Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

[from trailer]

Protestor:
General, what are these tiny little bumps all over my chicken?

The General:
[thinking fast] Uh... those are our new... Flavor Pods!

[from trailer]

Arbie:
They are very slowly approaching the entrance!

Micki:
They'll break through faster than the five minutes it took me to turn Wendy into a full blown lesbian!

Arbie:
Damn it! Well we need action before they turn the glass into lesbians!

Denny:
Mothaf***a!

General Lee Roy:
And for the record, having a diaper fetish is a completely normal, healthy, and harmless bedroom activity.

Arbie:
Carl Junior, it's me, Arbie. I know somewhere deep within the bowels of this creature you've become lives the soul of the beautiful racist, animal-f***ing, inbred trailer-thrash I know and love.

Paco Bell:
America isn't ready to accept a gay Mexican chicken sandwich.

Arbie:
You just won the contest.

Chicken Denny:
What contest?

Arbie:
The wet t-shirt contest, motherf***er! [opens fire]

Humus:
The chicken... the chicken has declared jihad on us all.

The General:
Oh, it's just as my old grandpapa used to say: "Hey junior, get over here with them matches! This cross ain't gonna burn itself!"

Wendy:
I'm sorry Arbie, but how could I ever love someone that wants me to eat cock?

Denny:
You know they always say you can tell the size of a cock by standing down from its beak all the way to its tailfeathers.

Chicken Zombie:
I know it's fattening, but I love the skin.

Arbie:
Say, where did you get this gun?

Mature Arbie:
I've got a whole stash of them here. I keep them hidden here with the childrens' promotional items. I was going to be an alienated employee who kept to himself and then went on a murderous rampage this afternoon.

Carl Jr.:
Would you look at the size of my woodpecker.

[Directing everyone to look at his penis at the end of the mop handle that is shoved through his rectum]

Humus:
[Looks at the blood covered walls] That reminds me. I need a tampon.

Crazy Ron:
You fools! This restaurant was built on anicent Tromahawk tribe sacred burial ground! Get out of here while you still can! Get out! Save yourselves! Save yourselves!

[changing his tone]

Crazy Ron:
And... Uh, I'll have one Sloppy Jose value meal.

Arbie:
[after seeing his exact same tattoo on Old Arbie and ominous lightning goes off] That's strange. Nobody said anything about thunderstorms in windowless basements.

Arby:
Don't worry little girl we won't let what happened to your mother's bloody decapitated corpse.

Wendy:
Arby, why would you say something like that?

Zombie Chicken:
Yeah Counter Girl, Why would you say something like that?