North by Northwest

Eve Kendall:
What happened with your first two marriages?

Roger Thornhill:
My wives divorced me.

Eve Kendall:
Why?

Roger Thornhill:
They said I led a dull life.

Eve Kendall:
I tipped the steward five dollars to seat you here if you should come in.

Roger Thornhill:
Is that a proposition?

Eve Kendall:
I never discuss love on an empty stomach.

Roger Thornhill:
You've already eaten!

Eve Kendall:
But you haven't.

Roger Thornhill:
Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed.

Roger Thornhill:
And what the devil is all this about? Why was I brought here?

Phillip Vandamm:
Games, must we?

Roger Thornhill:
Not that I mind a slight case of abduction now and then, but I have tickets for the theater this evening, to a show I was looking forward to and I get, well, kind of *unreasonable* about things like that.

Phillip Vandamm:
With such expert playacting, you make this very room a theater.

Roger Thornhill:
No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser.

Phillip Vandamm:
Has anyone ever told you that you overplay your various roles rather severely, Mr. Kaplan?

Roger Thornhill:
When I was a little boy, I wouldn't even let my mother undress me.

Eve Kendall:
Well, you're a big boy now.

Man at Prairie Crossing:
That's funny, that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.

Roger Thornhill:
In the world of advertising, there's no such thing as a lie. There's only expedient exaggeration.

Clara Thornhill:
You gentlemen aren't REALLY trying to kill my son, are you?

Ticket Seller:
Something wrong with your eyes?

Roger Thornhill:
Yes, they're sensitive to questions.

Roger Thornhill:
The moment I meet an attractive woman, I have to start pretending I have no desire to make love to her.

Eve Kendall:
What makes you think you have to conceal it?

Roger Thornhill:
She might find the idea objectionable.

Eve Kendall:
Then again, she might not.

Eve Kendall:
It's going to be a long night.

Roger Thornhill:
True.

Eve Kendall:
And I don't particularly like the book I've started.

Roger Thornhill:
Ah.

Eve Kendall:
You know what I mean?

Roger Thornhill:
Ah, let me think. Yes, I know exactly what you mean.

Eve Kendall:
Roger O. Thornhill. What does the O stand for?

Roger Thornhill:
Nothing.

Eve Kendall:
I'm a big girl.

Roger Thornhill:
Yeah, and in all the right places, too.

Eve Kendall:
How do I know you aren't a murderer?

Roger Thornhill:
You don't.

Eve Kendall:
Maybe you're planning to murder me right here, tonight.

Roger Thornhill:
Shall I?

Eve Kendall:
Please do.

Eve Kendall:
I want you to do a favor for me. A big, big favor.

Roger Thornhill:
Name it.

Eve Kendall:
I want you to leave right now, stay far away from me, and don't come near me again. We're not going to get involved. Last night was last night, and it's all there was, and it's all there is. There isn't going to be anything more between us. So please. Goodbye, good luck, no conversation, just leave.

Phillip Vandamm:
What possessed you to come blundering in here like this? Could it be an overpowering interest in art?

Roger Thornhill:
Yes, the art of survival.

Eve Kendall:
He followed me here from the hotel.

Leonard:
He was in your room?

Roger Thornhill:
Sure. Isn't everybody?

Roger Thornhill:
What's wrong with men like me?

Eve Kendall:
They don't believe in marriage.

Roger Thornhill:
I've been married twice.

Eve Kendall:
See what I mean?

Roger Thornhill:
I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.

Roger Thornhill:
I don't like the games you play, professor.

The Professor:
War is hell, Mr. Thornhill, even when it's a cold one.

Leonard:
You surely would have suspected. Why else would you have decided not to tell Miss Kendall why our little treasure here has a belly full of microfilm?

Phillip Vandamm:
You seem to be trying to fill mine with rotten apples.

Leonard:
Sometimes the truth does taste like a mouthful of worms.

Phillip Vandamm:
Truth? I've heard nothing but innuendos.

Leonard:
Call it my women's intuition, if you will. But I've never trusted neatness. Neatness has always been the form of very deliberate planning.

Leonard:
Your not taking her on the plane with you?

Phillip Vandamm:
Of course I am. Like our friends I too believe in neatness Leonard. This matter is best disposed of from a great height, over water.

Roger Thornhill:
How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?

Eve Kendall:
Lucky, I guess.

Roger Thornhill:
I didn't realize you were an art collector. I thought you just collected corpses.

Roger Thornhill:
Apparently the only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.

Phillip Vandamm:
Your very next role, and you'll be quite convincing, I assure you.

