P.S. I Love You

[from trailer]

Holly Kennedy:
What if this is it, Gerry? What if this is all there is to our life? You have to have a plan. Why do I have to be the responsible grown-up who worries? Why can't I be the cute, carefree Irish guy who sings all the time?

Gerry Kennedy:
Because you can't sing without making dogs bark?

[At the wake, Denise is cruising for men]

Denise Hennessey:
Hi. I'm Denise.

Gay Man #1:
Matt.

Denise Hennessey:
I love your tie.

Gay Man #1:
Oh, thanks.

Denise Hennessey:
Are you single, Matt?

Gay Man #1:
Yes.

Denise Hennessey:
Are you gay?

Gay Man #1:
Yes.

Denise Hennessey:
Okay. [With a smile, she walks away]

Denise Hennessey:
[a few frames later, she approaches another man] Hi.

George:
Hi.

Denise Hennessey:
I like your chain.

George:
Thanks!

Denise Hennessey:
Denise.

George:
George.

Denise Hennessey:
Are you single?

George:
[He smiles, knowing where this is going] Yes.

Denise Hennessey:
Are you gay?

George:
No.

Denise Hennessey:
Are you working?

George:
No. [He looks up from his plate of food, but she is already walking away]

[Daniel has agreed to leave Holly alone in the bar, but then he returns at once]

Daniel Connelly:
I don't meant to throw this at you from left field, but what do women want? I mean, I can't figure it out. They want us to ask; they, they don't want us to ask; they want us to make a move, not make a move. They want us to be on bottom; they want us to be on top. Use hair products, don't use hair products. What do you people want?

Holly Kennedy:
I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to say I told you.

Daniel Connelly:
I, I swear.

Holly Kennedy:
Because it's a sacred secret.

Daniel Connelly:
A sacred secret.

Holly Kennedy:
You ready?

Daniel Connelly:
Yeah.

Holly Kennedy:
You sure?

Daniel Connelly:
I think so.

Holly Kennedy:
[whispering] We have absolutely no idea what we want.

Daniel Connelly:
I knew it!

Gerry Kennedy:
[knowing that Holly is angry with him] Are you going to make me sleep in the tub again?

Holly Kennedy:
Do you think it'd be all right if I stop my life right here? Become good Miss Haversham of the Lower East Side? Never leave my apartment till I'm old. Sit in my wedding dress...

Sharon McCarthy:
Which you never had.

Holly Kennedy:
With an old piece of wedding cake?

Sharon McCarthy:
Which you never had. Gotta be rich to be insane, Hol. Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class.

Patricia:
I bet you've had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that. I know what it is, not to feel like you're in the room, until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his.

Patricia:
So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.

[Holly and Gerry are arguing and he storms away, muttering and using Irish slang]

Holly Kennedy:
Oh, stop being all *bilingual*!

Gerry Kennedy:
...kiss me arse!

Holly Kennedy:
Kiss *mine*! In English!

[repeated lines]

Holly Kennedy:
Nice jacket.

Gerry Kennedy:
I won it in a bet.

[after Holly finishs his letters]

Gerry Kennedy:
P.S. I love you.

[last lines]

Holly Kennedy:
Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life. And it's a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan... except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world. She has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started. Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S... Guess what?

Gerry Kennedy:
[holding Holly by the shoulders] What do you want? I know what I want, cause I'm holding it in my hands.

Patricia:
You know the worst thing for a parent... second after losing a child? Watching your child head for the same life you had. You can't stop it. It's a terrible, helpless feeling. Makes you angry all the time. And I've been angry. For a very long time. I'm exhausted.

Holly Kennedy:
Do you think we'll ever see dad again?

Patricia:
No sweetheart, never. So you have to stop waiting.

Leprechaun:
Are you Holly Kennedy?

Holly Kennedy:
If I am, will you sing at me?

Leprechaun:
Yes.

Holly Kennedy:
No, I'm not.

Leprechaun:
Please, don't make this an issue. I gotta sing and deliver a letter.

Holly Kennedy:
A letter? What's the song?

Leprechaun:
Ya, I'm 'gon be there.

Holly Kennedy:
Oh, please don't, just give me the letter.

Leprechaun:
I could get reported!

Holly Kennedy:
By who? The leprechaun union?

Leprechaun:
You know, I was in an off-Broadway play with Al god damn Pacino, I don't need this sh*t. Want the balloons?

Holly Kennedy:
No.

Leprechaun:
Fine!

Daniel Connelly:
Sorry about your loss.

Holly Kennedy:
Thanks.

Daniel Connelly:
How did he die?

Holly Kennedy:
A brain tumor.

Daniel Connelly:
Nice!

