Porky Pig's Feat

Daffy Duck:
[after the manager falls down an almost endless flight of stairs] I guess I showed that overstuffed turnip.

Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
[Appears wearing bandages] WHAT?

Daffy Duck:
Yipe.

Porky Pig:
M-m-me too. Yipe.

[first lines]

Porky Pig:
[reading from his bill] "B-B-Broken Arms. B-bill. Room, uh, six-sixty-five dollars. Bath. Te-te-ten dollars and fifty cents. T-t-total: a hundred-and-fifty-two-dollars and fifty cents."

Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
You will, of course, pay the bill now before you leave, no?

Porky Pig:
N-no - I mean, yes! M-my partner, Daffy Duck, will be r-right back. He's out c-c-c-cashing a check.

[Cut to Daffy playing dice with elevator operator]

Daffy Duck:
Come on, seven! Be good to Daffy! Don't fail me now!

Elevator Gambler:
Oh-oh! Snake eyes. Too bad! You is a dead duck, duck.

Porky Pig:
D-don't worry, D-Daffy will be here in a minute with the d-d-dou-d-d-money.

Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
Well, I hope so.

Daffy Duck:
[Bursts into the room and shoves himself into manager's face] Insulting my integrity, eh, Fatso? Insinuating I'd flee this flea-bitten dump, eh, Fatso? Intimating I'd abscond with your financial remunerations, eh, Fatso? [By now, Daffy has gone so far into the manager's face that it has been pushed into itself] Hey, look! A Dick Tracy character: Pruneface.

Broken Arms Hotel Manager:
You have insult me! We meet on the field of honor! [Slaps Daffy with a glove, then hands him a card] My card.

Daffy Duck:
[Punches holes in card] You've had your coffee ration for this week, Robespierre. [Hands him the card, now a paper doll chain] You have insult me! We meet on the field of onion! [Hits manager with glove with horseshoe inside] My card, you cad. [Pastes a piece of fly paper on manager's face]

Daffy Duck:
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to... Geronimo!

[last lines]

[Daffy and Porky are chained up in their room]

Daffy Duck:
I can't stand it. I can't stand it! It's getting me! I'm going stir crazy! Bastille batty! Cooler cuckoo! Look at my prison pallor. I'm as black as a sheet.

Porky Pig:
Gosh, if B-Bugs Bunny was only here.

Daffy Duck:
Yeah! Bugs Bunny, my hero. He can get out of any spot.

Porky Pig:
I saw him in a L-L-Leon Schlesinger cartoon once.

Daffy Duck:
The hunter had him covered...

Porky Pig:
And he g-g-grabbed the gun...

Daffy Duck:
And bang! The hunter fell. What a guy. Nothing can hold him. He'll get us out of here.

[Daffy picks up the phone]

Daffy Duck:
Hello, Central? Give me Bugs Bunny. Hello, Bugs. This is Daffy.

Bugs Bunny:
[on phone] Eh, what's up, duck?

Daffy Duck:
That palooka manager has got us locked up in the Broken Arms Hotel. We thought you could help us get out.

Bugs Bunny:
Eh, did you try the elevator?

Daffy Duck:
Yes.

Bugs Bunny:
Throw him down the stairs?

Daffy Duck:
Yes.

Bugs Bunny:
Use the sheets?

Daffy Duck:
Yes.

Bugs Bunny:
Swing across on the ropes?

Daffy Duck:
Yes. We tried all those ways.

[The door to the next room opens; Bugs is inside on the phone, chained to a ball as well]

Bugs Bunny:
Ah, don't work, do they?

Daffy Duck:
Okay. We'll pay. We'll pay! Lemme see now, how much was it, how much?

[the manager pulls out the bill and reads it. We just hear babbling, but the total reads $500.62]

Daffy Duck:
Sold to an American! [Daffy bashes the manager on the head with a mallet and runs off]

[first title card]

Title Card:
Any similarity between this hotel and hotels living or dead is purely co-incidental.