Parlamentet

[Mikael Tornving is imitating a German interrogation leader]

Henrik Schyffert:
What should we do to increase the interest for the Swedish language?

Mikael Tornving:
We shall punish all those who are talking... what are you saying?

Henrik Schyffert:
I was asking how we could increase the interest for the Swedish la...

Mikael Tornving:
You're talking about the interest for the Swedish language, are you not?

Henrik Schyffert:
Yes.

Mikael Tornving:
Sit straight when I'm talking to you, and look me in the eyes. You have a very suspicious mind, you know that?

Henrik Schyffert:
Sorry?

Mikael Tornving:
You should be clear of what you are saying, you are contradicting yourself!

Henrik Schyffert:
You are obviously talking English...

Mikael Tornving:
SILENCE!

Henrik Schyffert:
You are obviously talking English with a German touch...

Mikael Tornving:
YOU ARE A LICE!

Henrik Schyffert:
Why shouldn't you place bananas close to other fruit?

Mikael Tornving:
Well, they have nothing to talk about. It's the shallowest damn fruit of them all... it doesn't need to learn conversation with it's shape, it just lies there...

Henrik Schyffert:
Bananas release a gas, which make the other fruits grow too quickly.

Johan Wahlstr?m:
Banana gas...

Henrik Schyffert:
The hazardous banana gas is spreading!

Mikael Tornving:
W???! W???! W???! W???! Don't panic: Banana gas alert!

[Mikael Tornving simulates covering up windows with duct tape]

Mikael Tornving:
My son... whatever you do, my boy, watch out for the banana gas! It took your grand-dad, and it almost took me...

Anders S Nilsson:
Vote Red for Blue... what the hell am I saying?

Osama bin Laden:
I don't like that song "Hi, it's Nick-click"; it makes my beard go right up. Sorry about AIK, by the way.

Henrik Hjelt:
A lot of people see Bush as a stupid cowboy. I see him more like Manuel in "Fawlty Towers".