Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[from Teaser Trailer] Hello, boys and girls, or whatever. My name is Captain Jack Sparrow. Ah, I take it some of you have heard of me. As you may well know, there are times... almost constantly, in fact, where I prefer to look at the world through the bottom of a glass. Rum. Something like this. [takes a shot of rum] You may have also heard whisperings and rumors that Jack Sparrow be recruiting a crew to undertake a voyage to the Fountain of Youth. Not true. Of course not. But even if it weren't not true, you wouldn't be interested in joining me, would you? Eh? No, thought not. I do admit that there'd be varied and substantial dangers along the way including, but not limited to, zombies, cutthroats, mermaids, and a vicious and vivacious Penélope Cruz. Which is why I'm not going. No sir. Impossible to find the place anyway. No one knows where it is. Plus, I'd have to have a bloody map. Or a Bloody Mary. Or both. Which is not a bad idea, in fact, a Bloody Mary. Bloody Marys all around! It's on the Mouse. Barman! [leaves]

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[Standing on a cliff edge] You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[after jumping off of the now-exploded lighthouse] Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[to Angelica] I thought I should give you warning. We're taking the ship. It's nothing personal. I just think it would be best if you - [Sword comes through door] - stay out of it.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[after being addressed as "Jack Sparrow"] There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
(Posing as the judge) So, what do we here?(grins, to which Gibbs says "Jack?")

Captain Jack Sparrow:
a Gentleman allows the woman to maintain her fiction

Captain Jack Sparrow:
You've stolen me. I'm 'ere to take meself back.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
So you are guilty of being innocent of being Jack Sparrow?

Blackbeard:
If I don't kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am.

Blackbeard:
(To Syrena) Walk or die.

Blackbeard:
(To Jack) If you jump, and die, then she will have her chance.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
[referring to the Fountain of Youth] Have you been there?

Captain Teague:
Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?

Captain Jack Sparrow:
Depends on the light.

Jack Sparrow:
You've stolen me and I'm here to take meself back. [fight with "the other" captain Jack Sparrow]

Angelica:
You were the only Pirate I thought I would pass for.

Jack Sparrow:
That is not a compliment.

Angelica:
Don't worry Jack. I forgave you a long time ago.

Jack Sparrow:
For what? For leaving you?

Angelica:
The Fountain of Youth.

Jack Sparrow:
Oh dearest Angelica, fret not. You still have a few useable years left.

Angelica:
Ha. Always so charming. You didn't answered me.

Angelica:
I was ready to take my vows. And you - what were you doing in a Spanish convent?!?

Jack Sparrow:
I mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake!

Angelica:
You seduced me and used me. I was innocent in the ways of men!

Jack Sparrow:
You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted.

Jack Sparrow:
How can you say I used you?

Angelica:
You know exactly how.

Jack Sparrow:
I know but, how can you say it?

Jack Sparrow:
[after leading a mutiny on Queen Anne Revenge] The ship is ours!

Blackbeard:
[enters upon deck] Gentlemen. [takes a shot from a bottle and throws it in front of Jack] I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were... resting. And upon I sudden I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandon their posts without orders, without leave. Men before the mast... and taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?

Angelica:
Mutiny, Captain.

Blackbeard:
Again?

Angelica:
Mutiny!

Blackbeard:
Aye... mutiny. And what fate befalls mutineers; now, we know that answer to that, do we not? Mutineers... HANG!

[Responding to Blackbeard's sword, the Queen Anne's Revenge comes to life and ties up the crew]

Jack Sparrow:
(hung upside down) Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.

Jack Sparrow:
You have a ridiculously high regard for fate, mate.

Jack Sparrow:
Hola. Come, little drink?

Angelica:
Wine, music, candlelight. I think we traveled down this road before, Jack.

Jack Sparrow:
Yes we have. I remember it well.

Jack Sparrow:
Oh my dearest Angelica. You and I are as thick as thieves, love. Tell me the rules.

Angelica:
Water from the Fountain of Youth. The shimmering tear of a mermaid. Silver chalices of Ponce de Leon.

Jack Sparrow:
Aha...

Angelica:
With these items...

Jack Sparrow:
Yes.

Angelica:
With these items you may take all the years of live from another, Jack.

Jack Sparrow:
Ey?!

Angelica:
You know what that mean. We cannot go alone, you and I. The ritual requires a victim.

Jack Sparrow:
That is unfortunate.

Angelica:
Yes it is.

Jack Sparrow:
I feel my desire of the fountain greatly lessend.

Angelica:
But there is something onboard you do want.

Jack Sparrow:
The Black Pearl in a bottle. Why is the Black Pearl in a bottle?

Angelica:
The lies I told you were not lies.

Jack Sparrow:
...You lied to me by telling me the truth?

Angelica:
[nods]

Jack Sparrow:
That's very good. May I use that?

Angelica:
I sure you will anyway.

Jack Sparrow:
Mmm... Of course I will.

