Kung Fu Panda 3

Po:
Who are you?

Li:
I'm Li Shang. I'm looking for my son. [everybody gasps]

Po:
You lost your son?

Po:
Yes. Many years ago.

Po:
I lost my father.

Li:
I'm very sorry.

Po:
Thank you. [pause]

Li:
Well, good luck to you.

Po:
You too. I hope you find your son.

Li:
And I hope you find your father. [they both walk off, everyone facepalms]

[from trailer]

Li:
[wheezing] I am your father... Why're there so many stairs?

Mr. Ping:
Why is he breathing like that? It's creepy!

[from trailer]

Po:
Master Shifu? Good time, bad time?

Shifu:
Time is an allusion, there is only the now.

Po:
So now is a... good time?

Shifu:
Oh!

Kai:
[Kai has materialized in a vast field; two farmers cower in fear of him] What is this place?

Rabbit Villager:
Ah... my brother's farm?

Kai:
Ah. If I stepped on you, would you die?

Rabbit Villager:
[both cower as the Goose lays eggs in fear] Y-yes.

Kai:
The Mortal Realm. You hear that, Oogway? I'm back. Kai has RETURNED!

Rabbit Villager, Farmer Goose:
Who?

Kai:
Kai. General Kai. Supreme Warlord of all China!

Farmer Goose:
I dunno.

Kai:
The Jade Slayer. Master of Pain. You may know me as the Beast of Vengeance. Maker of Widows?

Farmer Goose:
Huh?

Kai:
Okay, I used to work with Oogway?

Rabbit Villager, Farmer Goose:
Oh, Master Oogway!

Farmer Goose:
He was a great warrior!

Rabbit Villager:
We've heard of Master Oogway, he's a...

Kai:
Okay, okay, enough. SILENCE! (both quiver in fear and Kai takes out Jombies you know Jade Zombies) Find Oogway's students and bring them to me (To Oogway) By the time I'm done with them Oogway there will be no one left who will even remember your name. KAI IS COMING!

[from trailer]

Mei Mei:
Get ready to dance... with danger!

Kai:
You must be the Dragon Warrior.

Po:
And you must be Kai. Beast of vengeance, Maker of widows.

Kai:
YES! Finally thank you. Almost makes me want to spare your life.

Po:
Oh you want to spare me huh? How about you spare me the chit-chat alright let's do this.

Kai:
I'm going to take your chi then the chi of every panda in the...

Po:
Augh! chit-chat

Kai:
In the...

Po:
Chitty-chitty-chat-chat, chat-chat-chat!

Kai:
In the...

Po:
Chit-Chat!

Kai:
You pudgy little (To Jade Zombies) Round them all up

Mantis:
[they stand outside a ship run aground in a desert after Masters Bear and Croc ran in] We gotta get in there.

Crane:
But Master Shifu said...

Mantis:
You seriously afraid? Even Master Chicken's going in there! And he's a chicken. (Gasps) That's it I'm going in. They need our help! I'll go high you go low Fear the bug! Alright you little uh oh

Crane:
Hold on buddy I'm coming

Mantis:
Antenna of power Ah it didn't work!

Crane:
Mantis! Mantis? (Whispering) Mantis (Gasps when he sees Kai behind him and fights him 1 time)

Kai:
Your chi is strong just like your friend the bug

Crane:
(gasps) Mantis! (Kai snaps him with 1 finger)

Kai:
Don't worry birdie I'll put your chi to good use destroying the Jade Palace and everyone in it

Tigress:
[to Po] Kai took the Valley, it's all gone... now he's coming for the Pandas... you MUST teach them to fight!

Po:
[leaps into a fight] Enemies of justice, prepare for... [sees he's leapt too far and is going over them]

Po:
Are you kidding me? [crashes]

Shifu:
You must take the next step on your journey, from warrior to teacher.

Po:
But I'm no good at it!

Shifu:
You're terrible at it!

