Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz:
I don't want to be a good man... I want to be a great one.

Oz:
I don't want to die! I haven't accomplished anything yet! Please!

Oz:
Oz? That's my name. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. But everyone calls me Oz.

Oz:
Did those crows just say we're gonna die?

Oz:
How hard can it be to kill a Wicked Witch?

Oz:
I have everything I ever wanted.

Theodora/The Wicked Witch of the West:
Aren't you the Great Man we've been waiting for?

Theodora/The Wicked Witch of the West:
I am on no one's side, You know that I simply want peace that's all I ever wanted and the wizard can do that. He's a good man.

Glinda:
You're capable of more than you know...

Glinda:
The shield allows a good-hearted person to pass.

Glinda:
You can't give me that. You took what mattered most to me: My father.

Glinda:
I don't need them. Bubbles are just for show.

Oz:
Where...Where am I exactly?

Theodora:
Where do you think you are?

Oz:
I have no idea. It's...It's like no place I've ever seen.

Theodora:
You're in Oz.

Oz:
[to Theodora] Where's your broom?

Theodora:
You don't know much about witches, do you?

Theodora:
Isn't he wonderful? Didn't I say he would come?

Evanora:
[angrily] You dare escort that... oaf in here and and allow him to climb on the hallow throne?

Theodora:
And why not? He is the wizard.

Evanora:
The wizard, or so he says. Did it not ever occur to you that he might be an impostor in league with the Wicked Witch and sent here to kill us?

Theodora:
Wicked Witch? Don't be ridiculous.

Evanora:
Oh, I am not the one who is underestimating her cleverness. [pauses] Or maybe it is you that I am underestimating. [Theodora looks at her in surprise] Have you finally joined her side, sister?

Theodora:
I am on no one's side. You know that. I simply want peace, that's all I ever wanted and the wizard can do that. He's a good man.

Evanora:
What do you know about goodness? Deep down you are wicked.

Theodora:
[furiously] I'M NOT WICKED!

[In her rage, she conjures up a fireball and it hits a vase. Theodora recoils at what she's done.]

Evanora:
Your temper really is wasted on you.

China Girl:
But... I wanna go with you.

Oz:
What? On a witch hunt? Nah, you're just a little girl.

China Girl:
I'm not as delicate as I look! [kicks Oz in the leg]

Oz:
[smirks] That didn't hurt.

China Girl:
[stubbornly] I'm coming with you!

Oz:
Listen, we have one rule in show business: Never work with kids or animals. [points at Finley] And I'm already working with this thing. [Finley growls at him angrily] Relax. [back to China Girl] The answer is no. [China Girl starts crying, hoping to get sympathy] No, no. Don't-don't do that. You'll be fine.

Oz:
[traveling by bubble to Glinda's kingdom] These things go kind of fast, huh? [notices the bubble around the castle] Hey, is-is that a wall?

Glinda:
Of sorts. It repels our enemies; it protects us from harm.

Oz:
But we're headed straight for it.

Glinda:
[cheerfully] Yes, we are.

Oz:
[nervously] And going very fast. How do you, uh... Does this thing have any brakes? [panicking] I'm going too fast! I'm gonna die!

Glinda:
[calmly] You needn't worry, Wizard. It's a magic wall, and all good-hearted souls get [realization dawns on her] to pass through.

Oz:
...I'M GONNA DIE!!!

Oz:
[whispering to Glinda, as her city celebrates his arrival] You know, I should tell you. I might not actually be a wizard...

Glinda:
Yes, I know.

Oz:
Oh?

Glinda:
Well, at least not any kind of wizard we were expecting.

Oz:
Uh, you could tell?

Glinda:
Yes. I can also tell you're weak, selfish, slightly egotistical, and a fibber.

Oz:
I see. Anything you don't know about me?

Glinda:
Whether or not you'll save my people.

Oz:
Ah, no, I just told you I'm not the wizard.

Glinda:
But they don't know that. If you can make them believe, then you're wizard enough. (sadly) These are desperate times, after all. Can you make them believe?

Oz:
[nervously] Um... Will I... still get that gold?

Glinda:
[surprised] Ah. [nods her head yes]

Oz:
[to the crowd] Good people of Oz. Your wizard is here!

Theodora:
[After arriving in Munchkinland in her new form] There's so much good here... It sickens me. [She jumps in front of the Tinkers. They recoil in fright] Still think your wizard can save you? FROM THE LIKES OF ME?! (floats over to some Quadlings) SPEAK UP... or I'll tear out your tongue!

Oz:
[to Glinda] Now who's that?

Theodora:
[faces Oz and Glinda] Don't you recognize me, Wizard? Have I changed so much?

