Inglourious Basterds

Inglourious Basterds

Inglourious Basterds is a 2009 film about a team of Jewish-American commandos operating in Nazi-occupied France during World War II.

Genre: Adventure, Drama, War
Director(s): Quentin Tarantino
Production: The Weinstein Company
  Won 1 Oscar. Another 129 wins & 165 nominations.
 
IMDB:
8.3
Metacritic:
69
Rotten Tomatoes:
88%
R (Restricted)
Year:
2009
153
$120,523,073
Website
11,601 Views
Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France…
You haven't seen war until you've seen it through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino.
If You Need Heroes, Send In The Basterds
AN INGLORIOUS, UPROARIOUS THRILL-RIDE OF VENGEANCE
A basterd's work is never done.

Lt. Aldo Raine:
Ten-hut! My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm puttin' together a special team; and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've of heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doing one thing and one thing only … killing Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a f***in' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac, and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every sumbitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I am the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger, and that means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us, and the Germans won't be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans will be sickened by us, and the Germans will talk about us, and the Germans will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil that they've done, it will be with thoughts of us that they are tortured with. Sound good? [Soldiers yell, "Yes, sir!"] That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be-warriors: when you join my command, you take on debt, a debt you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps! And all y'all will get me one hundred Nazi scalps taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis, or you will die tryin'!

Col. Hans Landa:
The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German … more precisely, German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?

Perrier LaPadite:
I suppose I would.

Landa:
Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?

LaPadite:
Rats spread diseases. They bite people.

Landa:
Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?

LaPadite:
Oui.

Landa:
Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?

LaPadite:
No.

Landa:
But they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?

LaPadite:
It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.

Landa:
Ha! However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?

LaPadite:
Probably not.

'Landa:
I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide. But there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führers brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

Col. Hans Landa:
Now, my job dictates that I must have my men enter your home and conduct a thorough search before I can officially cross your family's name off my list, and if there are any irregularities to be found, rest assured they will be. That is unless you have something to tell me that makes the conducting of a search unnecessary. [A sudden pause with both of the men staring at one another] I might add, also, that any information that makes the execution of my duties easier will not be met with punishment. Quite the contrary, actually, it will be met with reward. And that reward will be your family will cease to be harassed in any way by the German military for the duration of our occupation of your country. [stares hard at LaPadite] You are sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?

Perrier LaPadite:
[softly and slowly] Yes.

Landa:
You're sheltering them underneath your floorboards, aren't you?

LaPadite:
[tears forming in his eyes] Yes.

Landa:
Point out to me the areas where they are hiding. [LaPadite points with his pipe shakingly; Landa walks over and stands on top of that area, gesturing with his own pipe for confirmation; silence] Since I haven't heard any disturbance, I assume that while they're listening, they don't speak English.

LaPadite:
Yes.

Landa:
I'm going to switch back to French now. I want you to follow my masquerade. Is that clear?

LaPadite:
Yes.

Landa:
[in French] Monsieur LaPadite, I thank you for the milk and your hospitality. I do believe our business here is done. [gathers up his belongings, walks over and opens the door] Ah, ladies. I thank you for your time. [booted SS soldiers walk inside with MP-40s; Landa gestures them over to the spot on the floor, where they take up positions] We shan't be bothering your family any longer. So, Monsieur, Mademoiselle, I bid farewell to you and say: adieu! [The soldiers aim down and shoot up the floorboards going back and forth]

Landa:
[holds finger to lips] Shh.

Landa:
The girl [he points at Shoshanna running from the basement to the open plains]

Shoshanna:
[Crying and screaming as she runs]

Landa:
[makes a serious face that turns into an evil smirk] [He points his hand gun]

[click, the gun doesn't fire]

Landa:
Ah, au revoir Shoshanna!

Lt. Aldo Raine:
Up the road apiece, there's an orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol f***ing around there somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a god-damn sniper's delight. If you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this here map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kind of artillery they're carrying with them.

Sgt. Werner Rachtman:
You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.

Lt. Raine:
Well, now Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me right now. Now, just take that finger of yours and point out on this here map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.

Sgt. Rachtman:
I respectfully refuse, sir.

Lt. Raine:
[rapping sound] Hear that?

Sgt. Rachtman:
Yes.

Lt. Raine:
That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You might know him better by his nickname: the Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.

Sgt. Rachtman:
I've heard of the Bear Jew.

Lt. Raine:
What did you hear?

Sgt. Rachtman:
He beats German soldiers with a club.

Lt. Raine:
He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat, what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one last god-damn time. If you still respectfully refuse, I'm calling the Bear Jew over. He's gonna take that big bat of his, and he's gonna beat your ass to death with it. Now, take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.

Sgt. Rachtman:
F*** you, and your Jew dogs! [The Basterds all laugh.]

Lt. Raine:
Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Quite frankly, watching Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to going to the movies. Donny!

Sgt. Donny Donowitz:
[from offscreen] Yeah?

Lt. Raine:
We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

Hellstrom:
[in German] I must say, I grow weary of these monkeyshines. [clicking sound] Did you hear that? That was the sound of my Walther. Pointed right at your testicles.

Lt. Archie Hicox:
Why do you have your Walther pointed at my testicles?

Hellstrom:
Because you've just given yourself away, Captain. You're no more German than that scotch.

Hicox:
Well, Major...

Bridget von Hammersmark:
Major...

Hellstrom:
Shut up, slut! You were saying?

Hicox:
I was saying that that makes two of us. I've had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down.

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz:
That makes three of us. And at this range, I'm a real Frederick Zoller.

Hellstrom:
Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here.

Hicox:
What's going to happen, Major... you're going to stand up and walk out that door with us.

Hellstrom:
No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. I'm afraid, you and I, we both know, Captain, no matter what happens to anybody else in this room the two of us aren't going anywhere. Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you'll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad.

Hicox:
[In English] Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the King's.

Hellstrom:
[In English] By all means, Captain.

Hicox:
There's a special ring in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as how I may be rapping on the door momentarily... [drinks his scotch] I must say, damn good stuff, Sir. Now, about this pickle we find ourselves in. It would appear there's only one thing left for you to do.

Hellstrom:
And what would that be?

Hicox:
Stiglitz...

Stiglitz:
Say "Auf Wiedersehen" to your Nazi balls!


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