Po:
Justice is about to be served! [at his dad's cafe]

Po:
We'll have two Justice platters, please.

Shifu:
If you only do what you can do, you'll never be better than what you are.

Po:
But I like who I am!

Shifu:
You don't even know who you are!

Li:
[to Po] You must rediscover what it is to be a panda!

Po:
There's no way I can stop him!

Li:
Unless you had an army of your own.

Po:
You don't even know kung fu!

Li:
Then you will teach us.

[sees Master Flying Rhino's armor]

Po:
I think I just peed a little!

Oogway:
[to PO] You must save the world.

Po:
Never under-estimate the impact of dramatic entrance! [Po made a dramatic move to kick open the door, door suddenly opens, oops it's Shifu!]

Kai:
Who are you?

Po:
I've been asking myself that question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? I'm all of those things. [Po's chi forms the shape of a dragon around him] I am the Dragon Warrior! Get it? You see the giant dragon?

[repeated line]

Big Fun:
I want some of that!

Mei Mei:
Look away! Look away! No, you can't, can you?

Crane:
[Crane is flying, with Mantis on his hat] Wings of surveillance!

Mantis:
Why do you do that?

Crane:
Do what?

Mantis:
Just 'cause you say "wings of" before something, it doesn't mean that you're doing a special move. It's like me saying "antenna of power!" or "thorax of... making sandwiches!"

Crane:
Wings of disagreement.

Shifu:
[Kai is destroying stone statues outside the Jade Palace] I will not let you destroy Oogway's memory!

Kai:
Why not? He destroyed mine.

Kai:
[to his jade zombies] Find Oogway's students and bring them to me. [to jade talisman of Oogway] By the time I am done with them, Oogway, there will be no one left who will even remember your name. Hahahaha, Kai is COMING!

Mantis:
[as he is turned into a jade zombie] Antenna of Power! Agh, it didn't work!

Kai:
[to Crane] Your chi is strong, just like your friend, [brandishes Mantis talisman] the bug.

Crane:
Mantis! [tries to attack Kai but is overpowered]

Kai:
Don't worry, little birdie. I'll put your chi to good use: destroying the Jade Palace and *everyone* in it.

Crane:
No! [kicks barrel at Kai, then flies off, but is caught] Wings of... Regret!

[first lines, Grand Master Oogway meditates in the Spirit Realm...]

Oogway:
Inner peace... inner peace... [a peach blossom petal lands on his nose] Itchy nose... [gently blows the petal away, but as he breathes in, it flies back into his nostril; he sneezes, and it flies off] Finally, inner peace... [sensing a blade coming at him] Now what? [catches the blade with eyes still closed...as he opens them, he sees a second blade coming. Using the first, he deflects both back to their owner...] Kai, old friend.

Kai:
[catches the returning blades] Master Oogway.

Oogway:
[bewildered] Our battle ended 500 years ago!

Kai:
Well, now I'm ready for a rematch.

Oogway:
Took you long enough! [laughs]

[Angered, Kai charges at Oogway, cutting through the floating rocks between them; Oogway manages to dodge]

Oogway:
You've grown stronger. [draws a symbol with his chi energy and launches it at Kai, who is unharmed]

Kai:
500 years in the Spirit Realm, you pick up a thing or two. [indicates his collection of jade pendants] I have taken the chi of every Master here!

Oogway:
[gasps, horrified] No!

Kai:
Yes! And soon, I will have your power, too!

Oogway:
When will you realize, the more you take, the less you have? [Anchoring himself with his chainblades, Kai smashes two floating rocks together on top of Oogway, whose chi shield dissipates; the chains wrap around Oogway, and he begins to petrify into jade]

Kai:
With your chi, I will finally be able to return to the mortal world. [pulls the chains holding up his green swords] And this time, you won't be there to stop me.

Oogway:
[warmly] Ahh... it was never my destiny to stop you. I have set another on that path. [Oogway petrifies completely, and his chi is absborbed by Kai; all that remains of Oogway is a small jade pendant]

Kai:
Then I will find him... and take his chi, too.

