Home Alone 4

[The house is awash in water]

Kevin:
House, clean yourself up. [nothing happens] Well, it was worth a try.

[last lines]

Kevin:
I knew this was gonna be the best Christmas ever.

Kevin:
Robbers were trying to rip off your house!

Natalie:
So you chose to trash it?

Kevin:
No, I was trying to protect it!

Natalie:
By trashing it?

Vera:
Marv, I gotta pee.

Marv:
Vera, you can pee next week.

[Vera and Marv enter Kevin's room, which appears deserted]

Marv:
[whispering] I think there's somebody here.

Vera:
[yells] Anybody in here?

Marv:
No, not now. Shhhh.

Vera:
You shhhhhhhh.

Marv:
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Marv:
Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.

[Kevin is trapped in the basement with Mr. Prescott]

Kevin:
I don't understand. If they were so mean to you how come you never quit working for them?

Mr. Prescott:
I know you are young and that is the most obvious solution, but jobs are not always easy to find.

Dad:
Just because you grow up on the outside doesn't mean you want to stop having fun enjoying life.

Kevin:
I know all about the inner child dad.

Peter:
You do, huh?

Kevin:
That's why old guys drive sports cars.

Peter:
You're probably right.

Kevin:
But the trouble with sports cars, there's no room for anybody else maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip luggage and all you don’t even have room for a friend I mean there cool and fast and all but who wants to be in a nice car when you're alone all.

Marv Merchants:
[To Kevin] Shut up, you little moron!

Peter:
Kevin, what happened?

Kevin:
It wasn't me. It was the burglars.

Peter:
The burglars?

Kevin:
Yeah, and I recognized the one guy, Marv. Did I ever tell you about him? Well, that's another story. But the point is, they were gonna rip off your house!

Natalie:
So you chose instead to trash it?

Kevin:
No, I was trying to protect it!

Natalie:
By trashing it?

Prescott:
What in the name of...?

Kevin:
Hey, why didn't you come when I was calling you?

Natalie:
Prescott, were you aware of any burglars here today?

Prescott:
Burglars? No, ma'am. All the alarms were on as usual.

Kevin:
Well, maybe they turned them off. They had one of these, you know.

Prescott:
I saw no intruders, and except for... beg your pardon, ma'am, the briefest of all bathroom breaks, my eyes were on the monitors at all times. How one child could do so much damage in the time it took me to... Well, it's quite beyond me.

Kevin:
It wasn't me!

Prescott:
Well, there was no one else here!

Kevin:
He's lying!?

Prescott:
I am not!

Kevin:
Are too!

Prescott:
Am not!

Kevin:
Are too!

Prescott:
With all due respect, sir, I did see Master Kevin playing with the devices as if the house were a big toy. The only hooligan here today was your son.

Prescott:
Can you read? The door. "No Entry."

Kevin:
What, does that mean me?

Prescott:
Especially you. This is the control center from which I manage this entire household, as well as my personal quarters. Miss Natalie may have granted you run of her home, but this is my domain and strictly off-limits. Understood? Any more questions? Good.

Prescott:
What are you doing here? Tell me.

Kevin:
I, uh, I... Nothing. I swear. I thought all of this was cool. I wanted to take a look at it.

Prescott:
You don't go to other people's homes uninvited, and you don't touch their things. Didn't I warn you what would happen if I ever caught you in here again?

Kevin:
Not specifically.

Prescott:
Trust me. It won't be pleasant. What do you want?

Molly:
I thought I heard the boy. Ah! And indeed I did. I don't want him bothering you anymore, so I'll just get him out of your way. Come along, Kevin. He'll be my responsibility from now on.

Vera:
Hi, Molly?

Molly:
GET IN THERE!!!

Vera:
Marv, are you there?!

Radio:
Shut up, Vera.

Vera:
Well, okay. I was just trying to--

Radio:
Shut up, you moron.

Vera:
Hey, I'm no moron, you jerk!?

Radio:
Shut up, you bag!

Vera:
Door, open!

Marv:
What's wrong with YOU?!

Vera:
What's wrong with YOU?! I'm no bag! And you know what? You ain't no genius!

Marv:
Vera, honey...

Vera:
No, don't "Vera, honey" me!

Marv:
Honey...

Vera:
You're not even as smart as this kid, who, in case you hadn't noticed, is totally kicking our butts! Well, from now on, I am my own boss!

Marv:
Vera. Vera, honey...

Vera:
Don't "honey" me!

Marv:
Pumpkin. Pumpkin.

Molly:
Marv! Forget about her! Get the kid! I'll be outta here in a few minutes.

Kevin:
Bar, revolve sesame.

Kevin:
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Molly:
Good night. Aaaaaahhh!

Kevin:
[gasps] Mr. Prescott!

Prescott:
[to Kevin] At your service.

Kevin:
Boy, am I glad to see you.

Prescott:
Perhaps we should call the police.

Kevin:
Good idea, Mr. Prescott.

Prescott:
Just "Prescott" to you.

Kevin:
"Prescott"!

Marv:
Oh, come on. No, prison's not so bad.

Vera:
Oh yeah?

Marv:
Yeah, on Thursdays, you get Salisbury steak.

Vera:
Yeah, I know about prison. That's where I met you.

Marv:
Calm down. Calm down.

Vera:
You calm down!?

Marv:
[to officer] Women, eh?

Officer:
Yeah.

Vera:
Hey, don't touch me!

Natalie:
Peter, what's he done now?!

Peter:
Well, he saved the day, that's what. You should be thanking him.

Natalie:
Molly?! What in the world is going on?!

Detective:
It seems that they were gonna kidnap the prince. Best we can gather, she's the boss.

Natalie:
[shocked] She's MY maid! I'm HER boss!

Kevin:
Well, looks like you're gonna have to find a new maid.

Prescott:
And a new butler, I'm afraid. I resign.

Natalie:
Resign?! But why?!

Prescott:
Because as a wise young man once said, "Life's too short."

Molly:
Hey, don't touch me, officer!