Kid

Rusty Duritz:
Isn't it cool we both have to go to the bathroom at the same time?

Russ Duritz:
Oh, yeah. This is a moment I'll cherish forever.

Rusty Duritz:
How old are you?

Russ Duritz:
Forty. In a couple days.

Rusty Duritz:
That is old! I'm turning eight. In a couple days.

Russ Duritz:
Eight. You're eight. I'm eight.

Rusty Duritz:
This is scary.

Russ Duritz:
No. This is hilarious.

Rusty Duritz:
So let me get this straight: I turn out to be a loser?

Amy:
I wish I was standing on a carpet.

Russ Duritz:
There's safety in sandwiches.

Russ Duritz:
Look at him. It's so embarrassing.

Amy:
You're not embarrassing. I think you're adorable... then. You're adorable then.

Rusty Duritz:
Holy smokes... 99 channels and nothing's on!

Russ Duritz:
Toshiya, let me ask you something. If you get called a jerk four times in a single day, does that make it true?

Amy:
What, only four? Did you get up late?

Russ Duritz:
Excuse me, I'm asking Toshiya.

Toshia:
Four times is a pattern. It have to be five times to be a fact.

Russ Duritz:
Thank you. See? There's hope after all.

Amy:
Jerk.

Russ Duritz:
Stop biting your nails.

Amy:
It's just one nail.

Russ Duritz:
When you bite your nails, you're advertising nervousness and insecurity.

Amy:
Really? Advertising all that with one little nail?

Amy:
What's this advertise?

Russ Duritz:
Stop biting.

Amy:
Leave me alone. I'm advertising terror and bewilderment.