Midnight Run

Alonzo Mosely:
Now listen, you a**hole. I've been working on this Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I'm gonna bring him into federal court. And I don't want some third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn't cut it as a cop in Chicago bringing him back to LA on some bullshit local charge. Do I make myself understood?

Jack Walsh:
Can I ask you something? These sunglasses: they're really nice. Are they like government issue, or do you guys all go to the same store together?

Alonzo Mosely:
What should be of prime importance to you is that you're looking at ten years just for impersonating an FBI agent.

Jack Walsh:
10 years?

Alonzo Mosely:
Yep.

Jack Walsh:
How comes no one's after you?

Jack Walsh:
Now I can't keep you cuffed on a commercial flight, and I have to check my gun with my luggage, but you f*** with me once and I'm gonna break your neck

Jonathan Mardukas:
I can't fly.

Jack Walsh:
What?

Jonathan Mardukas:
You heard me, I can't fly.

Jack Walsh:
No, no, no. You're going to have to do better than that.

Jonathan Mardukas:
No I don't have to do better than that, because it's the truth. I can't fly. I suffer from aviaphobia.

Jack Walsh:
What does that mean?

Jonathan Mardukas:
It means I can't fly. I also suffer from claustrophobia and agoraphobia.

Jack Walsh:
Well if you don't shut up, pretty soon you're gonna suffer from fistaphobia.

Jack Walsh:
Where am I? I am in Boise, Idaho. No, no, no, I am in Anchorage, Alaska. No, I am in Casper, Wyoming, I am in the lobby of a Howard Johnson's and I am wearing a pink carnation.

Eddie Moscone:
What the f*** are you talking about?

Jack Walsh:
I am not talking to you, I am talking to the other guys.

Eddie Moscone:
What other guys?

Jack Walsh:
Well, let me describe the scene to you. There are these guys, see? They have probably been up for like two days. They stink of B.O. They have coffee breath. They're constipated from sittin' on their asses for so long. They are sitting in a van, and it's probably parked right up the street from your office. Eddie, YOUR PHONE IS TAPPED!

Jack Walsh:
How much is here?

Jonathan Mardukas:
Neighborhood of three hundred thousand dollars.

Jack Walsh:
That's a, that's a very respectable neighborhood.

Jack Walsh:
I never took a payoff in my life and I'm not gonna start with someone like you.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Why not?

Jack Walsh:
Because you're a f***ing criminal and you deserve to go where you're going and I'm gonna take you there and if hear any more sh*t outta you: I'm gonna f***ing bust your head and I'll put you back in that f***ing hole and I'm gonna stick your head in the f***ing toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.

Marvin Dorfler:
F***ing A! I'm the best!

Jonathan Mardukas:
I got money, y'know.

Jack Walsh:
I'm sure you do.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I'll give you whatever you want.

Jack Walsh:
Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Gee, that's too bad. I really like you.

Jimmy Serrano:
Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone.

Jimmy Serrano:
You and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work, or I'm gonna stab you through the heart with a f***in' pencil. Do you understand me?

Tony Darvo:
You got it, Jimmy.

Joey:
Hey, Tony... he ain't mad at me, is he?

Jonathan Mardukas:
Did she hurt you, Jack?

Jack Walsh:
Yeah, she did.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I'm sorry.

Jack Walsh:
What're you sorry about?

Jonathan Mardukas:
I'm sorry you're hurt.

Jack Walsh:
I'm not hurt.

Jonathan Mardukas:
You just said you were hurt.

Jack Walsh:
I'm not hurt.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I just asked you if you were hurt and you said "Yeah, I'm hurt."

Jack Walsh:
That's because you made me say that.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.

Jack Walsh:
You're goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the f*** up.

Jimmy Serrano:
Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of milk... Do some f***in' thing.

Jack Walsh:
I knew you had money. I didn't know you HAD money.

Jonathan Mardukas:
You two are the dumbest bounty hunters I have ever seen! You couldn't even deliver a bottle of milk!

Jonathan Mardukas:
You lied to me first!

Jack Walsh:
What the - -YOU LIED TO ME FIRST!

