Made of Honor

Melissa:
Service me b*tch!

[discussing the Bridemaid's dresses]

Melissa:
What's your dress size, Tom?

Tom:
I don't know. What's your jock size, Melissa?

[last lines]

Tom:
Oh, Monica...

Hannah:
Oh, Bill...

Dennis:
I can feel my sperm dying inside of me, one at a time.

Colin McMurray:
[after Colin dunks the ball] I'm sorry, that's probably not allowed... to just stuff it in there like that.

Tom:
Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.

Christie - Wife #6:
If you're a bad boy, I'm gonna spank you! [she spanks Tom]

Tom:
Ow! Ok, I've got something to say to you. [Hannah kicks him] Ow!

Christie - Wife #6:
Tom, I just want you to know that if you need anything, money, advice, help with girl problems, you can always come to me. I'd like you to think of me as a real mother.

Tom:
Alright, sure

[Tom's dad comes over]

Christie - Wife #6:
Oh, here he is!

Thomas Bailey Sr.:
She's just as drunk as the night we met.

[Tom starts to take a drink from his whiskey but Christie snatches it away and drinks it herself]

Tom:
Oh got right on ahead.

Thomas Bailey Sr.:
[Slaps Tom] You're a bad influence on her!

Tom:
Wha-? Me?

[Thomas Sr. and Christie walk off]

Hannah:
He knows that he can just date right?

Tom:
No, I don't think so. [They laugh]

Tom:
I have a theory.

Hannah:
Oh, Casanova has a theory.

Tom:
I'm sorry I can't break that rule. I have a rule about that.

Melissa:
Could someone please pass me the Splenda? [Tom offers her the sugar bowl] Could someone who is not a misogynist pass the Splenda?

Melissa:
[Stephanie takes the sugar bowl out of Tom's hand and passes it to Melissa] Thank you, Stephanie.

Hannah:
We won't be naming our child, Athol. Maybe when he's a teenager.

Colin's Father:
My mother's third cousin was the Duke of Athol.

Aunt Minna:
We're a long line of Athols.

Hannah:
You've slept with half my floor.

Tom:
Well, half your floor was female.