Roger Thornhill:
Now, what can a man do with his clothes off for twenty minutes? Couldn't he have taken an hour?

Eve Kendall:
You could always take a cold shower.

Phillip Vandamm:
That wasn't very sporting, using real bullets.

The Professor:
If I thought there was any chance of changing your mind, I'd talk about Miss Kendall, of whom you so obviously disapprove.

Roger Thornhill:
Yes, for using sex like some people use a flyswatter.

Roger Thornhill:
You're police, aren't you? Or is it FBI?

The Professor:
FBI, CIA, ONI... we're all in the same alphabet soup.

Roger Thornhill:
When we get out of this, you can ride the train with me again.

Eve Kendall:
Is that a proposition?

Roger Thornhill:
It's a proposal, sweetie!

Phillip Vandamm:
Seems to me you fellows could stand a little less training from the F.B.I. and a little more from the Actor's Studio.

Roger Thornhill:
I don't like the way Teddy Roosevelt is looking at me.

Roger Thornhill:
Sorry love, I'm sentimental.

Roger:
And what the devil is all this about? Why was I brought here?

Vandamm:
Games, must we?

Roger:
Not that I mind a slight case of abduction now and then, but I have tickets for the theatre this evening, to a show I was looking forward to and I get, well, kind of unreasonable about things like that.

Vandamm:
With such expert play-acting, you make this very room a theatre. My secretary is a great admirer of your methods, Mr. Kaplan. Elusiveness, however misguided ...

Roger:
My name is Thornhill, Roger Thornhill! It's never been anything else ... So obviously, your friends picked up the wrong package when they bundled me out here in the car.

[Roger is wearing sunglasses to hide his identity]

Ticket Seller:
Something wrong with your eyes?

Roger:
Yes, they're sensitive to questions.

Roger:
Oh, you're that type.

Eve:
What type?

Roger:
Honest.

Eve:
Not really.

Roger:
Good, because honest women frighten me.

Eve:
Why?

Roger:
I don't know. Somehow they seem to put me at a disadvantage.

Eve:
Because you're not honest with them?

Roger:
Exactly.

...

Roger:
The moment I meet an attractive woman, I have to start pretending I have no desire to make love to her.

Eve:
What makes you think you have to conceal it?

Roger:
She might find the idea objectionable.

Eve:
Then again, she might not.

...

Eve:
I'm Eve Kendall. I'm twenty-six and unmarried. Now you know everything.

Roger:
Tell me. What do you do besides lure men to their doom on the Twentieth Century Limited?

Eve:
I'm an industrial designer.

Roger:
Jack Phillips. Western sales manager for Kingby Electronics.

Eve:
No, you're not. You're Roger Thornhill of Madison Avenue, and you're wanted for murder on every front page in America, and don't be so modest.

Roger:
Whoops!

Eve:
Oh, don't worry, I won't say a word.

Roger:
How come?

Eve:
I told you. It's a nice face.

Roger:
Is that the only reason?

Eve:
It's going to be a long night.

Roger:
True.

Eve:
And I don't particularly like the book I've started.

Roger:
Ahhh.

Eve:
You know what I mean?

Roger:
Uh, let me think. [Pause] Yes, I know exactly what you mean...

Eve:
I'm a big girl.

Roger:
Yeah, and in all the right places too. [They share a lingering kiss.]

Eve:
You know, this is ridiculous, you know that don't you?

Roger:
Yesss.

Eve:
I mean, we've hardly met.

Roger:
That's right.

Eve:
How do I know you aren't a murderer?

Roger:
You don't.

Eve:
Maybe you're planning to murder me right here tonight?

Roger:
Shall I?

Eve:
Please do. [Another long kiss.]

Roger:
Beats flying, doesn't it?

Eve:
We should stop.

Roger:
Immediately.

Eve:
I want to know more about you.

Roger:
What more could you know?

Eve:
You're an advertising man, that's all I know.

Roger:
That's right. [They shift positions] The train's a little unsteady.

Eve:
Who isn't?

Roger:
What else do you know?

Eve:
You've got taste in clothes, taste in food...

Roger:
...and taste in women. I like your flavor.

Eve:
You're very clever with words. You can probably make them do anything for you. Sell people things they don't need. Make women who don't know you fall in love with you.

Roger:
I'm beginning to think I'm underpaid.

Roger:
Now where were we?

Eve:
Here. [They kiss again passionately.]

Roger:
Yes. Nice of you to have opened the bed.

Eve:
Yes.

Roger:
Only one bed.