Oz:
[shocked] Theodora?

Theodora:
May I have this dance? [moves her fingers around to levitate Oz up in the air and make him dance like a puppet]

Oz:
Hey! Hey! Whoa! I get it! You're a little upset!

[Theodora continues to make Oz dance]

Glinda:
Theodora, stop. You'll hurt him.

[Theodora uses her powers to throw Oz into a wall. She walks up to him as he is recovering.]

Oz:
Theodora, what happened to you?

Theodora:
You happened to me!

[She conjures up a fireball and is about to throw it at Oz, but Glinda uses her wand to extinguish it.]

Glinda:
This isn't you. It's your sister. She's worked her magic on you. I'd hope you be able to see through her.

Theodora:
Oh, Glinda, so naïve. Just like your father. That's why it was so easy for my sister to kill him.

Glinda:
She only killed a man, not what he believed in.

Female Quadling:
Begone witch, before the wizard makes mush of you.

[The citizens yell at Theodora to leave.]

Theodora:
Oh, how sweet. You all believe in him! Well, so did I once. [to Glinda] And as for you, my pretty one. When I return with my sister and her army, the yellow brick road will be red with the blood of every tinker, farmer, and munchkin in your kingdom.

Glinda:
You underestimate us, Theodora. We are a strong and united people, and now the Wizard is here to lead us.

Theodora:
And as for your Wizard. He will be the first to die, and you will all see that he is nothing but a deceitful, selfish, and extremely mortal man! Give me that! [forces away the female Quadling's broom, turning it black.] It was a broom that you wanted, wasn't it, Wizard? [flies away on the broom cackling]

Oz:
Glinda, I've got it!

Glinda:
What have you got?

Oz:
I've got a way out of this mess. [Puts a book down on her desk]

Glinda:
What is this?

Oz:
A battle plan.

[Glinda picks up and starts flipping through the book:
Mastering Magic]

Oz:
It's all in there. Illusion, misdirects, slight of hand. Look, I know I'm not the wizard you were expecting, but I might just be the wizard you need.

Glinda:
You said you were just a conman.

Oz:
Precisely.

Glinda:
Nothing but a trickster?

Oz:
Yes.

Glinda:
A terrible cheat?

Oz:
The best there is.

Glinda:
Carnival magician's going to put on a show.

Oz:
I'll put on the show of a lifetime, the likes of which the land of Oz has never seen! Magic. Mystery. PRESTIDIGITATION! It'll be my greatest trick yet.

Oz:
This is all very impressive, but you still haven't told me how you plan to get this thing into the Emerald City.

Glinda:
Relax. I know someone.

Oz:
What do you mean you know someone?

[Glinda winks at the munchkin standing behind Oz.]

Knuck:
Hello Wizard.

Oz:
Well, well, well. If it isn't old Sourpuss.

Knuck:
My name is Knuck!

Glinda:
Now you two be nice to each other.

Knuck:
Let's move it, Wizard!

Oz:
Can you give me a break?

Knuck:
I'll break yo' nose!

Oz:
[as Theodora is fleeing Emerald City] Theodora! [Theodora stops] I know your wickedness is not your doing! And should you ever find the goodness within you, you are welcome to return.

Theodora:
[pauses, as if considering the offer] NEVER! [flies away cackling]

Glinda:
Well done, Tinker, your machine works beautifully!

Master Tinker:
That's just workmanship. What you displayed was true courage.

Oz:
May I have this dance, milady? [Theodora looks startled] Now you're gonna tell me no one's ever asked you to dance before.

Theodora:
[sadly] No one ever has.

Oz:
[smiles] Then it's high time you learned.

Theodora:
[tricked by Evanora into thinking Oz has "betrayed" her for Glinda] He said we would rule Oz, together... He said I would be his Queen.

Evanora:
Did he? [takes Theodora's hand, meets her eyes] Are you... quite sure it wasn't you who said that to him?

[Theodora watches Oz and Glinda greeting the people in Evanora's crystal ball]

Evanora:
What's the matter, sister?

Theodora:
[jealously] Look at how happy they all are. Do you think she'll be his Queen?

Evanora:
Well, of course she'll be his Queen. You can't compete with Glinda's charms - no one can.

[Theodora cries, her tears leaving burn scars on her face]

Theodora:
Sister, it hurts!

Evanora:
Such is a broken heart- your precious wizard did that to you.

Theodora:
[turns to her] Make it stop.

