New Low

Wendell:
I just wish I was attractive enough to be in a relationship based entirely on looks.

Vicky:
I wish life was like a movie.

Wendell:
Yeah. Then it'd be over in two hours.

Vicky:
Listen to you. You're a child!

Wendell:
Hey, I'm an adult. I might be terrible at it, but the law's the law.

Dave:
See? That's the problem with loving a person. It keeps you from seeing how unlovable they are.

Wendell:
We got in this huge fight and... it's over.

Dave:
That sucks.

Wendell:
Yeah, she really let me have it, too.

Dave:
If it's any consolation, she was a giant a**hole.

Wendell:
Yeah, I guess.

Dave:
What do you mean "Yeah, I guess"? You were dating Hitler, a Jewish Hitler, never thought I'd see that.