Po:
Who are you?

Li Shan:
[muffling]: Li Shan.

Po:
What?

Shan:
[swallows] I'm Li Shan. I'm looking for my son. [everybody gasps]

Po:
You lost your son?

Li:
Yes. Many years ago.

Po:
I lost my father.

Li:
I'm very sorry.

Po:
Thank you. [pause]

Li:
Well, good luck to you.

Po:
You too. I hope you find your son.

Li:
And I hope you find your father. [they both walk off, everyone face palms] Son? Oh, my gosh, it is you! Well, don’t just stand there. Give your old man a hug.

Po:
I can’t believe it. You’re alive.

[When Po is warned by Tigress that Kai is coming to the Panda Village, he walks up to his father]

Po:
You need to teach me the secret chi technique now!

Li:
No, no. I'm afraid you need more time. [to the pandas] Everyone, go get your things!

Po:
I don't have more time! I need to learn it now!

Li:
Sorry, you're not ready. [to the pandas] Pack everything!

Po:
I am ready!

Li:
Not quite.

Po:
[follows him on the bridge] What are you talking about? I've done everything you've asked. I've mastered napping, sleeping in, hammocks, hot tubs. I am totally at one with my panda parts! Why can't you show me now!?

Li:
Because I don't know it!

Po:
[becomes shocked at what he said] You... what?

Li:
I don't know it, okay? No one does! Maybe we used to, but... but not anymore.

Po:
You lied?

Li:
No, I... Yes.

Po:
Why?

Li:
To save your life! I find out some blade-swinging maniac was coming for you. What am I supposed to do, just let that happen?!

Po:
Yes! I'm the Dragon Warrior, facing maniacs! That's my job, but because of you, I left the valley unprotected. I left my friends unprotected, and now they're all... They're all... (They're all gone.)

Li:
(I know.) And you would have been, too! I lost you once, I am not going to lose you again. I can't. [tries to take Po to his hut, but he pulls away from him] (Po?)

Po:
You just did. [storms off]

Tigress:
This isn't going to work.

Po:
It has to.

Tigress:
You're not thinking straight.

Po:
I am!

Tigress:
[kicks his feet] You're not.

Po:
I am.

Tigress:
No.

Po:
Yes, I am.

Tigress:
No, I've seen Kai. I see what he can do.

Po:
But he hasn't seen what I can do. [Po does the Wuxi Finger Hold again, just like in the first film]

Tigress:
[confused] The Wuxi Finger Hold?

Po:
(What?) It's my best move. I just have to get to Kai, grab his finger, and then, skadoosh, back to the spirit realm.

Tigress:
[squeezes his hand] He has an army of jade warriors. Everything they see, he sees. So, there's no sneaking up on him. [pushes him down] He'll never get close enough.

Po:
It's gonna work. [gets up, but Tigress puts him down and puts her feet on him]

Tigress:
He can only be stopped by a master of chi.

Kai:
Who are you?

Po:
I've been asking the same question - am I the son of a panda, the son of a goose, a student, a teacher? Turns out... I'm all of them. [creates a Dragon avatar with his chi] I am the Dragon Warrior. Get it?! See the giant dragon? [laughs] Get ready to feel the thunder! Whoa! This is awesome!

[with Oogway's chi, Kai departs the Spirit Realm, and appears in a field; 2 farmers, a rabbit and a goose, cower in fear at him]

Kai:
What is this place?

Rabbit:
[uneasily] Uh... my brother's farm?

Kai:
Ah. If I stepped on you, would you die? [both cower; the goose, terrified, lays a pile of eggs]

Rabbit:
Y-yes...

Kai:
The Mortal Realm. [to the jade pendant of Oogway around his neck] You hear that, Oogway? I'm back! KAI HAS RETURNED!

Rabbit and Goose:
[confused] Who?

Kai:
Kai. General Kai, supreme Warlord of all China!

Goose:
I don't know.

