Imaginary Larry

Betsy:
[First lines] You know what? You're right I always thought I'd need a cool job or money or exciting things to do or a boyfriend or even friends or goals in life or hobbies or a Ferrari Testarossa or a membership to Costco or a library card to be happy, but i don't.

Betsy:
I'm sorry, but I think we need to break up.

Kenneth:
This is our first date.

Kate:
Hate to say I told you so, but you're a f***ing moron.

Kenneth:
This is Alphons, I just made him up tonight.