Juggalo Championshxt Wrestling Volume 1

3D:
However, J and Shaggy own Psychopathic Records and the next thing you know, Tom Dub is being forced, and I underline forced, he is forced to wrestle, right there, Ding Dong Bundy, who looks like a giant penis in a broken black condom.

Violent J:
Remind me never to hire ugly fat b*tches again.

Gweedo:
And now Iron shiek mounting him like a fagg- oh wait it's a camel clutch!

Violent J:
This is Evil Dead. He's our f***in' dead body wrestler and he's gonna take it all.

Shaggy 2 Dope:
All we're saying is we own the federation. That's all we're saying.

Violent J:
That's right so everything goes our way. And if you don't like it, f*** you. So, what you gonna do when the Insane Clown Posse runs wild on you, mother facko?

3D:
and now that manager chick is gonna turn on Angel, as if anyone watching gives a f***!

Gweedo:
JCW, wrestling by the Juggalos, for the juggalos!

The Iron Sheik:
If you want to see Sheik put jabroni in Camel Clutch, give me hell yeah.

King Kong Bundy:
Yak, yak, yak, move over son, the great Bundy's got something to say. Who the hell is Tom Dub? I don't care if some record company, some perverts, a bunch of heroin addicts think that you're going to be using the great Bundy as a stepping stone. Son, you're going down, you're getting a five-count and don't ever think of doing anything in wrestling again.

Gweedo:
[During the Abdullah the Butcher-Rude Boy match] No sell, no sell.

3D:
Big sell!

Gweedo:
They should call you Tom Selleck.

3D:
There is speculation that Evil Dead is really Jumpsteady under a stupid rubber mask. Jumpsteady is the brother of Violent J. Violent J and Shaggy own JCW.

Gweedo:
The rules of this battle royal are simple. You get thrown over the top f***ing rope, you're out.

Truth Martini:
Can you believe this sh*t? Look what they're f***ing putting us into.

Terek the Great:
I know man, I know this is f***ing bullshit. I'm a f***ing cruiserweight wrestler. I wrestle in Japan. I don't need this sh*t. I'm not a f***ing stupid clown.

Truth Martini:
Look at this sh*t, this sh*t's f***ing choking me too.

Terek the Great:
Dude, I know, man this is f***ing bullshit. I ain't no f***ing clown.

Truth Martini:
I don't believe we're f***ing doing this.

Terek the Great:
Well, we are.

Truth Martini:
Let me let you in on something. I'm only doing it for the money

[rubs fingers together]

Terek the Great:
I'm gonna put it to you like this. I don't give a f*** about how much J and Shaggy are paying us to do this. I ain't going out there and f***ing jobbing for those two f***ers. They're not even wrestlers.

Truth Martini:
They got us jobbing?

Terek the Great:
They're not even f***ing wrestlers. I ain't jobbing for them. But wait, it's alright. I've got a plan up my sleeve. And let me tell you something, the Clowns' plans aren't going as smoothly as planned tonight. Trust me.

Truth Martini:
[laughing] Feeling better.

[laughing. Picks up costume]

Truth Martini:
F***!

'Luscious' Johnny Stark:
[Truth Martini makes his way out for the battle royal] You know, I hear that his big brother, Bad Boy Barry Brunzell, was thinking of coming to JCW.

Gweedo:
That's just speculation, Caruthis Martellini would never have him do that.

'Luscious' Johnny Stark:
[trying to hold back his laughter] Ok.

3D:
Terek lost the match and has to wrestle as Doink the F***, but we'll get to that later.

Gweedo:
[Fat F*** Barrel Boy makes his way out for the battle royal] Fat F*** Barrel Boy!

'Luscious' Johnny Stark:
Speaking of f***.

3D:
A big fat f***ing fat guy in a barrel, what could be better? JCW at its finest.