Ordinary People

Karen:
Conrad. Let's have a great Christmas. Let's have... a great year. Let's have the best year of our whole lives. We can, you know... this could be the best one ever.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Anyway.

Jeannine:
Hm, what?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Oh just anyway. It's a conversation starter.

Jeannine:
Hm, catchy.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
I knew you'd like it, I've been working on it all day.

Calvin "Cal" Jarrett:
He just wants to know that you don't hate him.

Beth Jarrett:
Hate him! How could I hate him? Mothers don't hate their sons! Is that what he told you? You see how you believe everything he tells you? And you can't do the same for me, you can't! GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYONE WANTS FROM ME ANYMORE!

Ward:
Beth, we don't want anything from you; Audrey, Cal, Connie and Me, we just want you to be happy.

Beth Jarrett:
Happy! Ward, you tell me the meaning of happy. But first you better make sure your kids are good and safe, that they haven't fallen of a horse, been hit by a car, or drown in that swimming pool you're so proud of!

Audrey:
Oh Beth!

Beth Jarrett:
Then, you come and tell me how to be happy!

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
When I let myself feel, all I feel is lousy.

Dr. Berger:
Oh well excuse me, I never promised you a rose garden.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Oh f*** you Berger.

Dr. Berger:
What?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
F*** YOU!

Dr. Berger:
Hey, that's it!

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Geez! You're really weird huh, what do you feel huh? Do you jerk off, or jack off, or whatever you call it?

Dr. Berger:
What do you think?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
What do I think? I think you're married to a fat lady and you go home and you f*** the living daylights out of her!

Dr. Berger:
Sounds good to me.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
I made a 74 on a trig quiz.

Beth Jarrett:
Oh really? Gosh I was awful at trig.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Oh. Really? You took trig?

Beth Jarrett:
No... wait a minute... ha, did I take trig? Huh... anyway, I bought you two shirts they're on your bed.

Dr. Berger:
A little advice about feelings kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle.

Jeannine:
Conrad, I'm not a very good bowler, what I mean is, I'm a funny bowler.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Oh, well we don't have to go bowling if you'd rather not. How funny are ya?

Jeannine:
On a scale of one to ten... about a ten.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
Oh... yeah, that's pretty funny.

Dr. Berger:
So what are you thinking now?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
That I jack off a lot.

Dr. Berger:
So what else is new? Does it help?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
For a minute.

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
It's impossible after all the sh*t I've pulled.

Dr. Berger:
What sh*t have you pulled?

Dr. Berger:
Hey, remember, I'm talking proportion here, now what sh*t?

Dr. Berger:
C'mon, you must be able to come up with at least one example.

Dr. Berger:
And don't give me, "I tried to kill myself." That's old turkey.

Calvin "Cal" Jarrett:
Don't admire people too much, they might disappoint you.

Jeannine:
Can you ever break the ball?

Conrad "Con" Jarrett:
You can't break the ball. Can't break the floor. Can't break anything in a bowling alley. And that's what I like about bowling alleys. Can't even break the record.