Man About the House

Mrs. Roper:
It's years since you touched that garden, George. It's only the bindweed keeping down the nettles that gives us a view of the broken fence.

Mrs. Roper:
[GEORGE IS COMBING HIS HAIR; MILDRED WATCHES HIM] Oh, changing your style are you? It used to be three hairs to the right and two to the left.

Mr. Roper:
Sarcasm goes right over my head.

Mrs. Roper:
Pity your hair doesn't.

Chrissy:
Getting a girl pregnant - that's exactly what a man would do!

Chrissy:
I am going for a bath. With any luck, I might drown.

Jo:
It's your fault. You mixed the punch.

Chrissy:
There was absolutely nothing wrong with that punch!

Jo:
Then why has the ladle turned green?

Mrs. Roper:
You know, it was a going-away party. One of the girls was going away. If *you* were going away I'd have a party.

Roper:
It's a pity you don't live in India. You'd be sacred, you would.

Robin:
Actually, I - [gagging slightly] I can't eat any more of this. It's kind of, you know... horrible.

Jo:
Oh, charming. Can you do any better?

Robin:
Yes. Right, let's see what we've got, shall we? [starts rummaging through the refrigerator] Ha! Eggs... butter... cabbage... shallots... Obvious, isn't it?

Chrissy:
Yes, it's obvious isn't it? He's gone mad!

Jo:
Who is he? Is he one of yours?

Chrissy:
No! No, I've never seen him before.

Jo:
Look, maybe he's a burglar.

Chrissy:
Oh yeah, he crept in after the bath plug and fell asleep on the job.

Robin:
[the Ropers have just agreed to allow Robin to stay with Chrissy and Jo] What did you tell him?

Chrissy:
[grinning mischievously] I just put his mind at rest. Mainly about the sex bit... the thing is, you're probably going to have to go on wearing that for the rest of your life.

Robin:
Why?

Chrissy:
I told him you're a poof.