Kai:
The Jade Slayer, Master of Pain, You may know me as "the Beast of Vengeance". [still no reaction] Uh... Maker of Widows?

Goose:
Huh?

Kai:
(Still nothing?) [exasperated] Okay, I used to work with Oogway--

Rabbit and Goose:
Oh, Master Oogway!

Goose:
He was a great warrior!

Rabbit:
We've heard of Master Oogway, he's a--

Kai:
[cutting them off] Okay, okay, enough, SILENCE!!!

[Outside an abandoned ship, after Masters Bear and Croc have run in to confront Kai]

Mantis:
You gotta get in there.

Crane:
But Master Shifu said–

Mantis:
You're seriously afraid? Even Master Chicken is going in there, and he's a chicken! [Master Chicken clucks, pulls out his wing blades and runs inside the abandoned ship]

[At the Jade Palace, an arrow with a scroll flies towards the courtyard, but is caught in midair by Monkey; a number of other arrows surround Shifu as he reads another scroll]

Monkey:
It's from the Eastern Province! [hands Shifu the arrow]

Shifu:
Master Lizard, Master Ox, Master Eagle... all of them. [snaps the arrow in half] In every village from the sea to here, every Master in China has vanished.

Monkey:
Maybe they are all at a party?

Viper:
Monkey!

Monkey:
I didn't get invited either.

Shifu:
Kai has taken their chi. We are all that stand between him and the knowledge Oogway left in our care. [to Tigress] The villagers, evacuated?

Tigress:
Done, Master.

Shifu:
Crane, Mantis?

Tigress:
Still nothing.

Viper:
[gasps] Wait, it's them! [Crane and Mantis fly in...but on closer look, they're both jade zombies]

Shifu:
[horrified] No! [the jade Crane and Mantis land in front of Shifu and the others - as a large figure emerges in the mist, blades whirling in his hands] Kai!

Kai:
[looks at the giant statue of Master Oogway] Nice. Very tacky.

Shifu:
How dare you set foot on these grounds?!

Kai:
[sneering] Look at you pathetic fools, groveling at the feet of Oogway the Magnificent.

Tigress:
You are not fit to speak his name!

Kai:
I am not fit, little kitten? [Tigress growls and tries to lunge at Kai but Shifu holds her back] I fought by his side. I loved him like a brother... and he betrayed me. [calmly] Well, now I will destroy... [shouting] ...Everything he has created!

Shifu:
Go! [All friends fighting attack at Kai]

Tigress:
How that for a little kitten?

Monkey:
Mantis! It is me, your bestie!

[Po prepares to use the Wuxi Finger Hold to send Kai back to the Spirit Realm]

Po:
Sorry, buddy. Gotta send you back to the spirit realm. Skadoosh! [flexes his pinkie, nothing happens] OK... That didn't work, let me try one more time. Skadoosh! Skadoosh, skadoosh...! What the...?

Kai:
Hold on, wait! It's working! No, no! [retches, then laughs] No, it's not. Did Oogway teach you that little trick? Too bad. It only works on mortals, and I... am a spirit warrior.

[final confrontation in the Spirit Realm]

Kai:
It took me 500 years to take Oogway's chi. I will have yours if it takes me 500 more!

Po:
[makes "chit-chat" gestures; his dragon avatar mimics the movement] Chitty-chitty-chat-chat, chit-chat! [Furious, Kai charges at Po, who begins to charge his chi energy] You want my chi so bad? Then take it! [channels his chi into Kai]

Kai:
[last words before his death] Yes! The power... is mine! [the jade pendants, the chi he has collected from the Masters, begin to break away from him] Wait! No! It's too much! It's TOO MUCH!! NO! UGH!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [Kai begins to glow, overloaded with power, as the pendant of Oogway floats away from him] Nooooo!!! [In a flash of light, Kai is destroyed; back in the panda village, the jade pendant of Master Bear emerges from the spirit realm and shatters, releasing him]

Master Bear:
[in combat stance] Who, huh, where'd he go? [Masters Chicken and Croc are returned as well, followed by Shifu, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, and Viper]

Viper:
We're back!