Eve:
Yes.

Roger:
That's a good omen, don't you think?

Eve:
Wonderful.

Roger:
You know what that means?

Eve:
Hmmm.

Roger:
What? Tell me.

Eve:
It means you're going to sleep on the floor.

Roger:
To a long and lasting friendship, meaning from now on, I'm not going to let you out of my sight, sweetheart.

Eve:
I'm afraid you'll have to.

Roger:
Oh no.

Eve:
I do have plans of my own, you know, and you do have problems.

Roger:
Well, wouldn't it be nice if my problems and your plans were somehow connected? Then we could always stay close to each other and not have to go off in separate directions. Togetherness, you know what I mean?

Roger:
Now, what can a man do with his clothes off for twenty minutes? Couldn't he have taken an hour?

Eve:
You could always take a cold shower. [she takes off his jacket]

Roger:
That's right. When I was a little boy, I wouldn't even let my mother undress me.

Eve:
You're a big boy now.

Roger:
Yes, tell me. How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?

Eve:
Lucky, I guess.

Roger:
No, not lucky. Naughty, wicked, up to no good. Ever kill anyone? Because I bet you could tease a man to death without half trying. So stop trying, huh?

Vandamm:
What possessed you to come blundering in here like this? Could it be an overpowering interest in art?

Roger:
Yes, the art of survival.

Eve:
He followed me here from the hotel.

Leonard:
He was in your room?

Roger:
Sure. Isn't everybody?

...

Roger:
I didn't realize you were an art collector. I thought you just collected corpses...I'll bet you paid plenty for this little piece of sculpture...She's worth every dollar of it, take it from me. She puts her heart into her work. In fact, her whole body.

Vandamm:
Has anyone ever told you that you overplay your various roles rather severely, Mr. Kaplan? First, you're the outraged Madison Avenue man who claims he's been mistaken for someone else. Then you play the fugitive from justice, supposedly trying to clear his name of a crime he knows he didn't commit. And now, you play the peevish lover, stung by jealousy and betrayal. It seems to me you fellows could stand a little less training from the FBI and a little more from the Actors Studio.

Roger:
Apparently, the only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.

Vandamm:
Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you.

Roger:
I wonder what subtle form of manslaughter is next on the program. Am I to be dropped into a vat of molten steel and become part of a new skyscraper, or are you going to ask this female to kiss me again and poison me to death?

[Eve tries to slap him]

Roger:
Who are you kidding? You have no feelings to hurt.

Roger:
Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed.

The Professor:
If I thought there was any chance of changing your mind, I'd talk about Miss Kendall, of whom you so obviously disapprove.

Roger:
Yes, for using sex like some people use a fly swatter.

Eve:
I guess I had nothing to do that weekend, so I decided to fall in love.

Roger:
That's nice.

Eve:
Eventually, the Professor and his Washington colleagues approached me with a few sordid details about Philip. They told me that my relationship with him made me uniquely valuable to them.

Roger:
Mm-mmm. So you became a Girl Scout, huh?

Eve:
Maybe it was the first time anyone ever asked me to do anything worthwhile.

Roger:
Has life been like that?

Eve:
Mm-mmm.

Roger:
How come?

Eve:
Men like you!

Roger:
What's wrong with men like me?

Eve:
They don't believe in marriage.

Roger:
I've been married twice.

Eve:
See what I mean?

Roger:
Now I may go back to hating you: it was more fun. [They kiss passionately]

Roger:
If we ever get out of this alive, let's go back to New York on the train together, all right?

Eve:
Is that a proposition?

Roger:
It's a proposal, sweetie.

Eve:
What happened to the first two marriages?

Roger:
My wives divorced me.

Eve:
Why?

Roger:
Well, I think they said I led too dull a life.

The Professor:
We do nothing...That's right, nothing. Oh, we could congratulate ourselves on a marvelous stroke of good fortune. Our non-existent decoy George Kaplan created to divert suspicion from our actual agent has fortuitously become a live decoy... What can we do to save him, without endangering our own agent?...We didn't invent our non-existent man and give him the name of George Kaplan, establish elaborate behavior patterns for him, move his prop belongings in and out of hotel rooms for our own private amusement. We created George Kaplan and labored successfully to convince Vandamm that this was our own agent hot on his trail for a desperately important reason...If we make the slightest move to suggest that there is no such agent as George Kaplan, give any hint to Vandamm that he's pursuing a decoy instead of our own agent, then our agent working right under Vandamm's very nose will immediately face suspicion, exposure and assassination, like the two others who went before.