Denise Hennessey:
[Denise is admiring Ted as he walks by] Ooohhh, he's delicious, isn't he? I'd serve coffee on that ass.

John McCarthy:
Do you have to be so vulgar about men? Like they're pieces of meat?

Denise Hennessey:
Sorry, John. I forgot you're sensitive about your flat ass.

John McCarthy:
You know, Denise, that's why you're not married. Women act like men, then they complain men don't want them.

Denise Hennessey:
Oh, is that why? [fake smile] Oh. Okay. Because I thought it was something different. I thought that it was because I thought I deserved the best and he's out there. He's just with all the wrong women. And let me be clear. After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!

Sharon McCarthy:
Well said!

Denise Hennessey:
I thought so.

Gerry Kennedy:
Look, Holly, people have babies with no money all the time. And if you're so worried about it,

[picks up Holly's boot]

Gerry Kennedy:
why don't you stop buying designer clothes, huh?

Holly Kennedy:
I buy EVERYTHING on E-bay! It doesn't count when you're wearing

[grabs her boot out Gerry's hand]

Holly Kennedy:
Marc Jacobs from Minneapolis!

Gerry Kennedy:
I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.

Holly Kennedy:
[hugs Daniel] It's been a year. I don't feel him anymore. I feel he's gone. He's really gone!

Gerry Kennedy:
[calms Holly] Every morning I still wake up and the first thing I want to do is to see your face.

Gerry Kennedy:
I'm sorry I said the wrong thing to your mother. God, I still get nervous around her. I still think, after nine years, she doesn't like me. I know I'm being stupid.

Holly Kennedy:
No, you're not being stupid, baby. She doesn't like you.

Gerry Kennedy:
Really? I kinda thought, deep down, she really loved me.

Holly Kennedy:
No... she doesn't. I was nineteen when we got married. You corrupted me with sex and charm, and the longer it takes you to make your fortune, the less sexy and charming you are. [Gerry starts looking for something] What? What are you looking for?

Gerry Kennedy:
My balls. They were hanging there a minute ago.

Patricia:
[to guy working the bar] Take a break, will you?

Holly Kennedy:
Mom?

Patricia:
What's the matter?

Holly Kennedy:
[crying] When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... That's it, never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then he died! What was the point?

Patricia:
I know.

Holly Kennedy:
I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean, you're alone, no matter what.

Patricia:
That's right.

Holly Kennedy:
[still crying] God. I didn't come here for you to give me some bullshit honest answer. Why can't you lie to me just once?

Patricia:
I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Holly Kennedy:
[sobbing] I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Patricia:
C'mon, let's take a walk.

Holly Kennedy:
Will you listen to him?

Vicky:
What?

Holly Kennedy:
He's obviously worried about this. Look at him... he's pale.

Vicky:
Who are you to tell me how to talk to my husband?

Holly Kennedy:
I'm saying you shouldn't push this on him, if he doesn't want to do it.

Vicky:
I'll push whatever the hell I want on him. He's my husband. I want this apartment, we're doing this.

Holly Kennedy:
Say no, Ted!

Vicky:
It is amazing to me that you are still talking. Ted, don't listen to her.

Holly Kennedy:
Ted, she's being a tyrant. She's got your balls on one of those things that you know, uh, clink back and forth. You know what I mean?

Vicky:
You b*tch!

Holly Kennedy:
Brat!

Vicky:
Shut up!

Holly Kennedy:
You shut up!

Vicky:
No, you shut up!

Holly Kennedy:
All I know is, if you don't figure out this something, you'll just stay ordinary, and it doesn't matter if it's a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something... new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it... and you know a little more about... you. A little bit more than anyone else does... Does that make any sense at all?

Gerry Kennedy:
Yeah... you're saying you want to paint socks.

Holly Kennedy:
[ecstatic] Maybe!

Holly Kennedy:
That's a real honest to goodness couple right there. They've probably been together since the flood.

Daniel Connelly:
We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.

Holly Kennedy:
I don't want to make any mistakes.

Gerry Kennedy:
Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a dog.

Holly Kennedy:
[while Gerry is playing guitar and singing on the couch] Do all Irishmen sing?

Gerry Kennedy:
Aah. Only the really well-hung ones.

William:
You know, it got a lot darker while I was busy.

Holly Kennedy:
[after encouragement to say something from Sharon and Denise] [takes a sip] Mm. Yeah, it gets dark at night... here.

Denise Hennessey:
I hate cosmetics companies. They get you addicted to the perfect lipstick or nail polish and then, six months later, they discontinue it. You have to buy your favorite colors like you're storing up for the Apocalypse.

Holly Kennedy:
I left without saying anything. He must think I'm an idiot.

