Playing by Heart

Joan:
Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.

Meredith:
As you can see I'm not very good at this.

Trent:
You're charming.

Meredith:
Wow.

Trent:
Yeah I know, the flowers are a little much, but I'm late. But only because I had second thoughts about the flowers and threw them away halfway down the block. Then had third thoughts and went back and got them.

Keenan:
That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.

Joan:
She's an angel.

Keenan:
She only has one eye.

Joan:
Yeah, but it's her good one.

Paul:
Don't look at me with that tone of voice.

Keenan:
What did I ever do to deserve you?

Joan:
Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.

Keenan:
This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.

Joan:
So? We're all damaged goods.

Meredith:
I have a hard time trusting men.

Trent:
I'm not men. I'm not a group. I'm just me.

Meredith:
I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want all this calculated artificiality. This dress, these stupid little bows in my hair, they aren't me. I mean, look at you. You - you don't sit around your house in an Armani suit, do you?

Trent:
No. My house is black-tie.

Hannah:
And you really didn't sleep with her?

Paul:
No, of course not.

Hannah:
And - you didn't want to sleep with her.

Paul:
Oh, God, yes.

Paul:
You're overwrought.

Hannah:
I'm perfectly wrought. Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought.

Paul:
There's no such word.

Hannah:
There is now.

Paul:
You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.

Joan:
You can't treat people the way you treat them and then say something adorable like that.

Keenan:
I can't stop thinking about you.

Joan:
I love conversations that start with the guy saying "I can't stop thinking about you." Mind you I've never actually been on the receiving end of any of those conversations...

Keenan:
Just looking at you makes me happy.

Joan:
I have - I have to sit down.

Keenan:
When we're together, whether or not I show it, I just can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. But right now I need to ask you to do something for me.

Joan:
Anything.

Keenan:
Shut up.

Joan:
When was having sex or not having sex not a problem?

Keenan:
You're terrific, sensational really, but I'm not right for you.

Trent:
You know I'm not just asking you to dinner as a pre-emptive strike against litigation. I'm asking because...

Meredith:
I'll have dinner with you.

Trent:
What changed your mind?

Meredith:
Anyone who can say 'preemptive strike against litigation' with a straight face deserves a dinner companion.

Joan:
I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.

Joan:
Blanche can look at you with a gaze of unflappable superiority that springs from total detachment and disinterest... not unlike how you're looking at me know.

Joan:
The lad doesn't say much and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul.

Keenan:
This... isn't anything. It's not anything now and it won't be anything ever.

Joan:
WOW. Message received, end of date.

Joan:
I feed the f***ing thing. I take her to the vet, all you do is pet her twice a day... which is a HELL of a lot more than you've been doing to me lately.

Joan:
You don't say much, do you?

Keenan:
Does anyone when they're with you?

Joan:
What, is that a rhetorical question? Why is my life so complicated? Gee, I don't know. Why is your life so f***ing simple?

Max:
I uh... I like your tight body. It looks like it would do what I tell it.

Joan:
What?

Max:
I said...

Joan:
No, I heard what you said. And I'll admit 'What?' was a rather banal, cliché, noncolorful response. What I really meant to say was: 'Why don't you do the world a big fat f***ing favor and crawl back into your mother's womb?'

Meredith:
Well, That doesn't take long does it?

Trent:
What doesn't?

Meredith:
I mean, you turn a guy down a-and WHAM. he just metamophoses into an anger ball.

Trent:
An 'Anger ball'?

Meredith:
See.

Joan:
No, no, STOP. I've waited my entire life for somebody that I cared about to tell me they loved me and if you think you're getting out of this car now, you're INSANE.

Joan:
Last time I saw Gary he was wearing a blue sweater and an idiotic expression. The sweater was new.

Keenan:
My mind has an endless capacity for useless information.

Max:
Some girls like you to say things like that to them.

Joan:
Some girls like you to take a dump on them. I'm neither one of those girls.

Hugh:
F***er works for NBC. He's sitting in my home, with my wife, and my dog, and he doesn't have to worry about the Thursday night f***ing schedule.

Mark:
This is a hell of a way for you to find out.

Mildred:
Find out what?

Mark:
Well, that I'm gay for one thing... come on, you never suspected?

Mildred:
You were always so good at sports.

Mildred:
So what's the other thing?

Mark:
What other thing?

Mildred:
You said "that I'm gay for one thing" so what's the other thing?

Mark:
That I'm dying.

Paul:
Well if I have to wear a tux, she has to wear a bra.

Lana:
That was quite a story. Right entertainin', but Sugar I don't know who you think you're foolin'

Hugh:
What do you mean?

Lana:
Lana may be three sheets to the preverbial wind, but I don't believe a single word coming out of your pretty, straight, little mouth.

Lana:
I may be a fabulous looking broad, but I got a penis. This ain't no disco and I don't want no cyring game.

Meredith:
I don't deal with passion well.

Trent:
Maybe you don't like that loss of control. You prefer to be the director, telling everyone what to do.

Meredith:
It's pretty painfully obvious, isn't it.

Trent:
Somewhat painful, yes... You know there's something to find out about me.

Meredith:
What's that?

Trent:
That I take direction pretty well.

Mildred:
: I never loved your father. Not for a minute.

Mark:
: Wow. You're...good at this.

Mildred:
I was so relieved when he died.

Mark:
Geez Mom, don't hold anything back.

Paul:
What are you thinking?.

Hannah Hot liquids and facial burns..

Joan:
I said you look like a man in need of a coke..

Meredith:
They look so perfect together..

Hannah:
They look so perfect together..

Paul:
Just like we do..

Meredith:
This is gonna sound really weird..

Trent:
You're worried about Barley, and you want to go back to your place..

Meredeith:
: Oh my G-d, this is way f***ing spooky..

Hugh:
: I lost my wife and kids..

Allison:
Ask the bartender, he can find anything..

Hugh:
: I should be alone. Alone in hell. That's where I am..

Joan:
She's got her eye on you..

Keenan:
Yeah, but it's her good one..

Joan:
You should write these kiss-offs down. How to crush a woman's soul in ten words or less. That was ten, wasn't it?

(counting) You're-terrific-Sensational-really-but-I'm-not-right-for-you. Yep. Ten..

Gracie:
Roger..

Roger:
Yeah?.

Gracie:
Don't be an angerball..