Evanora:
Would you like me to? [Theodora pauses; cut to Evanora offering her an enchanted green apple] One bite is all it takes. One bite, and your world will change forever. One bite, and your heart will become impenetrable. One bite, and you and I will finally share the throne. [seeing Theodora's hesitation] Unless you'd rather see Oz and Glinda there? [Theodora grabs the apple and takes a bite. Immediately, the candles go out and a cold wind blows through the room]

Theodora:
[stares up at her sister in realisation] ...You're the wicked one - not Glinda! [Evanora smirks, victorious] Sister, you lied to me!

Evanora:
It's nice, isn't it? How clear everything becomes.

Theodora:
[suddenly begins convulsing with pain and gasping for breath; tearing off her cloak and necklace, she staggers across the room] What is happening to me?!

Evanora:
[chuckling] Oh. It's just your heart withering away. Fear not, Theodora, for soon you will feel nothing at all, except beautiful... Wickedness. [Theodora stumbles across the room, hallucinating about Oz laughing, and collapses behind a table; the fire blazes high. Evanora steps cautiously towards her] Sister...? [she shrieks and recoils as Theodora's hand, now clawed and green-skinned, shoots up and grabs the table, her nails gouging the stone surface. Evanora appears startled as Theodora -still unseen- stands up, casting a menacing silhouette on the wall] Oh, sister... You're hideous. [smiles weakly] I can cast a simple enchantment, and have you looking just the way you were before-

Theodora:
NO! This is who I am now! [flips her wide-brimmed red hat inside out, revealing a black witch's hat] I want him to see me like this! I want him to know that he was the one who made me this way! [cackles madly]

Evanora:
[to herself] Oh, dear...

Theodora:
[Laughing] OUT OF MY WAY! [flies into the city centre on her broom, causing the citizens to jump aside in fright; she lands in front of Glinda, stares at her for a moment, then kneels so that they are eye-to-eye] Give up, Glinda. Why do you continue to resist?

Glinda:
Because I believe in the Wizard.

Theodora:
[her face darkens with hatred and rage] So did I, once. Behold. [she stands up, pointing to Oz's balloon full of stolen gold, rising over the city] LOOK! Your Wizard! [Glinda stares at the balloon in disbelief]

Citizen #1:
Where is he going?

Citizen #2:
[sadly] He's abandoning us!

Citizen #3:
[sadly] How could he?

[Knuck, the Master Tinker and Finley all watch in disappointment. Suddenly, an enraged Theodora conjures a red fireball and hurls it at the balloon]

Glinda:
No!

[The balloon is hit by the fireball and explodes in a burst of flame, raining gold coins over the center of the square. The crowd reacts with horror as the burning balloon crashes down on the heap of gold]

China Girl:
No! [starts to cry]

Evanora:
[mockingly] Ohh... Not so Great and Powerful, after all.

[Theodora stares impassively at the bonfire as Glinda and the citizens cry quietly. As the Winkees begin to move the crowds back, Finley flies over to the wreckage and retrieves Oz's smoking top hat; he clutches it and begins to cry. A Winkee guard walks over to him]

Winkee:
Hey- [Finley looks up, and the Winkee pulls back the brim of his helmet to reveal Oz, grinning] Hello, Monkey.

Finley:
Oz! [beams, hugs him] I thought you were dead-

Oz:
Shhh... You were crying pretty hard- was that for me?

Finley:
Oh... no, some of the smoke got in my eyes!

Oz:
[laughs, unconvinced] Oh, right.

Finley:
Wow, you fooled everybody - That was your greatest trick yet!

Oz:
[grins] That was just the opening act!

Evanora:
[to the Citizens] Let this be the final word! [Oz and Finley glance nervously in her direction as she and Theodora step forward on either side of Glinda] Your prophecy is dead. Like the king who spoke it, and the wizard who tried to fulfill it! All dead!

Oz:
[to Finley] It's showtime. [leads him towards the projection-booth carriage, where the Master Tinker and Knuck are gesturing for them]

Theodora:
[to the Citizens] And they will be joined in death, by Glinda the Good! [The citizens watch sadly as Theodora and Evanora close on Glinda] Farewell.

Evanora:
Say hello to your daddy for me. [she and Theodora conjure green lightning and red flames, respectively, and begin charging up their magical energies for the killing blow]

Glinda:
The dreams of the people live on.

[Just as Theodora and Evanora are about to strike, all the torches around the square are instantly extinguished]

Glinda:
Would you stop that? A con man couldn’t have done all this. You’re much more than that.

Oz:
Then I’ve got you fooled too.

Glinda:
The only person you’ve got fooled is yourself.

Glinda:
For the record, I knew you’d had it in you all along.

Oz:
Greatness?

Glinda:
Much better than that: Goodness.

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