Jonathan Mardukas:
Yes! Yes. But you didn't know I was lying to you when you lied to me down by the river. So as far as you knew, you lied to me first!

Jack Walsh:
How can I argue with this guy. I don't know what the f*** he's talking about.

Alonzo Mosely:
Is this gonna upset me?

FBI Agent Tuttle:
I think it's safe to say that.

Jack Walsh:
You wouldn't happen to have change of a thousand, would ya?

Jack Walsh:
Well, looks like I'm walkin'.

Jason:
You don't look like a criminal.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I'm a white-collar criminal.

Jonathan Mardukas:
What's the name of this establishment?

Red Wood:
Red's Corner Bar.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Are you Red?

Red Wood:
Yes.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Do you dye your hair?

Red Wood:
No.

Jonathan Mardukas:
Why do they call you Red?

Red Wood:
It's short for Redwood. My last name's Wood.

Jonathan Mardukas:
What's your first name?

Red Wood:
Bill.

Marvin Dorfler:
Jack, nothing personal, but f*** off.

Jimmy Serrano:
Don't say a word to me, Sidney, don't say a f***ing word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head.

Gail:
Jack you shouldn't be here. Ted will come arrest you and him.

Jack Walsh:
Arrest us?

Gail:
yeah.

Jack Walsh:
Then, we'll get into lots of troubles because I'm afraid I'm little short of bribe money.

Gail:
All right Jack, don't. Stop this.

Jack Walsh:
I don't know whatever his name is?

Gail:
Captain.

Jack Walsh:
Captain! Royalty!

Gail:
Jack,I don't want any trouble. Do you understand that? Please. It is not a good day for this. I mean it.

Jack Walsh:
I'm sorry my refuge timetable can't coincide your social calendar.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I don't think she is saying this.

Jack Walsh:
Stay out of this, John.

Gail:
All right, same old, Jack. You get your feeling hurt then you just walk around and hurt everybody else.

Jack Walsh:
You are listening I need lots of your lecture.

Gail:
I'm not lecturing you, stupid. I'm trying to protect you.

Jack Walsh:
Oh, come on.

Gail:
Ted will go home in any minute. We're all going out tonight. This is important night for us.

Jack Walsh:
Important night? What so important about tonight? Wait, let me guess. Pay-off night?

Gail:
All right, that's it. Get out.

Marvin Dorfler:
See you in L.A., Jack!

Jonathan Mardukas:
Why are you so unpopular with the Chicago police department?

Marvin Dorfler:
Are you stand up there with your thumb up your ass or you gonna get me the f*** outta here?

Jonathan Mardukas:
See you in the next life, Jack.

Jonathan Mardukas:
You get it started, and I'll run you over. That's the best plan I can think of.

Jonathan Mardukas:
I just wanna tell you that I have fear of flying.

Marvin Dorfler:
Well, why don't you just relax and sleep through it?

Eddie Moscone:
Let's go have some breakfast.

Jack Walsh:
I don't eat breakfast.

Eddie Moscone:
Well, have an early lunch!

Jonathan Mardukas:
All you're leaving is two dollars?

Jack Walsh:
That's fifteen percent.

Jonathan Mardukas:
No, that's thirteen percent!

Jonathan Mardukas:
Ever had sex with an animal, Jack?

Jack Walsh:
No, but I saw some tasty-looking chickens back at that barn over there.

Jack Walsh:
When have I ever, when have I ever let you down before you f***ing rat?

Joey (wearing cowboy hat):
Hey Tony, Hopalong quesadich.

Jack Walsh:
I know my rights. You owe me phone calls.

Alonzo Mosely:
What should be of paramount importance to you right now is not the phone calls. It's the fact that you're gonna spend ten years for impersonating a federal agent.

Jack Walsh:
Ten years for impersonating a fed, huh?

Alonzo Mosely:
Ten years.

Jack Walsh:
How comes no one's after you?

Jonathan Mardukas:
Come on, cigarettes are killers.

Jack Walsh:
So are women.

Jack Walsh:
[In a payphone talking to Eddie Moscone] We are driving now, and I only have enough cash to get to Amarillo. We had to scrap the bus.

