Life Is Beautiful

Guido:
What kind of place is this? It's beautiful: Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here!

Guido:
Buongiorno, Principessa! (Good Morning, Princess!)

Guido:
(pretending to translate a German concentration camp guard's instructions to the new prisoners) The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have to wear a sign that says "Jackass" on his back. There are three ways to lose points. One, if you cry. Two, if you ask to see your mother. Three, if you're hungry and ask for a snack. Forget it!

Dora:
My husband and son are on that train. I want to get on that train. Did you hear me? I want to get on that train.

Joshua:
Mum, we won, we won! (referring to the tank)

Eliseo:
Nothing is more necessary than the unnecessary.

Guido:
I forgot to tell you.

Dora:
Go ahead.

Guido:
You can't imagine how much I feel like making love to you. But I'll never tell anyone, especially not you. They'd have to torture me to make me say it.

Dora:
Say what?

Guido:
That I want to make love to you - not just once, but over and over again! But I'll never tell you that. I'd have to be crazy to tell you. I'd even make love to you now... right here for the rest of my life.

Guido:
Mary! Send down the key! (speaking to the woman in the window)

Dora:
(later) Mary! Send someone to give [him] a dry hat!

Man:
(snatches hat off Guido's head, exchanges hats)

Guido:
What are your political views?

Italian Official:
[speaking to his two sons] Benito, Adolf! Be good !... Sorry Guido, what did you say?

Guido:
(learning how to be a waiter) How far do I bow? I suppose I can even go 180 degrees.

Eliseo:
Think of a sunflower, they bow to the sun. But if you see some that are bowed too far down, it means they're dead. You're here serving, you're not a servant. Serving is the supreme art. God is the first of servants. God serves men, but he's not a servant to men.

Giosué:
"No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"?

Guido:
Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my Chinese friend and his pet kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Chinese or Kangaroos Allowed," and I said to my friend, "Well, what can I do? They don't allow kangaroos."

Giosué:
We let everyone in our shop, don't we?

Guido:
Well, tomorrow, we'll put one up. We won't let in anything we don't like. What don't you like?

Giosué:
Spiders.

Guido:
Good I don't like Visigoths. Tomorrow, we'll get a sign: "No Spiders or Visigoths Allowed."

Guido:
[being shipped to a concentration camp] You've never ridden on a train, have you? They're fantastic! Everybody stands up, close together, and there are no seats!

Giosué:
There aren't any seats?

Guido:
Seats? On a train? It's obvious you've never ridden one before! No, everybody's packed in, standing up. Look at this line to get on! Hey, we've got tickets, save room for us!

Giosué:
Look, they stopped the train to let Mom get on.

Guido:
Dora...

Riddles:
The more there is, the less you see.

Riddles:
The dwarves and Snow White sit down for a bite. How fast can you guess what she serves her guests next?

Riddles:
If you say my name there is no more. Who am I?

Riddles:
Fat, fat, ugly, ugly / truly all yellow / if you asreferring to cowardice, and 'quack, quack, quack' (in Italian- "coin, coin, coin") referring to himself as a doctor.

Guido:
Buongiorno, Principessa! LET ME GO WITH YOU (Good Morning, Princess!)

Guido:
Guido: You can do anything you want in the city. If you want to yell, yell. (His friend yells) Guido: Stop it! What are you, crazy? You can’t act like you do in the country. You’ve been acting like a madman. You can’t yell!

Guido:
Guido’s friend: Shopenhauer says that with willpower, you can do anything. “I am what I want to be.” Right now, I want to sleep, so I was saying to myself, “I’m sleeping, sleeping” and I fell asleep.

Joshua:
We got a thousand points and we won the game! Daddy and me came in first and now we won the real tank! We won! We won!

Bartolomeo:
They are looking for someone who speaks German, to translate their instructions.

Guido:
(raises his hand)

Bartolomeo:
Do you speak German?

Guido:
No.

Guido (to Giosue):
I told you we’re going to have fun.

Joshua:
(watching his uncle being sent to the gas chamber) Where is Uncle going?

Guido:
Uh... oh, he's playing on a different team. Goodbye, Uncle!

Joshua:
Goodbye, Uncle.

Joshua:
They turn us into buttons and soap.

Guido:
Who told you that?

Joshua:
An old man was crying. He said they turn us into buttons and soap.

Guido:
You fell for that? Again? I thought you were a sharp boy – cunning, intelligent. Buttons and soap out of people? That’ll be the day!

Guido:
The prize is... the prize is...

Eliseo:
A tank.

Guido:
Yes! Yes, the prize is a tank.

Joshua:
I already have one.

Guido:
No, a real one.

Joshua:
A real tank?

Guido:
Did you play with the other kids?

Joshua:
Yes, but they don’t know the rules. They said it isn’t true that the first prize is a tank. They don’t know anything about points.

Guido:
Did you fall for that? They’re as sly as foxes. They want to beat you. Are you joking? There’s no tank? Don’t you believe them!

Guido:
(carrying his son through the camp) You are such a good boy. You sleep now. Dream sweet dreams. Maybe it’s only a dream! We’re dreaming, Joshua. Tomorrow morning, Mommy will wake us up with milk and cookies.

Joshua:
Good morning, princess!

Dr Lessing:
Seven seconds!

Dr Lessing:
I have something important to tell you. Wait for my signal.

Dr Lessing:
Help me, help me. I can’t sleep. What is the answer?

Riddles:
Fat, fat, ugly, ugly, all yellow in reality. If you ask me what I am I answer, 'Cheap, cheap, cheap.' Wailing along I go, 'Poopoo'. Who am I? Tell me true.