Denise Hennessey:
Well, you're an American. They expect us to be idiots.

Sharon McCarthy:
You've got a fish!

Denise Hennessey:
It's a fish!

Holly Kennedy:
Okay!

Sharon McCarthy:
Holly, grab the pole!

Holly Kennedy:
Okay, I'm grabbing it... I am, I am.

Sharon McCarthy:
Take it out of the thingy-majiggy. Hurry it up! You're not holding the ball. Turn the knobby thing.

Holly Kennedy:
Will you stop being so butch!

William:
There's no man, alive or dead, who's going to fault you for living.

William:
You're very sweet.

Holly Kennedy:
Oh God. The last time a guy said that, he followed it up with, "But I don't date 13-year-olds."

William:
Well, lucky for you, neither do I.

Holly Kennedy:
No, it's not gonna work. I feel like I'm trying on a new pair of shoes I really wanna buy, but they just don't fit. Sorry.

William:
Alright then, how about going barefoot for a while? [he kisses her]

Holly Kennedy:
Oh, never mind. I'm just screwed up. I'm trouble... yeah.

William:
I like trouble.

Holly Kennedy:
Oh no, I don't mean "cool Pulp Fiction" trouble. I mean "mental case wacko" trouble.

Denise Hennessey:
[finishes kissing Tom] What's my name?

Tom:
Tom

Denise Hennessey:
Where've you been?

Tom:
With all the wrong women. [he kisses her again]

Holly Kennedy:
What do you want?

Sharon McCarthy:
Oh good... a friendly voice.

Holly Kennedy:
What happened last night?

Sharon McCarthy:
Lemon drops and Tequila, my friend. The moment where a 30-year-old body does not recover quite as fast as a 29-year-old body.

Daniel Connelly:
Thanks for inviting me... you're a terrible singer.

Holly Kennedy:
Yes, I am.

Daniel Connelly:
I'd be really embarrassed if I were you.

Holly Kennedy:
Did you take your medication today?

Daniel Connelly:
No, I thought I'd come here instead.

Daniel Connelly:
Look, if you ever just wanna get out... just do anything, just... I'll wait for your call. And just so you know, I'm not looking for "a thing" right now. I'm just flirting in good faith.

Holly Kennedy:
I appreciate that.

Daniel Connelly:
I think you're a little bit perverted. I mean, you bring me to an Irish Famine Memorial... and we're eating corned beef sandwiches. That's pretty sick.

Holly Kennedy:
Gerry thought it was the best way to honor the dead... you know, show them how well we're doing.

Holly Kennedy:
Daniel?

Daniel Connelly:
Yeah.

Holly Kennedy:
Um, so, why do you think?

Daniel Connelly:
Your husband died? I dunno. Maybe you're being punished for something.

Daniel Connelly:
What?

Daniel Connelly:
Being too happy? Too beautiful? I dunno. God can be a pretty jealous guy.

Holly Kennedy:
I don't believe that. I've never been too happy, and I'm not too beautiful.

Daniel Connelly:
I think you're hot! [Holly draws back away from him] Sorry, I have a syndrome. I don't really have a filter. I don't pick up on social cues.

Holly Kennedy:
You mean: you're rude.

Daniel Connelly:
Yeah, but now it's a disease I can take medication for.

Holly Kennedy:
They have pills for rudeness?

Daniel Connelly:
I know. And they can't figure out the Middle East. Go figure.

Daniel Connelly:
I'd be happy to help you get rid of Gerry.

Holly Kennedy:
Do you have to say it like that?

Daniel Connelly:
What? I want to say... like what... I didn't say anything.

Holly Kennedy:
What is wrong with you?

Daniel Connelly:
Nothing.

Holly Kennedy:
Take a pill!

Patsy:
You've dropped your sweets, luv. You mustn't do that around these parts. Pretty woman like you, a fella could take it the wrong way.

Daniel Connelly:
Hey, you're Irish. Maybe it's an Irish curse or something.

Holly Kennedy:
Well, Gerry and I did love the Yankees, which was pretty much against our religion.

Daniel Connelly:
Well, there you go. That explains a lot, actually. I love the Yankees, too, and I lost my fianc?e last year.

Holly Kennedy:
Maybe we can defy God and go see a Yankees game.

Daniel Connelly:
Yeah, we'll be really weird friends joined by self-pity, bitterness and vomit.

Daniel Connelly:
You've been thinking about me?

Holly Kennedy:
Because you've been a real friend through all this.

Daniel Connelly:
Have you ever thought of me in the nude?

Holly Kennedy:
[laughing] No.

Daniel Connelly:
Not even with my shirt off?

Holly Kennedy:
[still laughing] Gerry, stop it.