[after Jack can't open the portal to the Fountain of Youth]

Angelica:
Jack, have you ever seen, with your own eyes, the Fountain of Youth?

Jack Sparrow:
I'm sorry, could you repeat the question please?

[when Angelica and Blackbeard lie dying]

Jack:
[to Angelica, handing her the "de Vida" Chalice] Drink this. It'll give you life. [to Blackbeard, handing him the "Aqua" chalice] You must drink the other.

Angelica:
How will I get free of this bonds?

Jack:
You broke free of your bonds half an hour ago, waiting for the exact moment to pounce. (To which point he instinctively turned around to stop Angelica attacking him with a club)

Angelica:
I'm with child. Yours.

Jack Sparrow:
[surprised] I don't recall we ever had...

Angelica:
You were drunk.

Jack Sparrow:
I've actually never been that drunk.

Angelica:
Admit it, Jack. You still love me.

Jack Sparrow:
If you had a sister and a dog, I'd choose the dog.

Barbossa:
What is it the men fear? Say the word. Speak it.

First Mate:
Whitecap Bay, Captain.

Barbossa:
[to crew] Aye! Whitecap Bay. Every worthless seaman alive fears the name, and rightly so, but few know why or dare to ask.

Gibbs:
Be the stories true?

Barbossa:
Say what robs you of your staunch heart Mr Gibbs or forever leave it to the whiter fields of fancy.

Gibbs:
Mermaids.

Barbossa:
Aye! Mermaid waters - that be our path. Sea ghouls, devil fish thirsty for flesh of man. Cling to your soul Gibbs, for mermaids be given to take the rest ... to the bone.

[crew member dives]

Other crew member:
Man overboard!

Barbossa:
Nay! A deserter.

First Mate:
Come about!

Barbossa:
Nay! Gentlemen, I do not ask any more of any man than what that man can deliver. But I do ask this: Are we not King's men?

Crew:
[weakly] Aye.

Barbossa:
On a King's mission?

Crew:
Aye.

Barbossa:
I did not note any fear in the eyes of the Spanish as they passed us by. Are we not King's men!?

Crew:
Aye!

Barbossa:
Aye! Hands aloft and bear away. Stave on ahead to Whitecap Bay.

Jack Sparrow:
You've stolen me and I'm here to take meself back. [fight with "the other" captain Jack Sparrow]

Jack Sparrow:
Only one person alive knows that move. [kissing "the other" captain Jack Sparrow] Always wanted to do that. [takes away the fake beard of "the other" captain Jack Sparrow] Hello Angelica.

Angelica:
You were the only Pirate I thought I would pass for.

Jack Sparrow:
That is not a compliment.

Angelica:
Don't worry Jack. I forgave you a long time ago.

Jack Sparrow:
For what? For leaving you?

Angelica:
Recall that I left you.

Angelica:
[When Jack points his sword at her on instinct] How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?

[when Angelica and Blackbeard lie dying]

Jack:
[to Angelica, handing her the "de Vida" Chalice] Drink this. It'll give you life. [to Blackbeard, handing him the "Aqua" chalice] You must drink the other.

Angelica:
No.

[She pushes the "de Vida" chalice containing the tear away]

Jack:
I cannot save you both. One of you must sacrifice.

Angelica:
[offering him the chalice with the tear] You take it, father. For your soul.

Jack:
Captain Teach, she is dying. You must save your daughter. [offering Blackbeard the "Aqua" chalice again]

Blackbeard:
[points to the "Aqua" chalice] This one takes life. [eyeing the "de Vida" chalice] This one has the tear and gives life.

Jack:
Aye. Hurry.

[Blackbeard greedily takes the "de Vida" chalice and drinks from it to Jack's dismay. He then turns his attention to Angelica.]

Blackbeard:
Angelica, save me, my child.

Jack:
No.

[Despite being shocked by Blackbeard's actions, Angelica agrees and drinks from the "Aqua" chalice. As the two prepare for the ritual to happen in near death, Jack stands up and turns around for a brief moment. Soon he shows his cunning side again and turns around to face both Blackbeard and Angelica.]

Jack:
Wait a minute. In fact it may have been the other way around. [pointing to the "Aqua chalice] This cup had the tear. The other one had the one without it.

Blackbeard:
[finding out Jack had tricked him and is being surrounded by the fountain's water] Trickster! Devil!

Angelica:
Father. [finding out her wound on her hand has healed and she is immortal. She faces Jack with anger in her eyes] You Bastard! How could you?!

Jack:
Your father saved you! Perhaps his soul is redeemed, aye.

[Jack is rowing Angelica to be marooned on an abandoned island. She is tied up and angry at him]

Angelica:
I hate you!

Jack:
The bloke who saved your life.

Angelica:
The years I possess, stolen from my own father.

Jack:
I was only helping Blackbeard do what any father should've done.

Captain Jack Sparrow:
Hmm, I'm seeing a lot of blue in that purple.