Monkey:
Besties!

Mantis:
I'm still green, it didn't work! Oh, wait, that's my normal green.

Lei Lei [grabs Mantis, makes him do "kissy face" with Po's Tigress action figure] Greenie baby!

Mantis:
No! Not a baby! Antenna of Fear! Antenna of Fear...

Li Shan:
What about Po?

Tigress:
Have you seen Po?

Viper:
No... he's not here.

Mr. Ping:
[worried] Po, Po? Why isn't he back?

[In the Spirit Realm, after destroying Kai, Po floats away; the jade pendant containing Oogway's chi shatters, restoring him]

Oogway:
Dragon Warrior.

Po:
Oogway? Whoa! [floats right into the water, and then back up] I can't believe it! [Oogway laughs] Whoa... you are extra shiny.

Oogway:
As are you.

Po:
I know, right? It's like the best cape ever. When I run with it, then it looks really cool.

Oogway:
It suits you. You've grown.

Po:
Yeah, gotta lay off the Panda Buffet.

Oogway:
Grown up... [chuckles] ...As I hoped you would when I sent the message to your (real) father.

Po:
(It was you?) You sent the universe mail. Whoa!

Oogway:
Yes. Because the universe needed you.

Po:
Me? W-why me?

Oogway:
You finally became the panda you were always meant to be.

Po:
But... how'd you know I could?

Oogway:
On the first day we met. I saw the future of kung fu... [flashback to the first movie, Oogway choosing him as the Dragon Warrior] ...And the past. [flashback to Oogway learning chi from the ancient pandas] I saw the panda who could unite them both. That is why I chose you, Po. Both sides of the yin and yang... and my true successor.

[Po returns to the mortal world]

Po:
Dad. Dad. Dads!

Li and Mr. Ping:
Son!

[Li Shan and Mr. Ping runs to Po and hugs him]

Mr. Ping:
Don't you go disappearing in petals ever again.

Li Shan:
We thought we lost you.

Po:
No, you saved me. you all did. [Po looks at everybody and Big Fun laughs] Now, come on over here!

[Everyone runs to Po]

Big Fun:
Hugs!

[Tigress, Monkey, Crane, Viper, Mantis and the pandas hugs Po]

Po:
Master Shifu!

Shifu:
The student has truly become the teach– [sees Oogway's staff] Wait, where did you get that?

Po:
Oh, this. Oogway gave it to me in the Spirit Realm.

Shifu:
[sighs] Of course he did...

Po:
I think I've mastered chi.

Shifu:
[sighs again, facepalms] Of course you did... [looks at him hopefully] Can you teach me?

[final confrontation in the Spirit Realm]

Kai:
It took me five hundred years to take Oogway's chi. I will have yours if it takes me five hundred more!

Po:
[makes "chit-chat" gestures; his dragon avatar mimics the movement] Chitty-chitty-chat-chat! Chit-chat! [Furious, Kai charges at Po, who begins to charge his chi energy] You want my chi so bad? Then take it! [channels his chi into Kai]

Kai:
[last words before his death] Yes! The power... is mine! [the jade pendants, the chi he has collected from the Masters, begin to break away from him] Wait! No! It's too much! IT'S TOO MUCH!! NO! UGH!!! :[Kai begins to glow, overloaded with power, as the pendant of Oogway floats away from him] NOOOOOOO!!!

Shifu:
My final class because from now on, your training will be in the hands of the Dragon Warrior. [points his staff at Po]

Po:
[nods and smiles for a second, then reacts in realization of shock; voice booming] WHAT?!?! [almost knocks Shifu back] Me, teach? I mean, why not Tigress? She's always telling everyone what to do.

Tigress:
Be quiet, Po.

Po:
See what I mean?

Shifu:
Tigress is not the Dragon Warrior. You are.