Eddie Moscone:
F*** the bus! I wanna know what happened to the goddamn plane!

Jack Walsh:
He doesn't like to fly.

Eddie Moscone:
He doesn't like to fly?! What the f*** does that mean?! Listen to me, Jack! You gotta be back here in less than two and a half f***in' days! A half million dollars of my money, what the f*** is goin' on there?!!

Jack Walsh:
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, I swear to God, don't start with me now or I will shoot him and I will dump him in a f***in' swamp! [vigorously shakes his head at Mardukas]

The Duke:
How much are you getting for me?

Jack Walsh:
I don't think that's any of your concern, but I'll tell you, just... to tell you. $100,000.

The Duke:
$100,000? Does that mean you'll take $100,000 to let me go?

Jack Walsh:
Not by a long shot.

The Duke:
$200,000?

Jack Walsh:
I never took a payoff in my life, and I'm not gonna start with someone like you.

The Duke:
Why not?

Jack Walsh:
Because you're a f***ing criminal, and you deserve to go where you're going. I'm gonna take you there. And if I hear any more sh*t outta you, I'm gonna f***ing bust your head, and I'm gonna put you back in that f***ing hole, and I'm gonna stick your head in that f***ing toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.

Jack Walsh:
Jimmy. There's something I've been wanting to say to you for ten years.

Jimmy Serrano:
Yeah, and what's that!?

Jack Walsh:
[smiling] You're under arrest!

Jimmy Serrano:
I thought you said this guy was gonna be on the plane.

Tony Darvo:
That's the information we got.

Jimmy Serrano:
"That's the information we got." I'm gonna tell you something. I want this guy taken out, and I want him taken out fast. You and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work, or I'm gonna stab you through the heart with a f***ing pencil. You get the message?

[Jack arrives at Los Angeles before the deadline with Mardukas in custody, and calls Eddie on a pay phone]

Jack Walsh:
Guess who I'm with? I'm with the Duke.

Eddie Moscone:
Where the hell are you?

Jack Walsh:
Where am I? I'm at the airport. And guess who I'm with? I'm with the Duke!

Eddie Moscone:
You got him! [thumps the desk with a fist] You got him, Jack! I love you!

Jack Walsh:
Yeah. You wanna say hello?

Eddie Moscone:
Yeah, put him on!

Jack Walsh:
Say hello.

The Duke:
[distraught] Hello.

Eddie Moscone:
Hello, you son of a b*tch! We got you, you son of a b*tch!

Jack Walsh:
Now say good-bye, ya lying little piece of sh*t, because I'm lettin' him go! [hangs up]

Jack Walsh:
Fear of flying, you son of a b*tch?! Get back here, you son of a b*tch! Get over here. Stop! Fear of flying, my ass! You son of a b*tch, get out! You're a goddamn pilot, you son of a b*tch?!!

Jonathan Mardukas:
I didn't feel it was appropriate to share that with you.

Jack Walsh:
[to a cab driver] You wouldn't have change for a thousand, would ya?

Cab Driver:
Whatta ya, a comedian? Get outta here, you bum!

[Cab driver drives away]

Jack Walsh:
[Zips up coat and turns up collar] Looks like I'm walkin'.

Jonathan Mardukas:
You have two emotions, silence and rage.

Marvin Dorfler:
[after Mosely takes his cigarettes for the second time] Why don't you quit? It'd be cheaper for both of us.

Jimmy Serrano:
So I'm finally in the presence of greatness, huh? The Duke. The guy that steals money from the scum of the earth and gives it to the unfortunates of the world. I wanted to meet you face-to-face. Did you actually think you were gonna steal my money and get away with it? I stopped by here to tell you two things. Number one is that you're gonna die tonight. Number two, I'm gonna go home, have a nice hot meal, I'm gonna find your wife, and I'm gonna kill her too.

Jimmy Serrano:
Let me tell you two stupid motherfuckers something. I don't want to get another phone call like this because if I do I'm gonna get on a f***ing plane and I'm going to blowtorch the both of you. You understand?

"Sidney, relax...Have a cream soda. Do some f***ing thing!" Jimmy Serrano