

Miriam:
See you later.

Maxine:
So will I.

Henrietta:
Oh, the food here is unbearable. I just had them change my liver.

Buzzy Armbruster:
Don't go away. I'll be right back after I give Screwball, there, a workout.

Miriam:
Honestly, you must get a lot of pleasure out of making me feel unnecessary.

Buzzy Armbruster:
Oh, button the lip and and give me the body.

Chick Kirkland:
Well, I don't want you to spread it about, but, when I get to be President, I'm going to...

Teddy Shaw:
Oh, you're going to be President?

Chick Kirkland:
Yeah, haven't you heard? Of course, I gotta get a job first, but, eh, any how, I'm going to make everyone work for two weeks and then they can spend the rest of the year looking at the moon.

Teddy Shaw:
Oh, that's swell. Well, you got my vote.

Chick Kirkland:
And of course being President, I get special privileges. Not only do I get to look at the moon, but, I get to look at you, too. Oh, I beg your pardon, I didn't catch your name?

Teddy Shaw:
I know myself very well. And when you come right down to it, I'm exactly like those other hillbillies from the Bronx.

Teddy Shaw:
If you think I'm going to listen to any more propositions, you're crazy.

Chick Kirkland:
This isn't a proposition. This is a proposal. The ring. The minister. The works.

Teddy Shaw:
Oh, and I suppose you think just because I just lost my reputation, I would be glad to marry the first fellow that comes along.

Camp Waiter:
It's a vicious circle. Waiter by day. Gigolo by night. Well, I'm truckin'.

Camp Waiter I:
[Referring to the Camp Kare-Free Campers] They're like cannibals, all painted and looking for a white man.

Shrimpo:
Everytime I see one of those headhunters, my scalp itches.

Camp Waiter II:
You better watch out, Shrimpo, they'll have you speared. You may not be much, but, you do wear pants.