Po:
Come on, they're the Five! What can I teach them?

[The Furious Five are battered and burned in the training hall after Po failed to train them]

Viper:
[weakly] Good job, Po.

Po:
[nervously] Did you at least learn a little something?

Tigress:
[injured and burned; annoyed] Yes. That you can't teach.

Crane:
And Tigress is flammable, turns out.

Shifu:
I'm not trying to turn you into me. I'm trying to turn you into you.

[At the Jade Palace, Po, Shifu, and the Five are all in the scroll room, searching for some knowledge about Kai after their fight with his Jade zombies]

Shifu:
[looking around] Kai. Kai. Where is it? There's so much wisdom in here, I can't find anything. [finds a jade scroll] Yes. Behold. All the answers will be found within. [unveils the scroll] What? It's blank? Are you kidding me?! Not again! Wait, wait. Hold on. Sorry. Oh, ok, here we go. It's written in Oogway's hand. [reading] "Long ago, I had a brother…"

Monkey:
Oogway had a brother?

Shifu:
In arms. In arms. Sorry. He says, Brother-in-arms.

Mantis:
Can you just unroll it all at once?

Shifu & Oogway:
[in unison] "I was an ambitious young warrior…"

Oogway:
[narrating] …leading a great army. And fighting by my side was Kai, my closest friend. One day, we were ambushed. I was badly wounded. My friend carried me for days, looking for help, until we came to a secret village, high in the mountains. An ancient place of healing. A village of pandas.

[Shifu, Po, and the Five gasp]

Po:
Pandas?!

Oogway:
[narrating] Yes, pandas. Pandas who used the power of chi to heal me. They taught me how to give chi. But Kai wanted the power all to himself. He saw that what could be given could also be taken. I had to stop him. Our battle shook the Earth. Until, finally, I banished Kai to the Spirit Realm. Should he ever return to the mortal realm, he can only be stopped...

Shifu:
"…by a true master of chi."

[Tigress shows up at the Panda Village]

Mei Mei:
Who's she?

Lei Lei:
[gasps and runs to Tigress and hugs her] Big stripy baby!

Po:
What are you doing here?

Tigress:
Kai attacked the Valley. He's taken every master in China, including Shifu and the others. It's all gone, Po. Everything. Everyone.

Po:
Everyone?

Tigress:
Everyone.

Mr. Ping:
[concerned] How's my restaurant? [some pandas look at him, confused] We'll talk later.

Tigress:
And now he's on his way here. [to Po] He's after you, Po. He's after all pandas.

[All the pandas gasp in horror, fearing that Kai is coming to their village]

Kai:
So, Oogway, this was the one destined to stop me? I will have his chi. And then all of theirs! [cuts of the panda villagers' escape with his blade; to Po] And you... You really thought you can send me back to the Spirit Realm? You are just a stupid mortal.

Po:
It only works on mortals. You're right. I can't send you there. But I can take you there. What's that? [points out in the air, distracting Kai and everyone else; then jumps on Kai and headlocks him with his arms]

Tigress:
Po!

Li Shan:
Son!

Po:
Skadoosh! [lowers his pinky, releasing a yellow shockwave]

Li Shan & Mr. Ping:
SON!

Kai:
NO!

[A yin-yang symbol made of flower petals appear where Po last stood after the shockwave]

Li Shan:
What happened? Where's Po?

Tigress:
He took Kai away. He saved us.

Li Shan:
No.

Mr. Ping:
He saved us. But who's saving him?

[Li Shan, Mr. Ping, Tigress, and all the other panda villagers gather around to use their chi to help Po before Kai tries taking away his while in the Spirit Realm]

Li Shan:
Po… You taught us who we were meant to be. A father.

Tigress:
A friend.

Panda Cub:
A dumpling kicker.

Panda Grandmother:
A lethal fighting machine.

Big Fun:
A hugger.

Mei Mei:
A nunchuck chick.

Lei Lei:
Stripy baby.

Mr. Ping:
A family.