Italian Job

Charlie Croker:
You've got no imagination. You couldn't decide what to do with all that money, so you had to get what everybody else wanted.

Stella:
I trust everyone. It's the devil inside them I don't trust.

Lyle:
I am The Napster.

Handsome Rob:
He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie

Charlie Croker:
Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.

Lyle:
Why not? You call him Left Ear.

Left Ear:
Well, I am.

Lyle:
And him Handsome Rob.

Charlie Croker:
Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!

Charlie Croker:
That's Lyle. He's my computer genius. You know he's who really invented Napster? At least that's how Lyle tells it. Said Shawn Fanning was his roommate in college and stole his idea. I think it's his first time riding that bike, though.

Lyle:
Hey.

Charlie Croker:
You okay?

Lyle:
Yeah.

Charlie Croker:
That's Left Ear. Demolition and explosives. When he was ten, he put one too many M-80s in the toilet bowl... lost the hearing in his right ear. He's been blowing stuff up ever since.

Charlie Croker:
Handsome Rob. Premier wheel man. Once drove all the way from Los Angeles just so he could set the record for longest freeway chase. You know he got 110 love letters sent to his jail cell from women who saw him on the news?

Lyle:
And then he's just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of wired magazine. you know what he said? he said he named it Napster because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, It's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn't even graduate.

Handsome Rob:
I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.

Lyle:
You'll never shut down the real Napster.

Left Ear:
This dude got dogs. I don't do dogs... I had a real bad experience, man.

Charlie Croker:
What happened?

Left Ear:
I had. A bad. Experience. Damn it. I'M deaf.

Stella:
I don't go out with strange men. I just met you 5 minutes ago.

Steve:
What, I'll just have to sabotage my cable till we get to know each other better?

Skinny Pete:
If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.

Steve:
What the f*** happened to my truck?

John Bridger:
You know, Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: those who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don't be the latter. Makes you miss out on what's really important in this life.

Charlie Croker:
What are you talking about, John? You've been a good father.

John Bridger:
Sitting in prisons doesn't make you a good father. I spent half my kid's life in prison. Don't get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie. Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever.

Steve:
You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise.

Charlie Croker:
Surprised?

Charlie Croker:
Don't you want to see what's inside?

Stella:
Absolutely.

Stella:
I never look inside.

Stella:
You know this was never about the gold.

Steve:
What ever helps you sleep at night sweetheart.

John Bridger:
I'm sending you something.

Stella Bridger:
Does it smell nice?

John Bridger:
No. But it's sparkly.

Stella Bridger:
Does it come with a receipt?

Charlie Croker:
A police boat can get from the station to our position in seven. That means you've got four minutes to work your magic.

John Bridger:
Now, you told me ten and you said that I would have five.

Charlie Croker:
When?

Charlie Croker:
Do not be messing with me right now. I will kick your ass.

Handsome Rob:
Come on, Charlie. They were at the same college at the same time.

Charlie Croker:
Why are you encouraging this?

Handsome Rob:
It's either bad traffic, peak traffic, slit-your-wrist traffic... you've got an average of 32 minutes and a top time of 50. But if we had green lights all the way, we could do it in 14 minutes.

Steve:
Don't shoot me!

Yevhen:
Shoot you? I'm not going to shoot you. No, I'm going to take you to my work. I have some machinery that you will be very interested in.

Stella:
What happened to your hand?

Charlie Croker:
I punched Steve.

Stella:
OH! Now how come YOU get to hit Steve and I couldn't?

Charlie Croker:
Because these hands are much too valuable.

Stella:
I want to see the look on that man's face when his gold is gone. He stole my father from me, I'm stealing this.

Steve:
How about dinner?

Stella:
You ask your last cable repair guy out to dinner?

Steve:
No. But he had a handlebar mustache and weighed like 300 pounds.

Lyle:
Nice car. Sorry Rob.

Charlie Croker:
Me? I've been a thief since I had baby teeth.

Actor Reharsing in Car:
Turn in your badge and your weapon. I don't want to see you anywhere near this investigation.

Actor Reharsing in Car:
Crush

Left Ear:
We're in Italy, speak English.

Handsome Rob yelling at the idiot actor running his lines while sitting at a red light. The light turns green and the guy just keeps on running his lines.

Handsome Rob yells at him:
"Oy! It's green! Green! (honk, honk) Unbelievable!"