Daniel Connelly:
Daniel, I'm Daniel, are you ever gonna feel the way you felt about Gerry with anyone else, or do you need one of your letters to figure that out?

[He leaves]

Holly Kennedy:
Where are you going?

Daniel Connelly:
[He comes back] I really like you, but I can't be the Invisible Man. I'm tired of being the shoulder, I want to be another body part. I want to use up a woman so she's ruined for all other men.

Holly Kennedy:
You don't want to do that.

Daniel Connelly:
No, I don't want to do that. I want to date a woman who actually likes men, I want to be somebody's Gerry.

[He gets up to leave]

Daniel Connelly:
Honestly, I don't blame you. It's not your fault, it's mine. I didn't plan on liking you, it just sort of happened that way, I'm sorry about that.

Daniel Connelly:
[reading Gerry's letter] Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

Gerry Kennedy:
[as Holly's reading a letter] My life had changed right there. I'm not worried about you remembering me, luv. You need to remember that girl on the road.

Gerry Kennedy:
[after their kiss in Ireland] Where are you going?

Holly Kennedy:
Stay.

Gerry Kennedy:
You have my jacket.

Holly Kennedy:
I'm keeping it unless we meet again, otherwise that will be the most perfect kiss ever shared by two strangers

Gerry Kennedy:
I bet we will meet again.

Holly Kennedy:
You better win that bet, because if we do, that'll be the end of it.

Gerry Kennedy:
The end of what?

Holly Kennedy:
Life as we know it.

Gerry Kennedy:
I'm singing at this...

Holly Kennedy:
Shh, if I happen to walk into the right one in the right town.

Gerry Kennedy:
What's your name?

Holly Kennedy:
No.

Sharon McCarthy:
[Convincing Holly to go talk to William] Plus, you're an American. You've got the foreign exotic stuff going for you.

Holly Kennedy:
Oh, there is nothing exotic about being an American.

Sharon McCarthy:
Well, he doesn't know that!

Gerry Kennedy:
Baby, we're already IN our life. It's already started. This is it. You have to stop waitin', baby.

[During her dream sequence/fantasy, Holly is hanging over Gerry's shoulders while he plays guitar]

Holly Kennedy:
I can't fall asleep alone.

Gerry Kennedy:
[still strumming] I'm right here, baby.

Holly Kennedy:
I had a terrible dream.

Gerry Kennedy:
Don't tell me. [He smiles]

Holly Kennedy:
Gerry, I don't want to go back to work. What should I do?

Gerry Kennedy:
Quit. Stay here with me.

[She rises and walks to the couch]

Holly Kennedy:
[despairing] I don't have a plan, Gerry.

Gerry Kennedy:
That's okay, luv. Your plans never work out, anyway.

Holly Kennedy:
[She lies on the couch to try to sleep, and smiles slightly] That's true.

[Holly's place is trashed after 3 weeks of neglect. Garbage everywhere. She doesn't notice, because she is singing along with movie musicals. She's wearing an old rolled-up shirt of Gerry's and his boxer pants]

Holly Kennedy:
[singing along with Judy Garland:] And never a new love will be the same / Good riddance, good-bye!

[She turns and finds her mother and friends have opened her front door with birthday party gifts. They stare at each other in shock. Holly clicks off the TV. Her mother, Patricia, is aghast; her sister, Ciara, is grinning hopefully; Denise and Sharon are mortified. Ciara and Denise rally enough to applaud Holly's singing performance. There are assorted cries of Happy Birthday and whistles]

Ciara:
You're thirty!

John McCarthy:
[John enters] Hey, Holly, these keep falling out of your mailbox. [He stops and frowns] What is that smell?

Holly Kennedy:
I wasn't expecting company. Mom! Don't clean.

Patricia:
I'm not. I'll just organize the garbage.

Denise Hennessey:
We did try to call, first.

Sharon McCarthy:
Are you drunk?

Holly Kennedy:
[defensively] No.

Ciara:
[cheerily] Do you wanna be?

Patricia:
Ciara. [to Holly, referring to a tiny bandage on her forehead] What happened to your head?

Holly Kennedy:
Pimple.

Patricia:
You're not showering?

Denise Hennessey:
[Helpfully] Well, you always squeeze it too hard.

John McCarthy:
What is that smell?

Holly Kennedy:
It's me! All right?

Sharon McCarthy:
Hey, hey. Don't be like that.

Holly Kennedy:
[Almost in tears] Like what?

Sharon McCarthy:
Like the only lonely widow in Gotham City.

Holly Kennedy:
I'm not, just... really exhausted!

Denise Hennessey:
Yeah, well [nodding at the TV] , what are you doing, two shows a night?